CRYSTAL OF THE GODS
by Emma Lindelius
Summary: After my first review ever I have updated this story. Hopefully it will be better now without the mushyness. Enjoy!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **This is an unofficial fan fiction novel based on the TV-series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". I don't own or have any rights to the characters or the television shows.

**Prologue **

Ten years has passed since the destruction of Sunnydale. While Buffy traveled the world, fighting evil where it cropped up, Giles eventually went back to England to resurrect the Watchers Counsel. Willow spent a few years in relative harmony before she was summoned to a witches' coven in Austria. This secretive and closely knitted group of women, lead by the High Priestess Catherine Romanov, was widely recognized as the most powerful coven on earth. Here Willow began to explore the full range of her talents, soon climbing the ranks of the coven's hierarchy of power.

In L.A. Angel had come close to losing the battle with the Senior Partners but at the last minute Buffy, Willow and a group of Slayers showed up. Willow had received a message that Angel had finally come to his senses and they figured he probably needed some help. After an epic carnage that kills both Gunn and Illyria, Angel and Spike found themselves fighting alongside Buffy and her team, breaking the camels back as it were. When the dust cleared, the powers of the Senior Partners had been seriously weakened and in the coming years Angel began to fill the void left by the prestigious law-firm. Angel's contacts and impressive reputation made the company thrive and soon they had become as global as Wolfram & Hart once had been. After a few years Angel relocates to New York, leaving Spike in charge in Los Angeles and charging Xander with running the office in Washington DC.

As time went by, the situation with the slayers became more and more difficult. The powers Buffy and Willow had released in that doomsday battle with The First, now threatened to cause more damage than good. Although most girls who where given these extraordinary powers gladly conformed to the rules Giles and Buffy set up, controlling this many girls eventually became impossible. Too many became renegade slayers, drawn into the darkness, choosing to serve demons, committing crimes and killing humans. After a massive showdown where Buffy barely managed to lead her team to victory against three renegade slayers and their demon employers, the Powers That Be had had enough. In one full sweep all the slayers, except Buffy, where stripped of their powers. Once again Buffy was forced to carry the burden of being the one and only Slayer alone.

With Buffy mostly occupied with her mission, Xander becomes Dawn's real caretaker. When she finished High School with honors it was Xander that financed her collage education. Being smart and ambitious Dawn found herself having the choice of any school she wanted. She eventually chose Harvard and after finishing her law-degree she went to Washington DC to do her internship at a law-firm there. Being the Slayers sister she had learnt to take care of herself so when she stumbled on to a potentially demon-worshipping client she decided to handle it by herself. It wasn't the first time she had come up against evil on her own and initially this case didn't seem special. It took several weeks before she realized she was in trouble and called Xander. But by then she was in too deep. Xander soon understood that there was more to it than Dawn had told him and called Buffy and Angel. At that time, on the other side of the world, Willow had received alarming news from an entirely different source that something was very wrong in her homeland's capital. So in a strange turn of events the old Scooby-gang found themselves together again, fighting what at first seemed like just another evil evil thing.

The group of demon-worshippers that Dawn appeared to have stumbled on to had regular meetings in an old cave north of town, where they sacrificed young women. Dawn convinces the gang to use her as bait to lead them to the location of the cave. After Buffy's initial hesitation, Dawn makes her believe there is no other way. When Buffy, Angel, Willow and Xander reach the cave it seems like any other fight at first. Dawn was standing in the middle of a circle, surrounded by thirteen chanting priests preparing to kill her. But when Buffy and Angel charge in, they soon discovered that the priests were the least of their problems. In the cave walls hideous creatures had been laying in wait. Willow used her magic as much as she dared but suddenly she realized her powers were being blocked. Someone or something was using Dawn to chant and the only way Willow could regain her powers was to kill Dawn. At this moment it is clear to everyone that they have been lured into a trap. The exits were blocked, Willow was helpless, Xander was soon taken prisoner by the priests, and Buffy and Angel found themselves outmatched. Dawn had lost control over her own will and all she could do was to weep as her family and loved ones faced their last battle.

Then, when all seemed lost, strange noises were heard from the cave's entrance. Demons were being killed, help was on the way. It was Spike who had gotten warnings from a demon friend that some truly evil thing had staged a trap to rid the world of the strongest champions of good. Feeling he should be included in that he had gathered a group of former slayers and other fighters and headed for the capital. With Spike turning up at the nick of time, Buffy and Angel regained their focus, and standing back to back slaying demons by the dozens, they finally got the upper hand in the battle.

But as the task the priests had been sent to accomplish appeared to be lost they decided to kill as many as they could, turning to Xander with knifes in their hands. Willow watched helplessly as they descend on her friend out of her reach. With the powers controlling her temporarily wavering in the wake of the dying demons, Dawn saw her chance to break free. But unable to end the chanting being done through her she does the only thing she can to save Xander. With the last drop of strength in her exhausted body she grabbed the sacrificial knife lying in front of her. As the blade penetrated her flesh, the chanting was replaced by horrifying cries of pain and despair and Willow's powers were restored. She saved Xander at the last minute by unleashing all her grief and rage on to the priests, burning them to ash. Buffy was in the middle of fighting when she suddenly noticed her sister on her knees, dripping with blood. She quickly dodged an attacker and ran to her sister's aid. Unfortunately it was too late. Buffy kneels by her sister's side just in time to hear her last words, "I'm sorry".

The demons were all defeated, the priests were all dead. A foul smell of rotting flesh filled the cave and in the deafening silence the gang knew nothing will ever be the same again. After losing herself in tears for a while, Buffy slowly got up and left the cave without a word, disappearing into the night.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 **

The rain began to drizzle from the dark night sky and Angel cursed quietly. This was the last thing he needed. The rain would wash away the sent and that's all he had to go on now; the scent of her blood. He walked slowly, worried he might miss some small sign of her whereabouts. It had been hours since she had died but the creature had dragged her along, almost as if he was playing with him. The voice in his head that said this was a trap had gone from a whisper to a scream, but he had no choice but to follow. They had spent months tracking this thing. Fourteen kills in three months, all horribly mutilated and their eyes and teeth gone as well as most of their blood. He had also lost four of his best fighters. That's why he was out here alone on this dark, depressing night. He couldn't risk anyone else. There had been a lot of fuss about his decision of course. His team had a tendency to get a little overprotective of him. But in truth he had missed this, missed the simplicity of the hunt. His life had gotten increasingly complicated the past decade and lately he had seriously begun to fear he was losing his mind.

A police-siren roared passed him and he swiftly stepped into the shadows. The NYPD had been very nervous about the presence of him and his team lately. Over the years they had developed a delicate balance with the police but the trust he had acquired had been badly damaged the past months. A detective, that turned out to be a demon, had spent a great deal of time making it look like Angel had something to do with the murders. Unfortunately he managed to kill himself before they had a chance to ask why. A nagging feeling told him it all connected somehow but he couldn't put the pieces together yet. Suddenly the scent hit him like a sledgehammer and he froze. She was close. He inhaled deeply and turned his head slowly to locate a direction. Then he heard it; a snarl and a strange swooshing sound that came from an alley across the street. He made the distance in three long leaps then stopped dead at the edge of the alley. As he peered around the corner he could see something moving around at the end and he knew instinctively this was the creature he had been hunting. Careful not to make a sound he drew the sharp sword he had been shielding under his long coat. Even though every muscle in his body ached for a fight he forced himself to move slowly. He had been chasing this thing too long to make any mistakes now.

As he moved in quietly, avoiding the thrash and debris scattered on the ground, he spotted the large creature furiously hunched over its kill. It was wearing a ragged coat and the hood was pulled over its head, covering its face. He tried to get as close as possible before he was detected and there was just a few feet between them when the creature slowly rose. There was no time to think. Without hesitation Angel unleashed his mass of muscles on the large predator but as his sword passed into the creature's body it felt as if it penetrated nothing but air. He pulled back and shifted uneasily. Something was terribly wrong here. The creature had now risen to his full length, which was considerably taller than him, and it turned unhurriedly. There was no sound and Angel had to fight an urge to run. When the creature finally faced him he heard himself gasp in shock. He thought he had seen everything by now but this was definitely new. Instead of a face in the normal sense there was a black hole with a vortex spinning faster and faster inside. As he felt the vortex sucking him in he cursed his own stupidity. This is what he got for giving in to his inner nature! He should have listened to his friends and stayed away.

As the vortex drew him closer and closer he desperately tried to grab on to something that could keep him from vanishing into the creature. As his fingers hopelessly reached for the drainpipe there was only one thought spinning around in his mind; he could not die now. They needed him. A booming noise rose from deep within the creature and suddenly the vortex slowed down and a voice whispered in an eerie, seductive tone,

"Angelus. Angelus!" The voice cut right through his mind and he was pinned down by an invisible force. "Angelus, we're waiting for you." The voice tugged at his memory, he knew he had heard it somewhere before. The creature grew taller and taller in front of him as it went on, "Come join us, Angelus. We're waiting..."

The last words echoed in the narrow space of the alley and Angel fought hard to break free. Suddenly the creature began to convulse, thrashing this way and that. It started spinning faster and faster, becoming engulfed by its own vortex. A bright flash of light temporarily blinded him and he fell to the ground. When he could see again the creature was gone.

Kaya fingered one of her knifes nervously. The thought of him out there alone, fighting God knows what, made her hearts beat so fast she was sure the others could see them through her blouse. But Steve kept staring at the computer in his lap and Toy had his focus on the street outside the car window. Steve's computer had told them that this creature was somewhere in this neighborhood but that's about as much as their super expensive techno-gadget could do for them. For the rest they had to count on luck. For all their calm expression though she knew the guys were as worried as she was. Before Angel had set out on his private hunt they had done just about anything to stop him and if she thought there was a chain strong enough to hold him she would have tied him up herself. But their boss could be very stubborn when he wanted to. Normally she would never question his judgment but since that little Slayer tramp ran off seven months ago he had gotten increasingly erratic. She had only known Angel for a little more than a year and she had never met the Slayer but from the stories she had heard their relationship had been anything but healthy. But it wasn't until she disappeared that she realized how big an influence the Slayer really was. There had been a lot of sleepless nights lately when she had tried to understand Angel and to figure out why he did what he did. But maybe it was because she was only half human that she just couldn't understand how someone as powerful and strong as Angel could let himself be so weakened by a woman. Especially one with a ridiculous name like Buffy. The very concept of a warrior with the name Buffy seemed to her to be a contradiction in itself.

Suddenly the driver hit the breaks and the car came to a screeching halt. Through her window she could see a bright flash of light coming from an alley not far from where they were and with pounding hearts she threw the door open. She could still remember with vivid clarity how Angel had charged through the gates of her prison and torn off the chains restraining her like they were made of paper. Her father had kept her in chains since he had stolen her away from her mother at the age of three. For almost a hundred years he had told her she was a freak, unclean and beyond salvation. He would make her kill to feed for his own amusement. And sometimes when he had parties he used to bring her out of her dungeon and paraded her around like a joke and they would all laugh. She had her mother's body and for some reason that had been fine when her parents had mated but a daughter in human form was the ugliest thing imaginable. She had her fathers eyes though, and his physic. Two hearts, three lungs and a metabolism that made her look like twenty when she was close to a hundred. But Angel had rescued her from eternal imprisonment and torture and brought her here instead. For that she would always owe him but more than that she cared about him in ways she had never thought possible. It wasn't until he had looked her in the eyes with an expression of total sincerity and told her that she was beautiful that she actually believed it. Believed that her slender body, long black hair and those big lumps on her chest where not a joke. She had cried like a baby against his chest that night and the memory still brought color to her cheeks. But he never spoke of it again or gave as much as a hint that he intended to take advantage. A true gentleman. But now her hero was in the worst sort of danger and all she could do was hope he was still alive.

When she reached the alley she looked around frantically. Toy was close behind her and when she stopped he almost crashed into her. He tried to go around her, to rush in, the way he always did but she grabbed his shirt and held him back. He gave her an angry stare but she ignored him and focused on the alley. It was dark and all she could see was vague shapes and shadows. Suddenly something moved towards them and she instinctively reached for a knife. Then she saw Angel stumble out of the darkness and she exhaled with relief, realizing she had been holding her breath.

"Hey, what the hell happened, boss?" Toy blurted out. "Did you get him?" As usual Toy took no notice to Angel's obvious exhaustion and Kaya could have slapped him but she didn't want to cause more problems. Angel on the other hand just stared vacantly in front of him as if they weren't even there. His eyes were filled with a kind of dread she had never seen in him before and the thought that there was something out there that even scared Angel made her tremble all over.

"Angel, what's wrong?" she asked fearfully, making her voice as soft as she could. But he walked past her without answering.

When they had gotten to the car he walked past it without noticing so she gently put her hand on his arm. To her astonishment he flinched as if her hand had burnt him. He threw her a look of anger and resentment, things she had never seen in his eyes before. She stared up at him in bewilderment. What had happened to him? He regained his posture seconds later, even managed a small, apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, Kaya." he said, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'm not sure what happened exactly, but I think the creature is gone, whatever it was." He paused for a moment, his face unreadable. When he spoke again his voice was almost a whisper. "I need to be alone for a while." He hesitated, hung his head, eyeing the pavement and avoiding her eyes. Then he added quietly, "I'll see you tomorrow." She could feel him wrestling with something but she wasn't sure what to do. She knew what it was like to have a demon within, even though hers had never been quite as homicidal as Angel's. But she understood the hard reality he had to face everyday, needing to redeem what he had once been and keep the demon from surfacing again, knowing all too well what could happen if it did. But ever since Buffy had vanished that night in Washington, his internal struggle seemed to get harder every day. And tonight for the first time, she feared he might one day lose the battle with the demon within. She fought the sense of growing horror, as she watched him slowly walk away into the night without another word.

Angel pulled his black coat closer around him. Not that the cold bothered him, it was more a feeble attempt to soothe the raging torrent of thoughts racing through his mind. It didn't really work though. The voice kept ringing in his ears. He knew he had heard it before but he also knew that the memory was tied in with images he had spent the better part of two centuries trying to forget. He hunched his shoulders, sending out a clear message to anyone who was watching that he was in no mood to talk. All the things that had made him fall in love with this city over the years, the streetlights glittering against the night sky, the blinking neon-signs, the cheerful sounds of people laughing and singing, none of that seemed to penetrate the darkness in his mind tonight. At least it had stopped raining.

In the months after Dawn's death everyone had done their own research separately, trying to discover who had set them up and why. At first the answers they had found seemed so unlikely, unthinkable, preposterous even, that neither of them had wanted to admit it could be true. It wasn't until Xander had snapped and gone into a ranting tirade in his office one day that he had decided to get the others together on a conference call to compare notes. As it turned out they had all found different pieces of the puzzle and when they put it all together it became far more frightening than any of them had expected.

The legend, or at least they had assumed it had been a legend, stated that before the existence of mankind Gods and demons fought for position of earth. In a massive showdown the Gods were trapped and forced to surrender. But before the demons could lure them of their powers, the Gods infused a crystal with all their might and then trusted a brave knight to hide it. The knight honored his mission and the crystal stayed hidden for thousands of generations. Then one day an old sorcerer by the name of Tam unearthed the crystal and set about to unlock its secrets. When he understood that the crystal could give its owner powers of the Gods, to rule over heaven and earth, life and death in this dimension and beyond, he initially meant to return it to safety. But eventually human greed took over and he decided to use it for his own purposes. According to the legend the sorcerer did gain access to the powers within the crystal but it didn't take long before he was overpowered by his new abilities and went mad. He brought drought, ice and tidal waves in his wake and killed almost all of mankind in the process. After that the story ended and there were no known accounts of what happened to the crystal. Until now.

Rumors in the dark whispered that a powerful demon had found this crystal. And according to calculations done by the High Priestess in the coven where Willow practiced, the exact star-alignments to evoke the powers of the crystal would be in place soon. It only happened every few hundred years and it was a small window of opportunity. There where allegedly only two ways to tap into its powers, either one did it in a parallel dimension, which would be far riskier but also provide more power, or it was done in a very exact location somewhere on earth, although no one seemed to be able to figure out exactly where. But it was the parallel dimension that had gotten everyone so freaked out. There were strong indications that hundreds of high level demons had disappeared in the last year. Not dead but simply vanished, leaving their minions to run around aimlessly. The rumor was that the demons had been summoned to a parallel dimension where a powerful demon called Dacq'ilion attempted to use the crystal to become God.

Spike was the one that had brought the final peace of the puzzle to the table; the whereabouts of an amulet that, if used properly, would give the location of the entrance to this parallel dimension. When it became clear that reaching this dimension in time might be the only way to stop the demons gaining control over the worlds and heavens, Spike had insisted he should be the one to go and retrieve it from the demon nest in the deepest jungles of South America. Xander had then insisted, with equal fervor, that he should go too. And Giles suggested that they call Riley, now a decorated General in charge of his own special security force, for backup.

Willow had tried to contact Buffy but no one had much hope she would respond. Initially he was supposed to go to South America as well but just as he had been ready to leave the killings had begun. It had been decided that he better stay and take care of it, leaving Spike, Xander and Riley to venture the jungle without him. It was obviously a trap to keep him from going but he had to trust that Spike could handle this without him. He had rarely failed before. At least Xander was there to keep him from getting sidetracked.

Lost in his own brooding, it took a while before he noticed the scruffy looking guy that followed closely behind him. Suddenly the man darted passed him, turned quickly and stuck a small blade under his chin.

"Give me your money or I'll kill you!" the man hissed angrily, displaying all the telltale signs of a drug addict bordering on withdrawal. Angel looked at the man calmly. He almost felt like laughing. Almost. With vampire speed and strength it took less than a second to disarm the man, twisting his arm behind his back. He was in no mood to argue tonight so he simply whispered calmly into the man's ear,

"Walk away you fool, or I'll make your worst nightmare come to life." He squeezed the man's arm a little tighter, just to make a point. Then he heard the crack and the man began to scream with pain. He let him go, appalled by his own actions. He hadn't planed to break the man's arm, just get him to leave him alone. Now he stood there staring as the man ran away like the Devil was after him. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain control over his emotions. He hadn't meant to hurt him, it was just that he hadn't fought humans in so long, he had forgotten how easily they break. He really hadn't meant it!

He started walking again, this time picking up the pace a bit. He wanted to get home. Hide. Forget. He tried to focus on the things around him; people in their fancy dresses going to some party somewhere, the half-naked prostitutes huddling in street-corners, occasional police cars going by. It didn't really work though. He could still feel the smell of the man's fear. It triggered something deep within him and he clenched his fists. This couldn't be happening. The voice kept taunting him, encouraging him to let go, to set the demon free. He wouldn't of course if he could help it, but that thing inside him was getting stronger, he could feel it. Ever since the moment he saw Buffy leaning over the bloody remains of Dawn he had found it increasingly difficult to live with the pain. He knew he had to atone for all the horrors he had caused in his past but as much as he tried he always felt that he caused as much pain now as ever before. He had lost Dawn and it had hurt Buffy in ways he didn't have words for, and it was tearing him apart. He should have protected her and he had failed. Knowing Buffy was in pain was worse than his own pain, in fact it was even worse than any hell dimension he had ever been to. And that was the problem. If he surrendered to his demon half the pain, the guilt, the fear, would all go away. He would be free. He didn't deserve that kind of peace, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold on.

With all the emotional turmoil tearing through him he didn't recognize it at first, the subtle tapping at the back of his mind. When he noticed it, he almost put his fist in the wall next to him. This was the last thing he needed, especially tonight of all nights.

"What do you want?" he shot the question through his mind, not bothering to hide the irritation he felt.

"Wow, did I catch you at a bad time?" It was Willow's voice, deep inside his head. This was her way of communicating when she felt it was urgent and she wanted to make sure no one else could eavesdrop. He hated it though.

"Just get to the point, will you." He toned down his anger a bit. Willow was a friend. His mood tonight wasn't her fault. Her voice was warm but hesitant when she answered him.

"I...we need you here. Soon. As in now." He sighed heavily. He should have known.

"Have they found the amulet?"

"Not yet, but they will. They have to." She hesitated again, as if she was afraid to give too much away. "We think we have found a way to kill Dacq'ilion. But we need you." He stopped short and a grin found its way to his lips. It felt right somehow, as if this was what he had been waiting for all his life.

"I'll be there." Strangely enough though, that answer didn't seem to make her particularly happy.

"Good." was all she said before she left his mind. He could feel her leaving and shook off the sense of sadness she had left behind. He picked up his cell-phone from his coat pocket and pressed the speed dial.

"Kaya, get the plane ready. We're leaving for Austria. Tonight."


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Somewhere in deep in the jungle along the Amazon River, seven figures slowly made their way through the endlessly winding leaves, bushes and branches. The moist heat was suffocating and the lack of paths made their journey infuriatingly slow. Suddenly Spike felt the burning sensation on his skin again and he sighed heavily, muttering to himself as he stopped. He turned to see how far behind she was this time. She was a pretty girl, in a plain sort of way, her black afro neatly twined and her dark skin smooth as silk. Looking up she flinched and her big dark eyes stared at him as if she just noticed a hungry tiger standing in front of her. She even stopped chanting for a second and his skin began to throb with the sun's piercing rays.

"Oh, come on pet, you know you'll never get this bloody amulet if I'm turned to a pile of dust!" He knew he should be grateful that she could keep him alive even in broad daylight, but for some reason she always brought out the worst in him. Maybe because she made him feel vulnerable. He had been around for centuries; eternal life was one of the few perks of being a vampire. But this witch with her magical chanting reminded him that he had died twice and could easily do so again, immortality or not.

Deanna had started chanting again and when she was close enough for the magic to work, the burning sensation disappeared. He knew he had been harsh with her and it was probably not a good idea to get her upset with him, so he used the most charming smile and voice he could manage, trying to smooth things over.

"Hey, I'm sorry luv, but we really need to get there before dark." He threw a sidelong glance at Riley and his men. They had stopped a few paces ahead, waiting for them to catch up. Deanna didn't look at him, just kept chanting and focusing on the ground in front of her, sweat dripping down her face.

"Just leave her alone, Spike. She's doing the best she can. Not all of us have super demon strength, you know." Spike noted with some satisfaction that Xander was up to his usual condescending ways this morning. They had spent over a decade sharing mutual dislike for each other and Spike at least had grown rather fond of their verbal abuse matches. But since Dawn had died nothing had been the same. There just wasn't any fun teasing a man on the verge of breakdown, especially not one he reluctantly thought of as a friend.

He watched Xander with some amusement, as he staggered past him, panting heavily. Xander pushed a big leaf out of his way, just to get it slammed back in his face as he let it go too soon. He stumbled and made a muffled sound, before managing to untangle himself from the vegetation. Spike had to smile. Xander was utterly useless in anything resembling a fight, but he had a heart of gold. There probably wasn't a lost puppy in the world he wouldn't want to save. He envied him. Xander never had to wonder if he was good or evil. He on the other hand never felt quite sure either way. He wanted to be good, but some days were easier than others. And for some reason having a soul didn't help much, if anything it just complicated things.

While Spike was watching Xander have it out with the jungle, Deanna had managed to get far enough ahead of him for the magical shield to fade. The tingle in his skin was back and he had to snap out of his pondering and catch up. When they finally reached Riley and the others, Xander practically fell to the ground in sheer exhaustion, desperately trying to breathe. Riley gave Spike a concerned look.

"Is everything all right?" Spike glanced at Xander and winced. Rolling his eyes he and Riley shared a moment of mutual concern. Neither of them wanted Xander there. He would be no use to them in a fight and he slowed them down almost as much as the witch. At least she was indispensable. But Xander had not taken no for an answer and Angel had insisted they let him come. All he could do was hope that the guy didn't get himself killed. Angel was sure to find a way to blame him for that and then he would never hear the end of it.

Riley handed Deanna some water, as she had already finished her own. She smiled warmly at him and accepted it gracefully. She may not have liked Spike much but she liked Riley. Well, all women liked Riley and the fact that he was supposedly happily married with two kids and a third one on the way didn't seem to make him less attractive. Probably because he had that good guy, save ladies in distress, super hero look about him. Spike could never figure out how he did it, but he didn't mind. He liked Riley too, in a manly sort of way. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone of course but Buffy did have good taste in men, well for the most part anyway. Most of the guys she'd been with had turned out to save the planet at least once. Not that there had been that many, or that any of them had had a chance against Angel. Their eternally doomed Romeo and Juliet thing was getting a bit old. Still, she had a way of making a guy want to be the best he could be and more. That's why they were all there, walking into God knows what, looking for some of the most hard to kill demons on the planet with the intention of stealing their precious amulet from under their very noses. No worries, they'd be done in no time...

Xander wiped away the sweat from his forehead. His legs were shaking, his head was throbbing and his eye-patch was itching like crazy. He knew he shouldn't be here. He was slowing them down. But he had to do something. He had to try. If Buffy wasn't going to stop this, they had to. Save the world one more time. It seemed that that was all they ever did. He wasn't sure why anymore, but he knew it had to be done. He pushed himself up, steadying himself against a tree for a moment. Hoping his voice would hold, he took a deep breath,

"Come on now, those demons won't kill themselves." He started walking again, despite every muscle in his body told him, actually screamed at him to stop. He could feel the others watching him, but he didn't care. He felt bad for Deanna though, this was probably worse for her. For some reason she was absolutely terrified of Spike. It was a bit strange, her being that scared of a vampire. She had surely faced worse. Growing up in the rougher parts of New Orleans, she would have had to deal with poverty, violence and drugs as well as voodoo and zombies ever since she was a kid. One would think someone who survived that, plus losing her parents at the age of ten, shouldn't scare easy and most of the time she was braver than most women he had met. But there was something about Spike that made her chocolate colored skin actually seem paler and her big black eyes flicker with the fear of a hunted pray. There had been a few times he had thought of asking, but she was always very private and it really wasn't any of his business. He had stuck his nose in too often not to have learnt something by know.

Then again he was certainly no fan of Spike either. It might have been the whole Spike doing his girlfriend-thing, but he couldn't stand the guy. It didn't matter how many times the ensouled vampire saved his life. The image of Spike and Anya on that table was etched into his memory forever. He thought of her a lot more now, ever since Dawn... He was beginning to wonder if Anya had been it for him. Maybe that was the only true happiness he would get in this life and he had done a good job of mucking that up. Everyone he loved always died on him. It was starting to get really hard to keep up the positive attitude. But he didn't want anyone to know just how much he was hurting. It wasn't fair on them. All his friends had problems of their own, they didn't need him to add to their burdens.

"Xander!" It took a few seconds before Riley's voice penetrated his thoughts and he stopped and turned, annoyed that they weren't going faster. He didn't bother to hide the irritation in his voice when he answered,

"What?" Riley was looking at him with such sympathy that it made his skin crawl. Spike on the other hand looked more amused than anything else.

"You're going in the wrong direction." Riley didn't sound accusing, just concerned. Xander sighed heavily. It was his destiny it seemed, to always go in the wrong direction. Riley and the others started walking again, and Xander had to hurry to catch up. Deanna gave him a look of understanding, but she quickly resumed her focus on the ground in front of her. Clearly she was even more afraid of falling than he was.

Riley had brought three of his best men on this mission and he would trust each of them with his life. They had all been to hell and back together, more than once. Still he had to admit this was no ordinary mission. The information they had managed to gather on these Taraga demons was sketchy at best but all the facts pointed to the possibility that they had become chameleons, able to hide in any environment without being seen with the naked eye. Presumably they were also similar to reptiles in the sense that they were cold-blooded which meant that any heat-seeking equipment would be useless. To make matters worse, allegedly the only way to kill them was to rip their hearts out, if you could find it. Riley kept a close eye on the detection device hanging from his belt. It would give off a sound if there were demons near by but unfortunately it wouldn't tell him where. They would have to fight blind and he really wasn't too happy about it. He glanced back over his shoulder to make sure Spike wasn't too far behind. He had never been all that comfortable around Spike. As far as he was concerned Spike would always be Hostile 17, a particularly dangerous demon who had terrorized mankind for centuries. But he had to admit he was glad to have him along this time. He would have been even happier if Angel had been there too but whatever it was that wanted to destroy the earth this time, it was a lot smarter than anything they had ever faced before. It had effectively disabled the slayer, distracted not just Angel and his team but Riley and the government as well. In retrospect it all seemed a little too easy. It had taken them all far to long to understand just how close they were to losing this war.

A faint buzz broke the silence. Riley and his men froze, grabbed their weapons and held their breath. Demons were close by. Spike had already pushed Deanna into a bush next to him and was now intently watching the jungle to the north. Riley knew better than to doubt Spike's vampire senses so they all focused their attention in that direction. The only one that was completely unaware of the danger was Xander who was just catching up, panting heavily.

"Hey, what's going on, guys? Why are we stopping?" They didn't have time to answer him. A loud thump was all they heard and a second later Xander was flying through the air like a discarded doll. The large tree trunk coming at him was the last thing he would see for a while.

Riley saw no demon but then again he hadn't expected to. Unfortunately he didn't even see any kind of shift or silhouette. He literally saw nothing. Spike was grabbing something though, but seconds later he too was hurled against a tree. The Taraga demons were clearly stronger than they had anticipated. Riley and his men formed a circle, making sure no demon could attack from behind. Then, when Spike was on his feet again, they released the smoke, hoping it would show them where the demons were. For some reason it didn't work. The only thing they could see was the contours of the jungle. Riley then ordered plan B and they all fired their stun guns in every direction at once. The lightning beams shot through the trees and scorched the ground but there was no indication that any demon was hit. After a few minutes they let up and Riley checked his detection device. The demons were still there. Spike came out from behind the tree trunk and shook his head. That wasn't going to work. Riley lowered his gun and held his breath, listening to any sound that would give the demons away. There was nothing, complete silence except for Deanna's chanting from deep within her hiding place. Her voice almost cracked with fear but she kept going.

They stood in silence for a while, waiting for the demons to make a move. But this was their home-court, they had all the advantages. And they had time on their side. It would be dark soon and apart from giving Spike a better chance it would all but cripple Riley's team. Night-goggles where useless in close combat. Then he heard something, a faint noise that made the hair on his arms stand up. He forced himself to breathe calmly. He had been in worse situations than this. Slowly he pulled out his knife. He knew the approximate size of these things, all he had to do was estimate how high the heart was and aim his knife in that general area. Suddenly he felt it, the strong stench of rutting meat. It came in puffs from somewhere just above him as if something was breathing down on him. He reacted on instinct. Thrusting his knife out hard and fast he could feel it penetrate soft tissue, but that was the last thing he recalled before he was hoisted up into the air at least ten feet high. Seconds later he blacked out as his head hit the ground.

Spike had watched closely as Riley went into close combat with this thing. He was pretty sure there were just two of them and just as Riley was thrown to the side the other creature went after the other three men and tossed them aside too, as if they were nothing more than puppets. Spike knew he had only seconds to act. Tensing every muscle in his body he launched in the direction of Riley's attacker. Sensing the creature being close he hit his fist as hard as he could and it went through the creatures flesh. He could fell it breathing down on him and its sharp claws grabbed his arms and legs. He would be on the ground soon and if he couldn't find the heart the creature would certainly rip him apart. In the background he could hear the men scream in pain, as the other demon attacked them. But he refused to let his own pain bother him as the creature's claws pierced his flesh. He kept searching inside the creature's slimy interior and just as the creature was about to let him fall to the ground he felt it, the soft pulsating heart of the beast. When he fell he took the heart with him and the creature made a startled sound as it collapsed onto the ground with a loud thud. The cloaking mechanism faded and it was revealed in all its hideousness; greenish, scaled like a snake and with a face dominated by large, black eyes and a mouth with too many teeth to count.

Spike could smell the other demon coming at him fast as he struggled to get up. The demons claws slashed his back as he hurled himself out of the way. Unfortunately he wound up in the wrong direction. The burning sensation in his skin soon overwhelmed any other pain and he had no choice but to run as fast as he could towards the bush where Deanna was hiding. Then bang! He ran straight into the demon and as the burning went away it was replaced by the very uncomfortable claws around his throat. The grip was very strong, strong enough to rip his head off without a problem. But apparently the demon wanted to have some fun first. It kept Spike dangling in his grip, three feet off the ground. It was a good thing vampires didn't need air. Then to Spike's amazement, as he struggled to get his fist into the creatures body, the burning sensation was back. Seconds later a ball of fire flew out of the bush and hit the demon. He staggered a bit, then let go of Spike. As he fell hard to the ground, Spike saw his chance and immediately leapt up again, punched his fist as hard as he could through the creatures flesh, grabbed the heart immediately this time since he now knew where to find it, and watched the creature fall to the ground.

Spike stood still for a moment and smelled the air around him. When he was convinced the demons were gone he leaned down and pulled the leaves out of the way. Deanna was chanting again, focusing on it intently. She tried not to look at him but he could see she had been crying. He smiled at her as she threw him a glance of absolute terror. He always respected people who could get the job done despite being scared shitless. He offered her his hand but she firmly shook her head. She wasn't coming out any time soon. Spike nodded gently then put the leaves back over her. There was no rush, they weren't going anywhere for a while.

Riley tried to sit up but his head was spinning so hard he let himself lean back down again.

"What happened?" he asked when he noticed Spike standing with his back to him. But the vampire didn't answer, he just stood there silent, motionless, looking intently in the direction of the temple were the amulet was. Riley clenched his teeth and forced himself to sit up. He quickly noticed he wasn't the only one that had been hurt. Xander was still unconscious, Deanna was helping Don dress a bad cut in his chest, Terry had clearly broken his arm and Jack was trying to stop the bleeding from his head. Two demons lay dead on the ground, apparently Spike had been busy. But considering how much damage two demons had done, how could they possible tackle the entire clan? There was no telling how many there were but it was definitely more than two. Riley groaned in pain as he pushed himself off the ground. He swayed a bit on his feet but to his satisfaction his legs held up. Apparently there was nothing broken, except his ego. Xander stirred and Deanna went over to him.

"Where am I? What's going on?" he asked, still groggy from the head trauma. Since Deanna couldn't answer without ending her chanting, Riley gave him the quick update. When he was done, Xander looked in Spike's direction and grunted a bit sullenly, "So Spike saves the day again, huh. Maybe the rest of us should just go home and leave mister super hero to get the amulet alone." Spike didn't move and Riley went up to check on him. When he put a hand on his shoulder, the vampire actually flinched. Riley smiled, trying to soothe him a bit.

"Any other demons around by we need to worry about?" Spike hesitated, still looking north, or rather sensing something in that direction. "What is it?" Riley prodded carefully. After several seconds of silence, Spike's voice almost cracked with emotion when he answered.

"She's here." Riley stared at him. He almost didn't dare to ask.

"Who's here?" Spike's reply came simply, without hesitation.

"Buffy."


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Buffy quietly scanned the location. The cave was fairly large but the tall Taraga demons still looked a bit cramped as they huddled together in small groups along the cave-walls. Some of them were apparently having dinner, leaning over a bloody carcass of some animal, ripping it apart with their claw-like hands. The chameleon protection was never used inside the cave so it was easy to keep track of them. There were at least twenty-five demons, as far as she could see. But there could be more outside. Every once in a while a demon would step in seemingly from nowhere as the chameleon protection vanished the minute they stepped through the entrance.

At the center of the cave, just to her right, there was a crude stone carving that looked like some cartoon version of a spider. Its large fangs were sticking out at least a couple of inches from the wall and in its forehead, right between the eyes, sat the amulet she had come for. Beneath the carving was a large stone altar with giant steps leading up to it. Around the altar were, as one might expect, large piles of skulls. Some where human but she thought she recognized a few demon skulls too. Apparently these guys didn't like visitors of any kind. But they really weren't the smartest of demons, as big and strong as they may be. They had the entrance to the cave extremely well guarded with at least five demons standing watch, but the side entrance was completely unprotected. Then again, they might not even know there was a crack at the top of the cave. They were way too big to get up there to check. Buffy on the other hand had no problems maneuvering the small ledges in the cave wall, high above the heads of the demons.

She carefully free-climbed down so she could reach the carved stone spider. With a little luck they might not notice it was missing until she was gone. As quietly as she could manage she leaned down, holding herself up with one hand, using the other to grab the amulet. Just as she thought she had it, a loud noise shook the cave and she dropped the amulet on to the altar below. She looked up and sure enough, three very angry demons where coming at her at full speed. She should have known better than to trust luck! With great suppleness she lowered herself down on the altar, grabbed the amulet and tucked it into one of the many pockets of her green army pants. She picked up one of the skulls that looked like it had once belonged to a tiger. She aimed and threw it as hard as she could. It hit one of the demons right in the head, chattering completely on impact. The demon reeled back with a weird gurgling sound and she threw a couple of more skulls at the rest of the demons that were trying to get up the stairs. When she was satisfied that she had stalled them sufficiently she started climbing back up where she had come from. A sharp pain along her left leg told her that one of the demons had reached her but she didn't let it slow her down. Soon she was safe up on the ledge where she had started. She turned around and saw them all staring at her from below. They all stood absolutely still, as if not sure what to do. She checked the deep cut along her calf. She knew it should hurt a lot but lately she didn't really feel pain the way she used to. She stood up, preparing to lift herself through the crack in the wall and out of the cave, but before she did she smiled down at the demons and said as cheerfully as she could manage,

"It's been nice meeting you all. We should really do this again soon." She waived at them, beauty-queen style before she vanished. She could hear them making their weird noises in return and she never thought for a second that she would get away this easily but one step at the time. At least she had the amulet.

The sun was setting and any other time she might have enjoyed the amazing scenery around her. But now she had to get down fast and retreat into the jungle before the demons figured out where she was. When she reached the ground she started running but after a few seconds she stopped and closed her eyes. She could sense them but she couldn't be sure exactly where they were. Her slayer instincts told her that at least one was coming straight at her and she could only assume there were quite a few coming from behind. She started running again, changing her direction, hoping the demon wouldn't bother to chase her. She was just about to duck in behind a large tree-trunk, when she suddenly felt something grabbing her throat. A claw-like hand lifted her up from the ground, leaving her grasping for air and thrashing around like a fish on land.

As her brain slowly ran out of air, a strange sense of joy overcame her. If she died it meant no more pain, no more fighting. Maybe she could finally find some peace. Seconds later she remembered the amulet in her pocket. If she died now everyone else would die too. They needed that amulet. With the last ounce of strength she took hold of the demons arm and started to twist it until the demon grunted in pain and released his grip. She fell to the ground gasping for air, trying to mount enough energy to run. But before she could pull herself up, the demon hurled her head first into a tree. She blacked out for a second, long enough for the demon to grab her again. More out of instinct than conscious thought, she pulled a knife out of her pocket and thrust it into his flesh, desperately trying to find the heart. The demon lifted her up again, this time clearly determined to break something vital. The knife slipped from her fingers as the slimy intestines made it hard for her to hold on to anything. She braced herself for impact but suddenly she heard a familiar voice.

"Hey, big guy! Why don't you pick on someone your own size for a change?" Catching the demon off guard it took Spike only a few seconds to rip its heart out and Buffy tumbled to the ground on top of the now visible demon.

She slowly lifted her head to look up at Spike. It was hard to read his face in the shadows of the twilight but she could sense him looking at her intently. A part of her was really glad to see him, but it also meant a flood of painful memories. Quietly he offered her his hand and she accepted it gratefully. She pulled herself up awkwardly from the mass of demon, the yellowish slim still oozing from its wound. Looking at it she couldn't help but wrinkle her nose a little.

"That is one ugly demon." she said mostly to herself, as she tried unsuccessfully to wipe off some of the slime from her not so white top. To her surprise Spike erupted with laughter, a little more loudly perhaps than the comment warranted but considering the emotional tension between them laughter was a welcome relief. She began to laugh as well, almost falling over with pain. Spike was also pressing his hand against his ribs, clearly he had been beaten up pretty badly too. But despite the pain it felt good to laugh. She couldn't remember the last time she had done that.

As the laughter subsided she suddenly realized how much she had missed him. She put a gentle hand on his arm.

"I'm really glad your here." she said, smiling warmly. He looked a little abashed but his voice never wavered when he answered,

"Me too." He gently removed a leaf caught in her hair, saying half questioningly, "It's short." Then, meeting her eyes, he added simply, "I like it." She smiled wearily. Her long locks had been the first thing she had changed after she had left Washington. It had been a part of who she used to be. She watched Spike almost consume her sent and presence so close to him and felt the sadness take hold of her again. Memories flooded her mind, images of all that had been lost. She had to look away, taking a deep breath. Just then he flinched, focusing on something unseen behind her.

"Run." was all he said and all she needed to hear. They both set off through the jungle, ignoring all aches and pains, transforming all their super-strength into speed, running for their lives.

Xander was fighting the intense urge to scratch behind the eye-patch. His doctor had given him strict instructions not to, but in this moist heat it was almost impossible to resist. He had always felt rather proud of his war wound. It had given him a sense of being a part of something more, something bigger. And he had never blamed Buffy, even though it was her miscalculation of their enemy that had rendered him without one eye. But lately he had started to wonder if it wasn't just another proof of his own incompetence. He was fairly good at managing the office back in Washington. He could sign paychecks and decide who got promoted and who didn't. But whenever he tried to fight evil he always wound up needing rescuing. Now every part of his body was burning with pain and exhaustion and he had to struggle desperately just to keep up. Spike had run off as soon as the sun had set far enough for the rays not to hurt him. Deanna had been so relieved to see him vanish behind the trees she almost cried. But all Xander could think was how vulnerable they were now. As much as he hated to admit it, they would have been dead without the vampire there. But Spike had been right, if Buffy really was here she would probably need help. And for Buffy, Spike would run like the wind with both legs broken if he had to.

Suddenly there were some movements in the bushes in front of them and Riley motioned to everyone to dive for cover. Xander scrambled behind a strange plant with really large leaves, and it took a few seconds before he realized he wasn't alone. A small, green lizard with strange red eyes was on the prowl and he wasn't too happy with Xander's intrusion. They glared at each other for a while, before the lizard gave up and stalked off. Xander turned his attention in the direction of the noise and soon he could see Spike and Buffy making their way through the trees and bushes at a quick trot. Riley was already going up to meet them but Xander found himself unable to move. He had spent many hours during the past seven months thinking of things he wanted to say to Buffy, but now he couldn't remember a single word. He suddenly realized he was crying and quickly dried off his tears but they kept coming. Riley was pointing in his direction and Xander clenched his fist so hard his nails almost pierced his skin. He took a deep breath, determined not to be emotional. There was no way he would cry in front of Spike. He slowly rose from his hiding place and walked up to the others. Buffy watched him, her eyes locked intently on his face as if she could read his mind. He opened his mouth to ask if she had the amulet but before he got a word out Buffy had put her arms around him. At that point there was nothing he could do but break down and cry. To his relief she was crying too.

After the emotional reunion with Xander Buffy felt like she might collapse at any moment. The amulet in her pocket felt like a ton of bricks, her head was throbbing and every inch of her body ached. She and Spike had probably escaped their pursuers by now and they all agreed they needed a few minutes to rest. She sat down carefully on a large root sticking up out of the ground. It wasn't exactly comfortable but better than running through a dense jungle. The others took their seat wherever they could. Spike sat down as close to Buffy as he dared. She would have smiled, had she not been so tired. Xander had placed himself protectively between Spike and Deanna, even though he didn't seem to notice. For some reason he was glaring angrily at a lizard that was swaying back and forth on a branch next to him. Riley was talking about the plane they had waiting by the river and she had to force herself to pay attention.

"So how long would it take us to get there?" she said hoping he wouldn't notice how tired she felt.

"Maybe an hour, if we move fast." Riley's voice trailed off as he noticed Xander's curious staring match with the lizard.

"An hour is too long. They'll have caught up to us by then." She sighed deeply, realizing no one was paying attention as they all had their focus on Xander. "Oh, for heaven sake Xander, leave the poor lizard alone! He won't hurt you." Xander gave her a startled look as if he hadn't been aware he was staring at it. Spike laughed and blew out a large puff of smoke from his cigarette.

"Let him have his fun, Buffy. That lizard is probably the only thing he stands a chance against!"

"Spike, be nice!" her voice sounded stern but she smiled when she said it. Xander just looked sullen. Spike put out his cigarette and stood up.

"Well, you all better be off then. We don't have much time, as you pointed out." she looked at him suspiciously.

"What I said was we'd never be able to outrun them in an hour. They can see a lot better in the dark than we can and it's going to be pitch-dark soon. We need to find a place to hide." Spike shook his head firmly.

"No Buffy, you don't have time to hide from these bloody things. You need to get that amulet to Willow and she won't be happy if you dawdle. No worries, I'll keep our friends busy. You just get your butt on that plane." They all stared at him. There was no doubt he meant it and as stunned as they all were, neither of them could think of a flaw in his reasoning. In the end it was Xander who said what they were all thinking.

"They'll kill you."

"Those big lumps, kill me? No bloody way I'd let that happen!" He smiled confidently, but there was considerable sadness in his eyes. "It'll take a lot more than some ugly stinker to get rid of me." He shifted his stance, getting a bit uncomfortable with them all staring at him. "Go on then." he said looking straight into her eyes, "Go do what you do. I'll be right behind you." She hesitated for a moment then slowly rose. She nodded regretfully, leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"Take care, Spike." That was all she said before she motioned to the others to get ready to leave. Riley also nodded with approval at Spike's sacrifice and shook his hand warmly. The other guys did the same, and even Deanna almost gave him a faint smile. Xander just glared at him.

"You know, I think you're just doing this so I can't hate you."

"Yap, that's exactly why I do it." Xander smiled a little.

"I'm gonna hate you anyway." he said firmly. The last thing they heard was Spike laughing as they all left him to fight a pack of angry Taraga demons alone.

The plane was making some coughing noises and she gave Riley a hard stare. This machine better not break down on them now. They could already hear the demons crashing through the jungle behind them. They would be here any minute. Xander and Deanna had collapsed in a pile on the floor, too exhausted to think about anything but the joy of sitting down. Suddenly in the faint light of the moon she saw Spike coming out from the trees at a dead run, heading for the plane. Behind him she could see something large stampeding through the trees, like an invisible tidal wave thundering towards them. The engines suddenly spluttered and began to roar and the plane started to move down the river. By now Riley had also noticed Spike and made a move towards the cockpit. She put a firm hand on his arm and shook her head. The demons were right behind him, if they stopped now they might all die. The mission is what matters. Spike new that. But as the plane picked up speed so did Spike. Just as the plane took off he hurled himself at it with the last bit of strength in him, grabbing on to the plane's large white floats in the last possible moment. The plane wobbled a bit but the pilot quickly straightened it. Riley held on to her as she leaned down to pull Spike in. He had no energy left so she literally had to hold his dead weight and every time the plane swirled a little she was sure she would lose him. But after what seemed like an eternity she finally pulled him inside.

They all gasped in horror when they saw him clearly. He had so many cuts that his entire body looked like it had been bathed in blood and his face was so swollen you could barely make out his eyes from the rest. But still he managed what was probably supposed to be a smile and looking at Buffy he whispered,

"I told you I'd get here." She smiled and nodded with tears streaming down her face, then gently caressed his bruised forehead as he drifted out of consciousness.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The witches' coven was located in Austria, near the Hungarian border. It had been an active coven for almost a thousand years, hiding behind the disguise of a nunnery. Its large stone buildings had served as protection from several wars and the fertile soil surrounding it had made the women here almost completely self-sufficient. The fresh air, the breathtaking view of the Alps in the distance and the lush green hills surrounding them made this one of the most magical places Willow had ever seen. But today not even this beauty could ease the sadness in her. The past few hours had been hard and she knew it was about to get a lot worse. She looked up at the sky, now shifting into the golden shades of the sunset. It would be dark soon. It was just as well. This was the kind of thing that seemed to be best suited for darkness.

A gust of wind reminded her of the chill in the air and she pulled her sturdy, brown cloak a little closer. She could have waited inside, but she needed the air, needed time to herself. In the distance she could see them now, the cars looking like little toys. She took a deep breath. They would be here soon. There was a part of her that wished Buffy wouldn't be in one of those cars. She missed her friend terribly but the thought of having to tell her what was to come almost made her nauseous. Buffy had been through so much lately and now this. She started pacing, getting more and more nervous as the cars inevitably came closer. She stopped, annoyed with herself. This was not how she was supposed to handle these things. She had to be strong, for Buffy and for the world. They had a job to do, even Angel knew that. She closed her eyes, opened her mind and let herself be filled by the powers of the earth and sky. When she opened her eyes again, the cars were pulling up to the courtyard. It was time.

Riley was the first one to get out of the car followed by three men she didn't know. He approached her with his usual, gracious smile and they hugged warmly. When she turned to show him inside she noticed Fridha who was standing quietly by the door. Fridha had been at the coven longer than anyone else and even though her powers where substantially weaker than Willow's she had a way of making everyone feel like her grand-children. No one knew how old she was but she had come from Iceland to Europe some time before World War one, to help in the tumultuous times ahead, as she had put it. She had the power of foresight and although she rarely shared her visions she was considered an important member of the coven. Now she greeted Riley the way a grandmother would greet her grandson and quickly ushered them all into the hall.

Xander looked a little dazed as he stumbled out of the car behind them. Willow couldn't help but laugh. Some things never changed and no matter how often he visited her here he always looked like a fish out of water. But that's the way it should be. He was her link to a world without magic, a necessary balance to keep her from losing herself again. He straightened with considerable effort and looked around.

"So, I see the old prison is still standing." he said sarcastically and smiled a little. He never liked it here and always made sure she knew it. But this time there was a pain in his eyes that had nothing to do with the building. She had hoped it would have faded by now, but it was there as strong as it had been at the funeral. They hugged for a long time, neither of them wanting to let go. When the other car pulled up, she let him go with considerable regret, bracing herself to meet Buffy. A large part of practicing magic was self-control and she had gained a lot of that since she got here. But as Buffy gracefully climbed out of the car she had to summon all her strength not to run over there and throw herself around her neck. The knot in her stomach that she had been able to ignore for a while with some magical help now came back with a vengeance, hitting her so hard she almost fell. Xander gave her a surprised look that soon changed to fear. He had an annoying habit of guessing her thoughts so she quickly turned away from him and forced herself to calmly go and greet Buffy.

Buffy watched as Willow approached. Her friend was wearing the customary clothing as usual; a plain, full length wool dress in a strange light-gray color with a simple rope around her waist and a remarkably ugly brown coat that looked like something a homeless person would reject. All the women here wore the same type of dress, only in different shades of gray, which apparently had something to do with the hierarchy of power. According to Willow the dress-code was a necessary part of maintaining the illusion that they were a nunnery. But it still made her feel uneasy. She had never been comfortable here and most of what they were doing she couldn't even begin to understand. But it was Willow's world and she trusted her. Willow had matured a great deal since they left Sunnydale. The awkward, uncertain, slightly geeky young girl that had left the wreckage of their hometown was long gone. She had grown into an extremely powerful witch, respected not just in their dimension but several others as well.

She went to meet Willow and the two friends hugged but she immediately felt that Willow was hiding something. She tried to make eye-contact but Willow avoided her. A cold lump of ice formed in her stomach and her mind began to race with all kinds of terrible scenarios that her friend might want to keep from her. As much as she trusted Willow as a friend she knew that their friendship came in second after her mission here at the coven. But she kept up appearances, as grown-ups do, making small talk and exchanging pleasantries. Willow inquired how the trip was and if anyone had been hurt and Buffy told her about Spike. It was almost a relief to shift their focus from each other to Spike who was just getting out of the car. His face was still so swollen his features were indistinguishable and even though he had a new shirt on it was full of spots of tried blood. Willow turned towards the front door to get him some help but an old woman wearing an almost black dress had already summoned the healers and they where coming down to help him. Deanna looked like a trapped animal as she emerged behind him still chanting. But as soon as she saw Willow she relaxed considerably and although their greeting more resembled that of a soldier greeting a general, there was clearly a lot of mutual trust between them. She found herself almost envying Deanna. As much as she loved Willow, everything between them was always so incredibly complicated these days.

Buffy was almost glad when Willow had left her and Xander alone in one of the large greeting rooms of the castle, while she tended to Spike and the others. It was a plainly decorated room, sparsely furnished, with beautiful tapestries covering every inch of the stone wall, keeping out the cold. The large fire-place gave plenty of warmth and together with the hundreds of candles that stood everywhere there was a soft, almost magical light in the room.

Xander had quickly made himself comfortable on a large couch, happily chewing his way through one of the hefty sandwiches a stern looking woman had placed on the table, along with a large pitcher of warm wine. She however wasn't hungry. She couldn't even sit still. Instead she paced restlessly in front of the fire-place. It hadn't taken her long to notice the tingle in the back of her mind. Angel was here. As messy as their relationship was, it would take a lot for him not to greet her. Combined with Willow's obvious concern, her mind was racing with horrifying possibilities. When the massive door slowly opened her heart nearly jumped out of her chest. But it wasn't Angel. Xander put down his second sandwich and leapt up from the couch to greet his old friend.

"Hey, there you are!" Turning to Buffy he noted cheerfully, "Look, Giles is here!" It was clear he believed everything would turn out just fine now that Giles was there.

Xander gave Giles a big hug, almost crushing the man. Giles hugged him back, returning Xander's affections, but his eyes were locked on Buffy. If Willow had at least tried to hide her feelings of despair, Giles didn't bother. His eyes revealed so much sadness and pain it practically took her breath away. Her knees threatened to give out on her so she sat down on one of the large armchairs, focusing her attention on the fire. Giles walked up to her, kneeled and put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry…" he said with a voice overflowing with love and compassion, then he hesitated a second before adding, "…about Dawn." She could have hit him. To pretend that any of this had anything to do with Dawn was insulting and cruel.

"What's going on?" she said with a lot more anger in her voice than she had planned. Pain passed over Giles' face as he slowly rose and turned from her, staring into the fire.

"Catherine will explain everything soon." She immediately regretted letting her anger get the best of her. Right now all she wanted was for him to put his arms around her and tell her everything was going to be all right. But she didn't move.

After a few very slow minutes there was a knock on the door and a young girl walked in. She wore a dark gray dress, a sign that she stood rather low in the power but she looked as serene as if there was no evil in the world at all. Even her voice seemed completely without fear, a stark contrast to the tense atmosphere in the room.

"The High Priestess will see you now. If you would follow me please." she said calmly then, without waiting for a reply, simply turned and left the room.

Xander realized he had been holding his breath. The scene between Buffy and Giles had terrified him and watching them now, quietly following the girl through gloomy hallways, his heart was racing a million miles an hour. He hadn't noticed it before, but Dawn's death had clearly built a wall between them all. Now there was a threat on the horizon, possibly the worst threat they had ever faced and they were more divided than ever. Had the demon already won?

They finally arrived at the chamber of the High Priestess and the girl knocked firmly then opened the door to let them in. It was dim inside, the only light emanating from the large fire and several candles along the walls. At the far end of the room was a massive oak table with ten chairs. At the head of table the High Priestess Catherine Romanov was sitting on a throne-like chair, watching them closely as they came in. She was a beautiful woman, her age more visible in her eyes than on her face. It was a little unclear just how old she was but she had been around during the Russian Revolution, so she was at least a hundred. She had a slender body and elegant but pale features and her posture was regal. Even though her white dress was as plain as the other women's, she made it look like a bejewelled ball gown. Her long, thick, chestnut brown hair was neatly folded into a simple braid that rested along her chest.

Next to the High Priestess, Willow seemed more like the eager servant looking up at her mistress, than the powerful witch she was at any other time. She gave Xander a small comforting smile but it didn't really make him feel particularly comforted. He didn't like anyone who made his friend look that small. Spike didn't like the High Priestess either, but his motives for disliking her were a little vaguer. Tonight he had placed himself as far from the women as he could get, at the other end of the table. He looked a lot better than when they last saw him, though. The swelling had subsided and his cuts and bruises were completely healed. But for some reason he was shooting murderous glares at the High Priestess. She on the other hand didn't even seem to be aware that he was there.

It wasn't until they had made it half way across the room that Xander noticed Angel. He was practically hidden inside one of the two huge chairs that were placed in front of the fireplace. Xander hesitated. His instinct was to go and greet him as the friend he considered him to be. Angel was the only one Xander had shared his feelings about Dawn with. But tonight something was very wrong. Buffy barely gave Angel a glance as she calmly walked up to the table and sat down with her back to him. And Angel just sat there as if carved in stone, his face utterly unreadable. Then he noticed Kaya. She was huddled up on the floor with a vacant expression on her face, her eyes red and her cheeks streaked with tears. He stared at her. Kaya had always seemed so indestructible, despite her delicate features, but seeing her now she seemed broken. He was still staring at her when the voice of the High Priestess cut through the silence.

"I'm glad to see you all made it back safe. The retrieval of the amulet was an important step in defeating Dacq'ilion and we couldn't have done it without your help." She gave Buffy a smile that could be interpreted as either condescending or compassionate depending on your mood. Buffy was in no mood to play nice. Her voice was as dry as sand when she replied,

"I'm glad you approve. You have to excuse my curiosity but what exactly would the next step be?" The High Priestess looked at her like a scientist looking at a specimen under a microscope.

"As soon as we have established the location of the passage into the demon-dimension we will send our bravest warrior inside to vanquish him." The silence was palpable. There was no doubt who she wanted this warrior to be and even Spike looked a little paler than usual. But Buffy's voice was strangely calm as she kept meeting Catherine's gaze without flinching.

"Vanquish him how?"

"With a potion."

"You really believe you can kill one of the world's most powerful demons with a potion?"

"Considering the source, yes."

"Source?"

"It was given to me by the Powers That Be, they're as eager to stop this as we are."

"And how will this potion get to Dacq'ilion? He has summoned a great deal of demons to defend him, if I'm not mistaken."

"Yes, he has. But the potion doesn't have to be in the same room as Dacq'ilion, simply in the same dimension. In fact it will kill all demons in that dimension."'

"So how do I get in?" Buffy still hadn't looked away but now Catherine did. She gave Willow an unreadable look then turned back to Buffy.

"You don't, dear child. This is Angel's fight." There was a hint of true regret in her voice, as if she for a moment actually understood the turmoil that must have raged in the Slayer's mind. Buffy's face however gave away nothing. Xander, on the other hand, couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Have you all lost your mind?" He stared at Willow in bewilderment. "Will, you can't be serious? You're really going to sacrifice Angel? Just let him die like that? I mean that is what we're talking about here isn't it? The potion will kill every demon, including Angel?" Giles put a hand on his arm to silence him and he stared at his old friends in shock. Was this what they had come to? Willow was starting to look a bit nauseous but she ignored him and went on explaining, speaking very rapidly,

"I'm sorry, Buffy, but only a demon can pass through this gate. And only a demon would be allowed to take on the Challenge of the Twilight and he has to win the Challenge in order to get inside the dimension. Only then will the potion have effect. I am so sorry Buffy but Angel is the only one who can do this! I really wish there was another way, but I promise you we have thought of every other possibility and this is the only thing that stands a chance of working." Willow inhaled quickly, suddenly realizing she had been holding her breath. Buffy just looked at her, calm as the dead. Instead it was Spike's turn to break the silence.

"Bloody hell! If a demon is all you need, I'll go. I'll do this bloody challenge thing and toast those demons. Angel can do a lot more good here than I can. I should be the one to go." The High Priestess actually winced, then gave him a rather cold smile.

"That's very nice of you to offer, dear but the Challenge isn't as easy as a few Taraga demons. Besides Angel has already been invited and it is doubtful they will let anyone in without an invitation, demon or not."

"What do you mean he got invited?" Spike looked at her suspiciously.

"The demon he hunted in New York this week told him last night that he was expected. Well actually the invitation was addressed to Angelus but since they reside in the same body Angel should have no problem getting in by posing as Angelus." The High Priestess hesitated for a moment. When she continued she was speaking directly at Buffy. "I am aware it is a risk and it might fail. So we need a second front. The Slayer still has an important part to play here." Buffy wasn't looking at anything, her eyes glazed over, lost in her own thoughts. Xander, however, was so angry he could hardly think. He had just lost Dawn and now he was suppose to accept losing one of his closest friends. He was shaking all over and even though he wasn't sure his legs would hold him he had to get out of there.

"This is crazy!" he spat, giving Willow a hard stare, "I can't listen to this anymore!" Then he angrily stomped out of the room.

Angel quietly knocked on the door. His hand felt like it weighed a ton and everything around him was vague and blurred, as if he was dreaming. He wished he was. There was no noise from inside so he slowly opened the door. Buffy was standing with her back to him, staring absentmindedly into the flames. She didn't seem aware of his presence so he took a few steps closer, but as he reached out for her she flinched and pulled away. He clenched his fist, trying hard not to scream as the pain tore through him. When she turned their eyes met and for a moment he was back fifteen odd years ago when he still could hold her without excruciating pain or mind-numbing fear. He wanted to put his arms around her and hold her tight but he knew that would only make it worse. He wanted to tell her how he felt, how much he loved her but no words would be enough. So they just stood there, looking at each other, knowing this might be the last time they were alone together. A tear made its way down her cheek and he couldn't bear it any longer. He opened his mouth, not sure what words would come out but she quickly lifted her hand to stop him and shook her head. Her eyes said all that needed saying. She understood. This was inevitable. They were never meant to be. He nodded, letting her know he understood too. They barely moved for what felt like an eternity, struggling to endure the pain, immersed in each others love, saying a silent goodbye. Then he slowly turned around and walked away.

Buffy watched him leave and as he closed the door behind him she heaved a sigh of relief. Having him so close, knowing she would soon lose him for good, was more painful than she had thought possible. But somehow it all made sense. Their Romeo and Juliet saga would finally have its traditional ending. She had been a Slayer longer than any other and lately Spike's stories about the two slayers he had killed tugged at her memory. He had been sure the only reason he had been able to defeat them was because they wanted to die. It hadn't made any sense to her, not until now. She would watch Angel die, again. Then she would die too at the hands of one of the many demons they were sure to face soon after. With her gone a new Slayer could be called and the wheel would continue to turn for all eternity and she would finally find peace. She breathed deeply, feeling strangely at ease. Turning to the bed she climbed up on the high mattress with some effort and then, with a deep sigh, allowed her exhausted body to rest. Drifting into a restless slumber she didn't notice the tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It was an extraordinary sight; eight military choppers flying low over the vast sand-dunes, thundering towards some unclear goal. But deep in Sahara, the endless, barren desert of Northern Africa, there was no one around to impress. This was a place most humans would avoid at all cost; deadly heat, no water for miles, no life, no landmarks, no colors except the color of sand and the azure blue sky. It was easy to go insane here and even easier to get lost. If it wasn't for sophisticated GPS equipment they would be going nowhere, but with state of the art technology the pilots in these choppers knew exactly where they were going. When they reached the location the choppers landed and about twenty-five well trained men from the Special Forces poured out and immediately started to secure the perimeter. The witches descended from one of the choppers and The High Priestess calmly smoothed out her dress with a delicate hand while eyeing their surroundings with an unreadable expression. Willow however didn't hide her emotions at all. She was staring in every direction with growing desperation. There was nothing there. Nothing but sand. Riley barked some orders and the soldiers expanded the perimeter, searching for hidden entrances in the ground but to no avail. Buffy was watching intently but keeping her distance. Giles came out and attempted to lean against the hot metal of the aircraft then quickly returned to the protective shade inside.

Willow gently touched the amulet that was resting around her neck. She was sure this was the place but where was the entrance? She had assumed the gateway would be hidden, probably behind some elaborate magical shield, but the idea that it would be so well hidden that she couldn't detect it had never occurred to her. Breathing deeply she concentrated her energy on the amulet. Suddenly she felt a strange sensation, something she had never felt before. It slowly grew stronger and after a few moments it was so strong she actually fell down, gasping for air. Then it stopped. When she looked up, Catherine was standing above her, watching her questioningly.

"Well?" she said with a stern voice. She wasn't sure what to say. She didn't know what it was, what it meant, or even how to describe it. "I...I'm not sure..." she stuttered, not being able to meet the gaze of the High Priestess. Then she felt a hand carefully helping her up from the ground. Buffy gently brushed off some of the sand from her dress, and gave her an encouraging nod. The High Priestess was clearly not happy about the interference but Buffy ignored her. She simply gestured to Willow to get into one of the choppers to avoid the sun.

It was mid day and the sun stood at its zenith. The heat was unbelievable, and even in the shade it was hard to breathe. She climbed inside, grateful to be out of the sun and away from the High Priestess inquiring stare. Angel and Spike were sitting at the back, carefully hidden from the deathly rays of the sun. Kaya was nestled some distance away from Angel but clearly being aware of his every move. She had barely said two words to anyone, including Angel, but her silence spoke volumes and there was no doubt how she felt about her. She tried hard not to look at Kaya. The last thing she needed was a larger dose of guilt.

"It's close." Angel's voice came deep from within the darkness, harsh, cold, unyielding. She hoped he didn't notice the shudder that went through her body.

"I know," she said faintly. "I just don't know where." Buffy put a gentle hand on her shoulder and there was no doubt in her voice when she said,

"You'll find it, Will. You just need to concentrate." Buffy gave her friend a encouraging smile that never reached her eyes, then left the chopper to stand guard in the sun, making sure no one dared approach.

Willow took a deep breath. As much power as she had gained over the past few years, it was amazing how much safer she still felt with Buffy around. She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. Then something dawned on her. If Angel could sense it too, maybe they should link. Perhaps he could decode the strange sensation she had felt. She moved closer to him. His dark eyes followed her warily in the murkiness of the chopper and she had to fight an impulse to run away. Sitting down in front of him, her voice sounded surprisingly firm considering how on edge she felt.

"I'm going to need your help, Angel. Link with me, maybe we can find the opening together." She thought she could see him nod in the shadow then he took her hands in his. He felt cold despite the heat and she felt a strange sense of comfort. She knew the evil within him perhaps better than anyone and it had gotten stronger the past few days. But he was still Angel, a friend she had trusted with her life more than once.

Pushing aside her own insecurities she prepared to form the link. But before she had a chance to do anything the strange sensation was back, stronger than before. This time it was followed by visions, blurred colors swirling before her, images without meaning. She tried to gain control, forced herself to focus on her hands in his, the sensation of his skin against hers, linking her energies to his. It took almost all of her strength but finally she could feel the connection. But she hadn't really thought this through. The link work both ways. Now the pain surged from him with such force it took her breath away, almost pushing her to the floor. Darkness engulfed her, raging torrents of fear, anger and sadness. She had to force herself to breathe, to fight the current that threatened to pull her down. Moments went by, what felt like an eternity, but eventually she managed to contain his pain and move past it. She focused on the images that still whirled in her mind. Suddenly the images cleared, she could make out sand, a strange shape. Misplaced colors, flowing energy, it was cold and dark, smelled of blood. Then the noise came, loud booming; a voice speaking in a strange tongue. She could only understand two words; "Angelus! Welcome!" Then it stopped, everything went silent, the link was broken. Angel released her hands and she dropped to the floor shaking, struggling to breathe. Spike helped her sit up again and handed her some water to drink. He gave her a wry smile.

"Quite a ride, huh?" She was too exhausted to respond and to her own surprise she actually let him pull her close to him, resting her head comfortably against his chest, his strong arms soothing her shaking body. She allowed herself to relax, made herself breathe calmly. This had probably been one of the hardest thing she'd ever done and she couldn't imagine what it was like to live with that every day. But at least now she understood what the images meant and judging from his expression so did Angel.

She regretfully pushed herself away from Spike. She met Angel's eyes for a moment then looked away. She wished with every part of her being that there was another way but wishing didn't make a rainbow. She rose, mustering what little strength she had left. There was no point in staling. Her voice sounded very tired when she declared,

"I'll go make the arrangements." Then she made her way past Kaya and her cold stares, out of the dark chopper and back into the light.

Giles adjusted the old and torn hat on his head with a disgruntled frown. It was the only thing Xander had found for him to shield from the sun before they left, or at least that's what he had said. He was quite sure he looked ridicules but if it gave Xander some small joy it was worth it. Besides, he had far greater concerns than a stupid hat. For some time now he had been struggling with the ominous feeling that they were being manipulated. The demon Angel had faced in New York had been nothing more than an elaborate decoy, just as the elimination of Dawn had served a greater purpose. This Dacq'ilion was without a doubt the most sinister, calculating demonic power they had yet encountered and his ambition eclipsed all others. Ultimate evil possessing the power to rule as God over all dimensions, he couldn't think of anything more terrifying.

He carefully put his feet on the scorching sand. It was amazing how hot it could get on earth. Willow had just emerged from the chopper and was speaking to Deanna, gesturing towards the empty desert. Giles hoped that she had found a way to reveal the entrance. Clearly it was hidden here somewhere, shielded by magic too complex even for the High Priestess to unravel. When he approached Willow he could hear Deanna objecting rather feverishly but Willow was in no mood to argue. "Just get it done." she said in an unusually harsh voice and marched off. Deanna made a quick curtsy and almost ran back to the chopper where Angel and Spike were. He felt bad for the poor girl but his main concern was Willow. Something had happened to her and he was determined to find out what.

Willow stood silent, facing the great, emptiness of the desert. He stopped a few feet from her, watching as she tried to draw energy from the earth. She was almost completely drained of power, he could see that clearly and considering how powerful she was that was highly surprising.

"What happened, Willow?" He found himself almost whispering in the silence. Willow didn't move, she just stood there, eyes closed. Eventually she spoke in a strange, distant voice,

"I felt it, Giles." A jolt of fear touched his heart and he hoped he was wrong.

"You felt what?" She opened her eyes and slowly turned to face him, her eyes welling up with tears. "I felt him. What he feels." He forced himself to remain calm.

"Listen, Willow. You have to put it aside. We all feel bad for Angel, but you said yourself there is no other way. We can not let Dacq'ilion use the Crystal! All sacrifices to that end are acceptable." He realized he had sounded brusquer than he had intended but he had a fairly good idea of what must be going through Angel's mind at this point and although he had no doubt the vampire had enough strength to handle it he wasn't so sure about Willow. In this fight though, they really couldn't afford to lose either of them. To his relief she nodded, seemingly understanding and turned back towards the desert. With a voice filled with sadness she started chanting, her arms stretched out, reaching for something unseen.

Angel walked as quickly as he dared towards Willow, keeping a cautious eye on Deanna. She was chanting furiously to keep the sun from burning him to dust but in direct sunlight like this it was still a big risk. Sweat was pouring down her face and she looked exhausted already. It was a shame she was the only one who had fully mastered this type of chanting, she could have used some help. Xander was walking a few steps behind her, as if he wanted to be there to catch her if she fell over. He looked around to see where Buffy was. He didn't like to let her out of his site for too long. The sadness in her was enough to kill any normal human. To his relief she was still sitting in the shadow of one of the choppers with Spike right behind her, watching from afar as Angel reached Willow.

Giles wiped large drops of sweat from his forehead for the hundredth time. His handkerchief was soaked through by now and had become quite useless for cleaning his glasses, which he realized every time he unconsciously took them off to do just that. Unfortunately he had only brought one. He put the soaked piece of cloth back in his pocket with a sigh. Willow had gone silent and turned towards Angel. As their eyes met they shared a brief moment of mutual understanding before she left him to begin his own chant. Just then, Giles spotted the High Priestess standing across from him. She was watching Willow intently and to his surprise an expression passed over her ageless face, something strange and out of place. It was only for a second and perhaps his eyes had deceived him in the blinding sunlight. But even though he tried to shake it off it lingered in his mind. He had no idea what to make of it but it might be best to keep an eye on the High Priestess in the future.

The chants of Deanna and Angel created an eerie symphony in the otherwise deathly silent desert. It even made his hair stand on end despite his long experience with the paranormal. But soon the air in front of Angel started to shift, colors emerged, swirling around, vibrating in the heat. Angel continued to speak in an old demon tongue and the energy shield became clear for everyone to see. Angel then raised his hands and announced in a loud voice the arrival of the demon Angelus. Suddenly the energy shield faded and revealed a large rock-formation with a cave entrance in the middle. Their journey could finally continue.

The confined corridors through the mountain spiraled steadily downwards and the team had to walk in a single file to get through some of the narrowest parts. At times all Giles could see was Riley's broad back right in front of him, the rest of the company was just faint breaths in the distance. After a while he was seriously beginning to fear they had been led into a trap but just as he was about to voice his concern, the passage opened up into a much broader cave. The air was damp, even a bit chilly and it smelled of old mildew and dirt. In the eerie light of the magical candles the witches had brought, they could clearly see intricate inscriptions on the walls. They were definitely on the right path.

The High Priestess, who had taken up the lead right from the start, motioned with a delicate hand and Riley set up his men around the cave. The lights soon lit up their surroundings, revealing three separate corridors leading from the cave. The High Priestess gave Angel a questioning look but he shook his head. He felt nothing, or perhaps he didn't want to share. It was strange to see him look so exhausted, as if the slow walk through these caves had somehow drained him of energy. He sat down on one of the rock-formations jetting out of the cave wall, staring vacantly in front of him. Giles decided to check on him, this was no time for Angel to fall apart on them. But as he approached the brooding hero, he suddenly froze in his tracks. From deep within one of the corridors a noise came; a hissing sound, followed by what could only be described as metal rods hitting rock. Riley and his men quickly assumed their attack formations and as the sounds grew louder Giles put his backpack down and pulled out an ax. Angel on the other hand didn't move, simply lifted his head a little. Buffy hadn't moved either, standing at the other end of the cave, watching the source of the sounds intently. Giles couldn't help but marvel at the girl. There was an air of danger about her, the unmistakable aura of a true warrior. She stood there, very simply, waiting for whatever would come out of that corridor. Stood there, relaxed and poised for attack at the same time. Several weapons were sticking out of her backpack, she was just waiting for a glimpse of their enemy before she made her choice. He had to force himself to look away. Out of all the slayers he had met in his time, Buffy always seemed to him the ultimate Slayer but maybe he just felt like that because he had trained her. He noticed Angel watching her too, his dark eyes searching her face. The creature that had the rest of them fighting hard to control their fear barely had his attention. Angel clearly had far greater problems on his mind than the demonic creature that would soon attack.

With a ghostly wheezing the creature finally descended on them but at that moment they all wished it hadn't. It looked like an overgrown, gigantic beetle, with six long legs, a body covered in what seemed like armored plates, and faceted eyes like a fly, watching all of them at the same time. Giles estimated it was at least twelve feet tall and despite its rather gangly appearance it would not be easy to kill. Riley ordered his men to shoot but it didn't take long to realize bullets would have no effect. The creature simply gave up a hideous cry that echoed between the cave walls then proceeded to shoot out long, sharp, spear-like tentacles from outcrops on its legs. Two men went down immediately, speared by the tentacles and Riley ordered his men to retreat.

Now the High Priestess stepped up with Willow by her side and followed closely by the other witches. They all linked and the High Priestess started chanting, lifting her arms up in front of her. Soon she had charged a large energy ball between her hands, which she calmly released on the creature. She looked so confident that it would be over soon that she even turned away. Giles skin began to crawl but he wasn't sure why. As the energy ball hit the creature in full force it certainly seemed like it would be the end but to everyone's surprise the creature had some kind of supernatural defense and the massive energy ball simply bounced off it and vaporized. The creature moved towards the High Priestess and one of its spears shot out with deathly accuracy, aimed directly at her. He didn't see how it happened but somehow Angel managed to get in front of the High Priestess with a long sword in hand just in time to cut off the spear before it pierced her. After that it didn't take long for everyone to retreat back into the other caves. Now there was only three left to fight the creature; Angel, Spike and Buffy.

Giles watched intently as the three warriors circled the creature, searching for a weakness. They had all chosen swords, long, sharp and too heavy for any normal human to lift. Giles still had his ax in hand but in this fight he would be useless. Separately these three were all dangerous enough, together they were certainly unstoppable, no matter how imposing the opposition. But the creature apparently had a mission. After eyeing both Angel and Spike with its weird facets, it launched its attack straight at Buffy. Clearly it had orders to stop all none demons from entering. Buffy gracefully avoided the attack and easily cut through the tentacle. But another came right after it and this time it only missed her by an inch. Spike jumped up on the creatures back and attempted to ram his sword into its flesh, but no matter how much strength he put into it his sword failed to penetrate the armored plates.

The creature obviously didn't like Spike being on its back. It gave off a terrible shriek and began to shake and twist then suddenly reared up and slammed Spike against the ceiling of the cave. While he fell unconscious to the ground Angel saw the opportunity and moved in. With full force he drove his sword into the belly of the beast, only to be surprised to realize it didn't penetrate. He only had seconds to move out of the way as the creature crashed down on its six legs again. The cave shook as the creature landed and now it was grumpy. Spike was still unconscious so it went after Angel with total fury, sending out its tentacles by the dozen. Angel cut away the spears as fast as he could but more and more where piercing his body and he was getting weaker by the second.

Suddenly the creature screeched in pain and as Angel fell to the ground, it shifted its attention to Buffy. She had managed to get her sword inside the protruding end-section of the creature and bluish slime was pouring out. But as painful as it apparently was, unfortunately it didn't seem deadly. In a strange moment of silence the monster moved closer to Buffy, who was standing with her back against the wall. She was standing perfectly still, watching the creature came closer, her face void of emotion. Giles held his breath, his heart beating hard. He could feel something was wrong. Buffy didn't move and her sword hung limp by her side. In a moment of desperation Giles started towards her, but someone grabbed his arm. It was Xander. He was shaking his head firmly.

"Angel will help her." He said it with such certainty that Giles actually found himself comforted for a moment. But as he turned again that comfort soon vanished. He saw it almost in slow motion; the sharp tentacle shot out right at her and Buffy just stood there immobile, as if she was hypnotized. Suddenly out of nowhere, Angel leapt up and cut the spear seconds before it would have pierced her. Fueled by sheer anger he shoved her out of the way, knocking her to the ground, and went at the creatures eyes with desperate fury.

Buffy actually took a few moments to get up. But as she rose she seemed to shake off whatever had been holding her back and when she spoke her voice was firm and unyielding,

"Angel, get back!" He gave her a startled look and to Giles surprise Angel actually backed away, letting the creature focus its attention once again on the slayer. With a graceful vault she got up on to its back luring it to revealing its belly again. With an elegant motion she then leapt off before she hit the ceiling. Seconds later she had its tentacles shooting right at her but this time she didn't wait for them to hit, instead she moved in, straight for the belly. The creature may have been big and well protected but luckily it wasn't too bright. It didn't even realize what she had done until three of its own tentacles had pierced the armored plates that protected its belly. The beetle creature actually gave off a noise that sounded surprised before it crashed to the ground and went still.

It was quiet. No one moved. The creature lay still, the battle was over. Buffy wiped off a few drops of sweat that had actually made its way down her forehead. She wasn't watching Angel. She could feel him watching her but she made a point of not watching him. Instead she walked up to Spike who was just waking up from his encounter with the cave ceiling.

"What happened?" he asked groggily and rubbed his sore head, as she helped him up. When he saw the dead beetle he smiled and said with satisfaction, "I see you exterminated that bloody vermin! Hope you made it suffer on my account!" She nodded, not sure what to say. Then she felt Angel moving in closer behind her, leaning down, as if he wanted to make sure she could hear him, his quiet voice full of focused anger.

"What the hell was that?" Her heart was beating so hard she could barely breathe. She wanted to scream, she almost did. How could he ask her that? She turned, looked right into his eyes. They were dark just like they had been when she met Angelus, all those years ago. She let her own anger fuel her, make her voice as forceful as possible, when she replied,

"I had everything under control."

Spike had been staring at them in bewilderment and now he wanted some answers, turning accusingly towards Angel,

"What are you two going on about?" But they both ignored him. Angel had all his focus centered on her and as she attempted to walk away from him he practically shouted,

"The hell you had!" He grabbed her arm and she reacted on instinct, pulling her arm out of his grip and hitting him as hard as she could. He went down but it wasn't until he failed to get up that she realized how hurt he was. The wounds caused by the creature's spears had been hard to see under his black coat, but now the ground was smeared red. She swallowed the tears that threatened to overpower her and leaned down to help him. He pushed her away, his eyes full of pain. She backed off, letting Kaya help him instead. She was starring so accusingly at her that she couldn't stand it. She turned around and walked off.

Spike was not happy about being ignored.

"Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on here? I thought that bloody vermin thing being dead was a good thing. Why the bloody hell are you two fighting?" Kaya gave him a look that said be quiet but that only seemed to spur him on. He glared back at her and snorted, "What? The bloody Slayer and the Super Hero, too bloody fragile to answer? That's bloody rich!" He walked up to Buffy and she had to struggle with herself not to hit him too. But as he softened his voice a part of her just wanted to throw herself against his chest and cry. "Tell me, pet. What happened?" She lied of course, what else could she do?

"He thought I was going to let that thing spear me but I had everything under control. I killed it, didn't I?" That last part she directed at her audience. Their concern, their worried glances, was about to drive her insane. Especially Giles. The look in his eyes made her feel like a child again and she didn't like it. She could feel Spike staring after at her as she walked up to her backpack and began to clean her sword.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The High Priestess had assumed that the correct route to the gateway was the path the creature had come from and that's the path they had taken. Xander stayed as close to Angel as he dared. He knew the big guy must be going through hell and probably didn't even know he was there but he really didn't have anywhere else to be. He couldn't face Willow. Not that he blamed her exactly it was just that he couldn't stand her being so submissive towards the Romanov woman. He couldn't stand being near Buffy either. The sadness in her almost destroyed him. At least Angel seemed to have accepted his fate. He would fight until death and die a hero. Spike on the other hand was acting really weird, even for him. And Giles was lost in his own thoughts, unreachable to anyone. So he followed his friend down the narrow caves, hoping it would all end soon.

When they finally reached the gateway, he almost forgot to breathe. The cave was huge and dark, even with the witches' illumination it seemed dark. The walls were covered with the same strange signs they had seen before and even though he had no idea what they meant he guessed it wasn't some charming fairy tale. The ceiling was so high up all you could see was darkness that never ended. The big, thick pillars that held it up, stretched seemingly endlessly into total blackness above them. They were made of some strange rock that glistened in dark shades of green and he thought he saw something moving inside them, before he pulled his eyes off them and promised himself to stay away. Along the walls of the main cave there were smaller ones carved out, some where just ledges, barely big enough to stand on, others led deep into the mountain. From where they had entered small steps led downwards, and as he walked down those steps and deeper into the main cave, he noticed the gateway. In the middle of the cave wall was a large sheet of what seemed like pure liquid blackness. Above it were intricate writings of some archaic demon language. Along its sides where pillars with hideous carvings, faces twisted in torment, bodies shattered and torn. He could swear he heard screaming coming from them. This was definitely the scariest place he had ever been to.

As if it wasn't bad enough that the cave seemed to practically radiate evil, the preparations for Angel's departure had everyone walking on hot coals. They all tried to look as busy as possible, even though there really wasn't that much to do. Riley and his men had scouted the location, looking for enemies in every corner, but surprisingly coming up with nothing. They hadn't met a single demon since the giant beetle and it was making everyone a bit nervous. The witches had focused entirely on Angel, healing his wounds and fussing like crazy. He had rarely felt so useless. But it was too painful to just sit around and wait for Angel to disappear into the blackness so he headed for Giles, who had his head buried in a book, as usual. Maybe he could help him with some research.

"Hey there, G-man. In full research mode, I see. Where do I start?" he asked hopefully as he sat down next to the watcher. Giles didn't seem to hear him at first and he was just about to ask again, when Giles lifted his head. But instead of looking at him he eyed the High Priestess with a strange expression on his face.

"What do you think of her?" he asked quietly. He gave him a quizzical look.

"I don't know. I can't say I'm too fond of her, she's a bit Ice-queeny if you know what I mean. But Willow says she's OK, so I guess she is. Why?" Giles shook his head softly, as if to clear his mind. Absentmindedly he tried to clean his glasses with a dirty handkerchief, which just made it worse. He actually seemed a little surprised to realize what he was doing. Then he tucked the cloth back in his pocket again and replied with a heavy sigh,

"I'm not sure. There is something not quite right, that's all."

"What do you mean?" he replied breathlessly. "You don't think Angel is sacrificing his life for nothing, do you?" Giles was silent for a while before he answered thoughtfully,

"I hope not. But it is a strange notion that such a small potion could do so much damage." Now he was up on his feat, gesticulating wildly.

"Then you have to stop this! You can't let him do this if you're not sure!" Giles calmly used his sleeve to clean his glasses before he put them back on.

"I can't stop this because I don't have any better idea. If there is even a small chance this might work we have to risk it."

"But it's not us risking anything, it's Angel! He's going to die!" He was almost choking but Giles said nothing, simply looked over his shoulder to where the High Priestess was making her preparations, seemingly content with hoping for the best. He stomped off, and for a moment he thought of talking to Buffy. But as he watched her keeping herself busy by going over battle strategies and assessing potential attack-scenarios, clearly pushing even Riley's patience to its breaking point, he knew she was the last person he could talk to about this. And Willow would never question the High Priestess. So he admitted defeat and took his refuge to darker parts of the cave, trying hard not to scream in frustration.

The High Priestess had spent a great deal of time telling Angel all about this demon dimension he was about to walk into. Spike had been close enough to hear most of it and he was puzzled to hear the amount of meaningless rubbish she had made him listen to. It was almost like she relished in the idea that his last few moments in life was as miserable as possible. Why Angel needed to know how to disable the barrier between the dimensions was anybody's guess. It wasn't like he would ever get that far. But eventually she seemed content that she had told him everything she wanted. She carefully placed the small vial with the potion on a string around his neck then patted him on the chest and nodded with satisfaction as if he was a prized poodle she had finished grooming. Angel barely seemed to notice. He didn't look or smell afraid though, just extremely focused.

Spike on the other hand, was experiencing a whole range of emotions he hadn't expected. He felt slightly nervous, since it now was up to him to fill some pretty sizable shoes. Running the LA branch without Angel's supervision had turned out to be a lot harder than he had anticipated and to run the whole thing, with all the different branches around the world, would be a bloody nightmare. Being in charge sounded a lot cooler than it really was, as it turned out. He also felt angry and although he didn't fancy admitting it to anybody, he felt jealous. Not that he wanted to die, but it was always Angel that got to be the true hero, the one that ultimately saved the day. Of course with him gone, that role would be his, and that in turn brought actual feelings of, well not fear perhaps, but anxiety. But what had him the most perplexed was the realization that he would actually miss the old ponce. He hadn't noticed when dislike had turned to friendship. Their relationship had always been a complex one but he had never imagined feeling all warm and fuzzy about it.

He tried not to seem like he was paying too much attention. He had a reputation to uphold after all. So after the High Priestess was done with Angel and he started to say his good-byes, Spike kept his head down, smoked his cigarette and tried to look cool. After a brief conversation and a warm hug with Willow, Angel moved on to Giles, who shook his hand respectfully but reeked with guilt for some reason. Spike figured the old man probably knew something he didn't and truth be told, he'd rather keep it that way. Asking questions in this crowed rarely led to any good. Xander was next. The poor bloke could barely stand straight and it was an unusually warm hug, considering it was two guys. Typically Xander, carrying on like a girl half the time! Kaya held up surprisingly well. Spike had assumed she would fall apart. Maybe she was saving it for later. Suddenly he noticed he actually felt week in the knees as Angel walked towards him. This wasn't good. The last thing he wanted was for Angel to sense his emotional turmoil, the bloke had enough to worry about! So he pulled himself up, faced the old broody-pants with a confident...bollocs!

Angel looked at him, eyes dark and searching. So much had passed between them, so many years, so much death, so much life. Words were shallow, not enough to explain, so they said nothing, simply shared a moment of mutual understanding. Then Angel affectionately placed his hands on Spike's shoulders, leaned in a little closer and whispered, his eyes full of desperation and pain,

"Keep her safe...Spike you have to promise me you'll keep her safe!" His voice cracked at the end and tears filled his eyes. There was no need to say more. Spike knew and he also understood the impossibility in this request. But what else could he do but nod. He didn't dare speak though, his voice would probably betray him. Angel straightened and nodded in response, as if Spike had convinced him everything would be fine. Then he turned and started walking towards the black gateway.

Buffy was sitting alone, a few feet away from the rest of them. Spike could smell her pain and he knew Angel could too. He wanted to go over there but for some reason it was hard to move. He really admired Angel for going through with this with such grace. If it had been him he would probably have been babbling like a lunatic by now. He would have done it of course, that's what heroes do. But right now he just wished there was something he could do to help Buffy. She was trying hard not to look at Angel and he didn't look at her. Instead he seemed to force all of his energy towards the battle that awaited him, the last battle of his life. It should have been the ultimate battle that would eventually make him human but it didn't seem he would ever have that prophecy fulfilled. Not that Spike was feeling too bad about that of course. It only meant that the Vampire with a soul in question would be him. Maybe someday he would be human again. But at this very moment he wasn't sure it was worth losing a friend for.

When Angel finally reached the entrance in the cave wall, he stopped. Half turning, there was a moment of hesitation. His shoulders hunched a bit and he seemed to debate whether he should go back or not. He through a glance over his shoulder in Buffy's direction and Spike could smell his despair all across the room. But just as he began to fear the worst, Angel pulled himself up, lifted his head high and took the final step forward and was gone.

There was a deafening silence. No one stirred or even dared breathe. He was the first one to move. He had made a promise and he would honor it, for whatever that was worth. In truth there probably wasn't much he could do. If she had lost her will to live no power in the world could keep her alive. He sat down next to Buffy then sat there in silence. Not much to say really. She knew he was there for her, which was enough. Her breathing was slow, as if she was half asleep. Her eyes fixed on a single spot on the ground in front of her. Suddenly a sobbing broke the silence. It was Kaya who finally fell apart, tumbled to the ground shaking. Spike felt sorry for her. If it had been Buffy who had disappeared into that blackness he would probably have lost it too.

The High Priestess watched Kaya's collapse with indifference then told her in a harsh tone to stop that sniveling and act with some dignity. Spike found himself half way up from his seat and ready to rip her head off, when Giles faced the High Priestess with the air of importance that only he could muster in situations like this.

"I realize with your power it is easy to lose site of human feelings like compassion, but is it too much to ask to let this woman grieve in peace?" The High Priestess watched him calmly without flinching. A staring match began between two equals, where neither would yield. Willow looked like she was about to throw up. She started to speak, but the High Priestess lifted a hand to silence her. Then the old woman spoke, and even though her voice was quiet it filled every corner of the cave.

"But my dear Giles, it is during stressful times when dignified behavior is the most important, wouldn't you agree." Then, before he had a time to respond, she added casually, "Besides, the girl grieves for no reason. Angel will not die."

On the other side of the gateway it was cold. Not that it bothered him, he just noted that it was cold. But it was also dark so any step he took was a risk. Angel stood silent for a moment, listening for any noise, smelled the air for any demons near by. There was nothing. So he took one more step forward and suddenly a mind-numbing pain ripped his body. He staggered, tried to hold on to something, fell to the ground screaming. But it wasn't the pain that made him scream, pain he had gotten used to by now. It was the certain knowledge that he had felt this before that made him claw at the hard, cold stone floor, begging higher powers for mercy. Who had betrayed him? And why? The questions struck like knifes but worse than that was the horrifying possibility that Buffy might yet again need to kill him. That was his final thought before he was shoved deep inside the demons mind and Angelus filled his immortal flesh once more.

Angelus flexed his muscles carefully. This body was stronger than he had remembered. He was still crouching on the ground, keeping his head down. He wasn't alone. He could smell their foul scent, at least a dozen or so. They seemed to keep still perhaps they were waiting for him. He hoped this was the Challenge the witch had talked about. It had been too long since he had a chance to do some serious damage. He slowly lifted his head and felt them stir. It was dark, too dark to see even for his sensitive eyes. But he could smell them well enough to fight. Suddenly there was a glimmer of light right above him. Soon he was bathed in a strange, orange light, making a circle about six feet wide around him. When he moved, the light followed. He smiled. This was perfect. Someone was watching and he would be at the center of a fight till death. This would be fun!

The first demon attacked, launching an ax at his back. He gracefully evaded the demon's move and stepped around and ripped his head off, grabbing the ax before it fell to the floor. The next one attacked right away, using a sharp sword. The ax easily glided into the demons greenish flesh, spluttering slimy intestines on the floor. He laughed happily. He was free and fighting, his prayers had been answered.

"Oh, common gentlemen," he taunted, "is this the best you've got? I thought this would be a challenge!" A knife came at him from the darkness and he cut off the arm that held it, but doing so made him miss the heavy fist aimed at his head. He saw the dark floor coming at him and it took a few seconds to realize he had been hit. Good, he didn't want this to be too easy. Seconds after he hit the floor he was up again. Wielding the ax in front of him, he could feel it cutting through flesh. It was remarkable how much he had missed this. Blocking a sword that came from the right he soon had both an ax and a sword in his hands. He took a knife-cut to his side but paid it back with death.

Just as he was getting into the groove of the fight, it stopped. There was no one left alive, except him. Apart from a few last breathes, or gurgles, it was silent.

"Was that it?" he asked into the silence. "I was just starting to enjoy myself." In the distance he thought he could hear a faint laugh, and he took a few steps in that direction. Suddenly the light around him expanded, filled the space he was in, but to his surprise there were no walls, no ceiling, only a weird nothingness. On the floor lay piles of dead and dismembered demons of various kinds and he took a few seconds to marvel at his own creation, before he started worrying about getting out of here.

The light grew brighter and for a moment he feared he would be turned to ash. He actually cringed a bit and when the light became blinding he cursed his fate, that it would be over so soon after he had been freed. But then the light faded, he was still intact and he was standing in a large room with walls of what seemed like stone, yet not quite, and big steps leading up to a balcony. There, on the ledge, stood a demon he knew well. The only one he ever truly respected and the only one he would ever bow down to. And that was exactly what he did. Kneeling and lowering his head he offered his humility as a token of allegiance. In doing so he expressed a level of submission highly unusual for such a proud demon and something that could only come from the certain knowledge that the demon above him was far more powerful and dangerous then he had ever been or could ever hope to become.

"Rise, Angelus and welcome!" Dacq'ilion gestured with a frail hand. His long, white hair and beard had always made Angelus think of him as the evil version of Father Christmas, although much skinnier. He looked very human, apart from his strange green eyes, and in his wrinkled forehead rested the remnants of the world he had destroyed, the world which had given birth to him and made him what he was. His age was anyone's guess, he usually traveled other dimensions than the one he inhabited, so time was hard to keep track of. But Angelus would never forget their first meeting. He had been sired a few decades earlier and was just starting to get the hang of the whole vampire thing. Darla had been a great teacher but she had also sired others that occasionally required her attention and one dreary night in Prague she had announced she had to leave for a few days. He had been very upset of course but after she had convinced him that he would always be her favorite, he let her go. There were a few things he wanted to try out before he showed them to her and this was a perfect opportunity.

He had caught up to him in a dark alley. The boy was probably about twelve, although the years of poverty had taken its toll and made him seem older. He had brought him to an abandoned warehouse in the outskirts of town, so that he could be certain no one would disturb them. There he had gotten to work, making the boy scream in different notes, creating a beautiful symphony of pain. Unfortunately the boy died much too soon and just as he was about to go out and find a new one, a big, smelly demon appeared out of nowhere. He wasn't easy to kill, and he got Angelus pretty badly before the creature lay dead at his feet. And that was when it happened. Out of a swirling grayish light this old man came towards him. He looked at the dead demon and nodded with approval. Then he took Angelus by the hand and led him back through the swirling lights, to another dimension. This was the first time Angelus had realized there were other dimensions, and in this one he was about to get to know a master of destruction. His name was Dacq'ilion and he explained that he had an enemy here he needed to torment and he wanted Angelus to help him, since he had recognized his talent for destruction. In return he would teach him how to inflict real pain on all types of creatures. First he had thought it was some sort of a joke and that Darla would soon turn up and laugh at him in that adorable way she did. But after a few days, weeks or years, it was hard to tell, he had come to the conclusion that he had been given the privilege of learning from a true master.

After they had finished their task and the Teacher had been satisfied with his revenge, he had made an offer to Angelus. He could stay with him and learn the ways of an upper-level demon. But it had meant he would never see Darla again so he had declined. After he was sent back to his own dimension he realized that virtually no time at all had past there. When Darla returned he tried to explain what had happened to him but nothing came out right. So he kept it to himself, buried it so deep not even his human half thought of the memories as anything more than a vague dream. But over the years he had always hoped he would encounter his Teacher again and now that he had he would follow him anywhere. After all, this time there was no one to hold him back.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The silence was palpable and Buffy had to focus all her energy on breathing. The words echoed in her mind like thunder. She desperately wanted to do violence but she didn't dare move for fear her body would collapse. So she sat still, simply turned her head slowly so she could see the High Priestess from the corner of her eye. The woman absentmindedly brushed some dust off her white dress as if everything was normal and when she spoke again her voice was perfectly calm,

"Oh, really Giles, you don't think I would sacrifice our best warrior on a suicide mission, do you?"

"I'm not sure what you're capable of anymore, High Priestess." Giles' voice was thick with controlled rage but she seemed unmoved by his anger, simply looked at him for a moment with an unreadable expression. When she answered though, she sounded unusually sympathetic.

"I am truly sorry that it was necessary to deceive you all. I know how much you care about him. But I can assure you I had no other choice. You see… " Now she turned to all of them with a dramatic gesture, "…the gateway will only admit a demon. If any humanity resides in those who enter, the magic will destroy it. Passing though the gateway, he will become Angelus again. And everything Angel knows, Angelus knows too. That's why it was so important that Angel truly believed that this potion will do what I said and that we all believed it was our only way."

When she finished her eyes scanned the room calmly, her face a perfect vision of serenity. The rest of them just stared at her in shock, trying to process what she had said. Willow actually had to sit down, all color vanishing from her face. When Giles finally broke the silence, his voice almost cracked with emotion.

"You are mad. How could you release Angelus, knowing what he is capable of?"

"It was the only way. For some reason he stands in high regards with Dacq'ilion. He can get close to him, close enough to be a part of the ceremony."

"What good will that do? Angelus is evil, he will never help us!"

"Yes, Giles, Angelus is evil. But Angel has served good long enough to earn the respect of the Powers That Be. When he signed away the Shanshu Prophecy he changed his fate but that made him no less worthy of redemption. In the moment when the gateway is weak enough to shatter, before the ceremony is complete, the Powers That Be has agreed to grant Angel his soul again. Then he will help us enter the dimension and stop Dacq'ilion from gaining the powers of the Crystal. But there will be a very small window of opportunity." She turned directly towards Buffy and as she met the woman's eyes with murderous calm she continued, "It is crucial that everyone work together and do their part. Make no mistake, if we fail here, the world, the people we have sworn to protect, will suffer a fate far worse than either of us can imagine."

Buffy had to let the torrent of emotions fade a little before she could trust her body again. The nerve of the woman was astonishing. As she slowly stood up she watched the witch intently but there was no sign of any emotion at all on the old woman's smooth face. She could feel Spike stir next to her, could feel his anger build up. He probably had a few well chosen words for the High Priestess but the old woman had clearly challenged the Slayer and she wasn't about to let Spike get in the way of accepting that challenge. She put a gentle hand on his arm and he immediately backed down. Then she moved passed him, all her focus on the High Priestess. She forced herself to unclench her fists and breathe deeply. She threw a quick glance at Willow, making sure she had been kept in the dark as well. Betrayal by the High Priestess was one thing but Willow would have been different. But her friend looked as horrified as the rest of them. Buffy knew she should feel something; shock, pain, anger, something but she didn't. All she felt was cold, empty and distant. In truth she felt dead.

The High Priestess stood very relaxed, her arms folded across her chest. She made a good show of pretending that she had all the power here, that she would lead them to victory with her scheming. But as Buffy approached her, a hint of fear suddenly appeared on the woman's face. The old witch had played a dangerous game with stakes higher than ever before. And it gave Buffy at least some small satisfaction that, with all her power, at this moment the woman felt fear. She stood only a few inches from the High Priestess when she stopped, firmly holding the old woman's gaze. Her voice came out almost completely void of emotion as she calmly stated as a matter of fact,

"Just so we're clear, if those palls of yours That Be don't honor their commitment in this or if this plan of yours don't work out for some reason and we lose him, I am going to feed you that damn braid of yours until you choke to death. And I don't care how powerful you think you are. Make no mistake, if you ever deceive me or any of us again I will kill you." The High Priestess swayed a bit where she stood, color fading from her cheeks. Buffy waited until the woman averted her eyes for a second, then she turned to Riley. "The ceremony is in less than six hours so we don't have much time. We need to make a list of the demons we are most likely to face and how to kill them." She ignored the stunned expressions on her friends faces and calmly set about to construct battle strategies for yet another doomsday battle with ultimate evil.

Angelus had never felt so ecstatic. The Teacher had greeted him like a long lost son and immediately brought him into his closest circle. He directed him to the seat next to him at the table, moving the leader of the Varnush demons one chair down. The big, horn-clad demon looked very surprised when he realized he had been demoted by a simple vampire and made quite a fuss. Angelus had no choice but to kill him. Snatching one of the many knifes the demon had on him he quickly perforated his only lung then calmly watched as the big clot fell dead to the floor. The Teacher had nodded with satisfaction and after that the others had no problem showing Angelus proper respect.

During the rest of the meeting he enjoyed their full and undivided attention as he filled them in on the stupidity of the witches and the weak and pathetic Slayer. The Teacher seemed particularly interested in his account of Buffy. When he finished, the old man's strange, piercing eyes was locked on him as the Teacher carefully prodded the subject.

"So, my dear Angelus, you say the Slayer is weak, yet she was the one who defeated the Corosch at the entrance of the cave. How do you explain that?" He never flinched when he answered,

"I never said she was weak in a physical sense. She's probably stronger than ever. But she's burning out. No slayer has ever lasted as long as she has and the clever elimination of her sister was the last straw. She's gone, her mind, her spirit. She's just fighting on fumes now. And losing her precious Angel will definitely push her the last mile to never never land. She's an easy mark." he said confidently. The Teacher watched him intently.

"Good, then you won't mind killing her before the ceremony begins. I really don't like surprises." He hoped the disappointment he suddenly felt didn't register on his face and he kept his voice as neutral as possible.

"Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to take care of the Slayer, but there's soldiers and witches ready to fight on the other side. Wouldn't it be better if they thought their plan worked? If I suddenly showed up and sliced the Slayer, I think they might get a little suspicious. Besides, it's unlikely I would be able to get back..." As soon as he had said that last bit he wished he hadn't. It sounded more desperate than he wanted them to know he felt. He wanted so badly to be there by the Teacher's side for this. To be sacrificed on something so mundane was almost unbearable. But he kept his gaze steady on the Teacher's unreadable face, and after what felt like an eternity, the old man smiled and as if he had read his mind he said,

"Don't worry, my son. You will not be sacrificed. I will send my best warriors with you and you will not use the main portal. There are others, where you can surprise the Slayer when she is alone. As long as you are sure you can kill her." He had to take a few seconds before answering. He actually feared his voice might be thick, on the verge of tears. He steeled himself.

"Yes, Teacher. If I get her alone, with no soldiers or witches to worry about, I can kill her." He was glad to hear himself sound strong and as the Teacher looked at him with fatherly pride, he felt happier than he ever thought possible.

"What the bloody hell was all that about the Shanshu Prophecy?" Spike glared suspiciously at Willow who had her head buried in the countless books in front of her. Thinking she hadn't heard him he touched her arm and she shot him a cold stare.

"In case you hadn't noticed I'm a little busy, Spike. Maybe we can discuss this later."

"No we bloody well can't! Is it true? Did he sign away his chance of becoming human again?"

Willow sighed heavily and lifted her head.

"Yes, Spike. Angel signed away the fate prophesied in the Shanshu document. Apparently it was the only way he could get the Black Thorn to trust him." He stared at her.

"That was like ten years ago. Why the hell didn't anyone tell me!"

"I guess no one thought it was any of your business."

"Not my business!" Now he was getting really angry, all though truth be told, he didn't really want to admit why he felt angry. That Angel hadn't trusted him to share something of this importance, hurt more than he wanted to admit. "That prophecy could just as easily have been for me and you didn't think I would like to know that it wasn't in the cards anymore?"

"Oh for heaven sake Spike! Angel only signed away his chance not the prophecy itself. If anything he made sure you had a chance. Let's face it, you really weren't high on anyone's list for this prophecy before. Now you stand a slim chance. You should thank him. Now I really have to concentrate here, I have to memorize eight different chants in eight different languages before the ceremony, so please go bug someone else." She returned to her books, letting her finger run along the many lines of text in archaic languages, quietly reading some of the words out loud.

He didn't move. It took a while for her words to sink in. For as long as he could remember he had been fighting to get on equal footing with Angel, his grandfather of sorts. Now he suddenly realized with mind-numbing clarity that that was never going to happen. Angel would always be The One. Feelings of rage, jealousy and guilt rushed through him, but as the storm subsided he was left with a strange sense of relief. Why fight a battle you could never win? Specially when there was so many other battles that needed to be fought. He threw a glance in the direction of the High Priestess. Buffy had made quite an impact on the woman, which in itself was extremely satisfying. But she seemed to have recovered since then and although she stayed out of the Slayers way she went about organizing the attack with the same air of importance as before. He hesitated a moment, then turned back to Willow.

"How much do you really know about the High Priestess?" he asked quietly. Willow stopped her reciting. She seemed to breathe more rapidly and to Spike's surprise her eyes where actually filled with fear as she turned to him. Her voice though, was accusing,

"What do you mean?" He looked around, suddenly aware that he wasn't sure where Buffy was. She had kept herself busy making sure everyone knew their place and had the right equipment. So far he had managed to make sure she stayed in the main hall but now she was nowhere in sight. Willow was still glaring at him. He smiled a little,

"Never mind, it can wait." He really hoped it could. She nodded, looking very relieved. He guessed she was on her last tether, like the rest of them. No matter, he had to go find Buffy.

Buffy closed her eyes for a moment and made herself breathe deeply. This was the third time she had tried to count the boxes of silver-bullets and lost track of where she was. She got as far as nine and then her mind fazed out. She was clearly going insane. But she had to make sure no one else knew. They depended on her for strength and guidance. She had to see this through. So she started counting again. The small cave had been her choice for storing the weapons. They had to make sure they kept exact account of what they had and used it wisely. There was no telling how many or exactly what they would face. Silver bullets had proven useful on a number of different demons but hitting the right one in the chaos would not be easy. Riley's men were good, the best even, but in the end they were only human. There was only so much they could do. Most of it would be up to her. She actually longed for it. At least in a fight she didn't have to think, her body knew what to do. Slaying demons was what she was built for. The only thing she knew she could do well.

She got as far as twelve but it wasn't her mind that drifted this time. It was her senses. She wasn't alone. Her body went on high alert instantly, her hand griping one of the long knives lying in a neat pile next to her and with the other hand she reached for a sword. Seconds later she had forced the knife deep into the gut of a demon, moving in on the other before the first one hit the floor. She quickly took in the scene in front of her. Demons where coming out of the cave wall. Apparently the High Priestess had neglected to mention that there was more than one gateway down here. They weren't just any demons either; these were warrior demons, the worst kind. She found herself laughing out loud. This was just what she needed, a little boost to get her mind working again. Steel clashed against steel and the foul smell of demon intestines filled the small cave. She barely felt the pain as one of the demons threw her down onto the hard stone floor. She easily rolled out of the way and his sword hit nothing but solid rock. He actually looked a bit surprised when her knife pierced his chest a second later. Unfortunately these demons didn't vanish in a pile of dust or a puff of smoke and it was becoming rather difficult to get around the bodies without stumbling. Luckily the demons had the same problem and they were a lot clumsier than she was.

She quickly got rid of two more before the others suddenly stopped and pulled back. They looked intently on something to the left of her. Slowly, with every muscle in her body tensing, she turned. She didn't think anything particular at that moment, just that whatever it was she would defeat it or die trying. Riley or his men would soon get here and in this small space they could easily take whatever came out of that gateway, one at a time. Of course, there was one thing she hadn't thought of. Angel.

"Hi there, Buf. It's nice to see you again. You look good." He smiled and moved a little closer. "I'm glad to see you haven't lost your touch." Angelus gestured towards the three dead demons. Buffy just stared at him. When the knife and sword glided from her hands and dropped to the floor with a loud clank she flinched, inhaled hard and started to back up. All she could think was; no not again! The face was Angel's but the eyes; cold, dark and evil... She knew those eyes well. They had been in her nightmares, awake and asleep. Now they hypnotized her, pinned her to where she stood. He moved in carefully, slowly, like a cat stalking a mouse, maneuvering it into a corner. She forced herself to breathe. Everything felt like slow-motion. She could see every move he made so clearly, she knew he would kill her and yet she couldn't stop it.

He steadily moved in closer to her, holding her gaze. Soon his tall, muscular body was next to hers and she closed her eyes. His lips gently touched hers and unable to prevent it she let her mind wander to a different time. She could feel his face change and she held her breath. The sharp pain in her neck passed quickly and as he began to drink her she felt a strange sense of relief. She remembered this feeling well. Her heart started beating faster, her breathing became more intense. He moved in closer, his arms embracing her, holding her tight. She could feel all of him and she realized how much she had missed him. Far off in the distance she heard a roar, loud thumps, something crashing. But it didn't concern her. Soon her legs would give out, she would fade, no more pain, no more fear. Then suddenly he was torn away from her. His arms let her go and she fell to the floor. She saw Spike standing there, his eyes glowing with rage, a wooden stake in one hand, a sword in the other. That was the last thing she saw before she drifted out of consciousness.

Spike shifted his stance and forced himself to silently count backwards from ten. Up until a few years ago, Spike had always thought of himself as a warrior and little else. If someone had enraged him he simply killed him. Lately though, he had been forced to learn to control himself. Killing wasn't always the answer and in this case it wasn't even an option. Angelus had to live or all would be lost. He knew that, but fighting the urge to kill him proved harder than anything he had ever had to do before. His former mentor licked the remaining drops of blood from his lips with a satisfied grin.

"Yeah, just as I remembered it. Best blood in the world, Slayer blood, but you already know that, right? Of course Buffy has her very own deliciousnes about her. I'm sure there's some left if you want a taste." Angelus smiled as arrogantly as ever before and he had to draw on every bit of strength in him not to launch into a killing spree. There were two other demons left, he could at least kill them. But Angelus clearly wasn't going to leave until Buffy was dead and as he suddenly launched at her Spike had no choice but to fight him. But just to be on the safe side he let go of the stake and concentrated on the sword. Even if killing him was out of the question there was no reason why he couldn't hurt him.

The sword pierced Angelus skin, just below the heart and Angelus groaned in pain. He had apparently calculated on the other demons preventing him from getting to him, but they just stood there, hesitating, seemingly contemplating whether or not to go back to the safety of their own dimension. Angelus cursed them, then grabbed a sword and blocked Spike's next move. The two vampires then tore at each other with a passion, cutting through everything around them that wasn't made of metal or stone. Wooden boxes were chopped into pieces leaving lots of wooden stakes around. In an elegant move Angelus then moved in, punched his fist into Spike's skull with full force. Spike fell back, dropped his sword, got up only to feel Angelus fist hit him again, and again and again. He didn't remember Angel being this strong. His head was ringing and all he could think of was Buffy. She was lying under some debris just a few feet away. If he failed to get up now Angelus would kill her. He couldn't let that happen. He spat out some blood and was just about to get up when he saw the stake coming at him. He had nowhere to go, trapped between the floor, the wall and one really pissed off super-vampire. For a second he thought for sure his time was up. Dying at the hands of the true hero, what would that make him? A sad footnote in history no doubt. Then he heard guns firing. Angelus rammed the wood in his chest, but the bullets fired in his back made him miss his heart. Riley was standing by the entrance, one of the remaining demons lay dead at his feet while the other one was scrambling to make it back through the gateway. Angelus yelled at him to come back and fight but he was gone. With Riley's men gathering outside and Spike slowly getting up, there was nothing more for Angelus to do but accept defeat and hurl himself through the gateway. As soon as he was gone Spike fell to the floor again. The piece of wood was still stuck in his chest and he pulled it out, biting off a cry of pain. He closed his eyes for a moment. He knew the image of Angel with his teeth in Buffy's neck was one he would never forget. He should never have left her alone. He had made a promise.

Hands grabbed him, helping him up. Riley was carrying the still unconscious Buffy in his arms, while barking orders to bring everything back to the main cave. But all he wanted to do was run away, far away where he couldn't disappoint anyone again.

Angelus tumbled through the gateway and landed rather ungracefully on the floor. He clenched his teeth hard, focused his rage and rose slowly, his eyes fixed on the demon standing a few feet away. The warrior demons of the Garuli clan always bragged about being the best warriors in all dimensions but as Angelus closed in on him he didn't look so brave.

"You call yourself a warrior!" He spat out the words with as much contempt as he could manage. "You had a simple job to do. Get me close to the Slayer and keep everyone else away. But at the first sign on trouble, what do you do? You tucked your pathetic little tail between you legs and ran!" At this point he was close enough to rip the demons throat out and that was exactly what he was about to do when he saw the Teacher approach. He took a step back, not sure if the Teacher would like it if he killed one of his soldiers. Dacq'ilion stopped and eyed a deep wound in his side. He hadn't even noticed it himself.

"Are you all right son?" the Teacher asked gently and he nodded quickly.

"Yes Teacher. I'm fine." He looked down at his wound so no one would notice how overwhelmed he felt at his Teacher's concern. "It'll heal."

"Good. Did you get her?" He made the question seem a simple one, as if they were talking about fishing. He cringed. As much as he hated the Garuli demons and their weakness, he hated disappointing the Teacher more.

"No Teacher." he said quietly, lowering his head. "I failed. But she is badly wounded..." his voice filled with hope at that last part. Maybe it would be enough.

"Wounded but not dead." The Teacher's voice was smooth as silk and he glided closer to him while the object emanating from his forehead started to glow faintly. Angelus closed his eyes and steeled himself, knowing what would come. The Teacher gently touched his forehead and all that had happened in that cave rolled up before his eyes again, followed by excruciating pain. He tried not to scream but he couldn't bear it for long. He could hear his own hollering in the distance and cursed himself for not keeping silent. When the Teacher was done with him, he collapsed on the floor, shaking. So much for passing himself off as impressive and powerful. When he looked up, though, the Teacher had turned his attention on the Garuli demon and he looked even less brave then he had before.

"I sent you on a mission, did I not." The Teacher's voice had become cold as ice. "To ensure that Angelus could complete his, yes?" The Garuli demon started to stammer then finally said,

"But he wasn't killing her, he... he... he was drinking...and not killing..." he stopped short as the Teacher moved in closer.

"Yes. Angelus was drinking. And had he been allowed to drink a little more, the Slayer could have been one of us. But you failed in your mission and now she is not dead and not one of us." He tilted his head slightly, his voice almost seductive when he continued, "What do you think is going to happen to you now?"

Angelus smiled happily. He pulled himself off the floor and one of the Teacher's helpers brought him a chair. He had missed this, watching the Teacher in action. It had been too long. It didn't matter that the Slayer was still alive. She was as good as dead anyway. They would meet again soon and then he wouldn't let anything get in the way of making her one of them. A vampire slayer turned vampire! Priceless! He would be remembered for all eternity. He laughed out loud as he watched the Teacher slowly kill the warrior demon in an ingeniously painful way.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Kaya tightened the strap around her thigh that kept one of her many knifes in place under her expensive tailored suit. Apart from passing on his preference for designer clothing Angel had also taught her that being smart in a fight gives you a much better advantage than brute force. In her case that usually meant making her opponent think she was harmless and hiding her knifes was a key part in that strategy. She was slightly stronger than most humans but more than anything she counted on her speed too win. Demons in general were so slow she had a knife in them before they even thought to throw the first punch. Straightening, she pulled her hair back with a leather cord then sat down on one of the rock formations. It was only a matter of minutes until the ceremony began, and not much else to do but wait.

Kaya watched the many soldiers along the walls, weapons ready and their eyes on Buffy. The Slayer was standing at the forefront, armed with a sword and nothing else, staring motionless into the black gateway. With some help from the witches she had recovered well, physically at least. Kaya was a little reluctant to admit even to herself that the half-pint Slayer had done an impressive job of putting together a strategy. Even though she was clearly in a great deal of emotional pain the Slayer was every bit the warrior. Kaya felt the knot in her stomach stir again. She hated the woman, or at least the wished she did. Hated how pretty she was, how strong, smart and brave she was. But most of all she hated the fact that she couldn't help but admire her. Buffy had an air of goodness about her that was hard to escape. She made you want to do your best, even if you weren't sure why. Like now, for instance. They were minutes from fighting the battle of a lifetime that would probably kill them all and the Slayer just stood there, back straight, head high, sword in hand. Never flinching, not one sign of fear or doubt. She would see them through this; all they had to do was follow. Angel was like that too. Kaya had to look away and bite her tongue not to scream. Seeing them together these past few days she had to accept that Angel was not meant for her. To him Buffy was everything and it hurt more than she had expected.

The witches were standing on a ledge some distance from the gateway. Close enough to do their magic-thing but out of harms way. The High Priestess looked like a queen where she stood right at the edge, keeping her eyes fixed on the gateway. She was still impressive but after the little showdown with Buffy she was no longer in charge. Willow stood by her side, looking anything but regal. In fact she looked sick. She had been torn in so many directions in the past few hours Kaya was amazed she was still standing. When the High Priestess had announced that it would be Xander's job to get the crystal from Dacq'ilion while the others fought, Willow had actually objected. Then, when Buffy had agreed, she had seemed so miserable even Kaya had felt sorry for her. Not that she had interfered of course. She wasn't a part of their little group and she didn't care to be either. She was Angel's assistant, nothing else and he would be back soon. Then everything would be all right.

Kaya's eyes eventually landed on Spike. The vampire had kept to himself since the attack, moping around like a wounded dog. Angelus had hurt him pretty badly but at first he hadn't even wanted any healing. It took a stern talking to from Willow to make him submit. Now he sat on a rock, away from the rest, smoking his cigarette, trying hard to look like he wasn't watching Buffy like a hawk. Kaya could never figure him out. They had met on occasion in the past, always on business, a fight against evil or simply an administrative problem. When she first heard about him she had assumed he would be more like Angel. After all they had spent close to half a century together and Angel had always spoken of him with brusque affection. But as it turned out they really couldn't be more different. Where Angel had class and sophistication, Spike was just crude and blunt. And the name! At least Angel had the good sense to change his name after he got a soul. Spike still used the name that related to his favorite torture device! She shook her head and looked away.

"So, do you think he'll make it? Angel, I mean?" the voice came from one of the soldiers who was standing slightly behind her. She gave him a cold stare. She wasn't in a mood to talk, especially not to some idiot who dared question Angel.

"Of course he'll make it!" she snapped.

"Good, I really hope so, cause if he doesn't we're screwed."

"You should probably spend a little more time worrying about doing your own job and less time worrying about other peoples." She hoped he heard the snubbing tone in her voice but to make her point clear she got up and walked some distance away from him. She didn't even want to imagine the possibility that Angel might not come back, let alone talk about it.

Angelus proudly inspected his troops. After the plan to eliminate the Slayer had failed the Teacher had agreed that it was vital to prepare for an attack. Now that the witches knew their plan hadn't worked they were sure to come up with something. But he would be ready. He knew how the witches operated and how Buffy would set up her strategies. He had magicians set up along the walls along the grand hall and they would be able to counter any attempt by the witches to shatter the gateway. And even if the magicians failed, Buffy and her pets would never get close enough to the Teacher to interfere with the ceremony, he had made sure of that.

Based on what he had seen in the cave, Buffy were apparently expecting a lot of werewolves with all the silver bullets she had gathered, so he had decided to give them werewolves. It had taken some physical pain on their part to get the specially bred werewolves the Teacher had brought in, obey his command but eventually they had learnt their lesson. Now they stood in a long line at the front, grinding their sharp teeth, snarling and twitching, jerking their chains from time to time. They would fall easily of course but they were only there as a distraction. Crouching behind them were the real threat, a dozen Urgolty demons; ugly, smelly little critters with the brain of a house fly but the outcrops on their bodies shot out poisoned darts capable of killing almost all living things. Behind them he had ordered five dozen Garuli demons to take up position. They had been very eager to prove their fighting skills to the Teacher since their last failure and he had, in his infinite wisdom, decided to give them a second chance. In addition to that, there were representatives of at least fourteen different demon-clans, all eager to be a part of this glorious battle.

There were other things too, things lurking in the shadows. It had taken Angelus some time to discover just how to utilize this particular location to its fullest but he felt very proud of himself over the result. The entire building was made of some strange form of liquid metal. It mostly felt hard, cold and smooth to touch but if you knew how, it was possible to change it to whatever shape you desired and you could also put things inside. After some interesting experiments he had discovered that at least three types of demons could survive in this metallic liquid. The fiercest of them was a Pa'rlk, a large, octopus-like creature whom the Teacher had encountered in a rarely visited dimension. It had taken some persuasion to convince it to unite with them but the creature had eventually succumbed to the many promises and threats given and had now taken up position deep within the wall itself, with the honorable mission of protecting the Teacher himself.

The Teacher was sitting on a large, ornate throne, his white beard glistening against the bright read mantle. Behind him was a large window to the world they inhabited; a dark, barren land with endless storms and hurricanes tearing at its soil. Angelus liked this place. It was powerful, unrelenting and unforgiving, just like him. With the Teacher's encouragement, Angelus had finally risen to the highest level of power and he was given the respect he had never known before, but always knew he deserved. As he made his way across the room, each lethal demon he past respectfully stepped out of his way, head or tentacles bowed in awe. The remaining fighters from the Varnush clan crossed their arms over their chests as a sign of honor. After he had killed their old leader they had come to treat Angelus as their new one and he took great satisfaction in that.

When he reached the center of the room, he took his place slightly below the throne. He looked up at the impressive sight of the Teacher in his bright red mantle, proudly surveying the scene below him. Angelus tilted his head respectfully.

"Everything is ready, Teacher." he said. The old man looked at him with affection.

"You have done well my son." he replied gracefully and he felt a surge of joy but also regret. All those years lost because of his love of his sire! He could kick himself. But at least now he was exactly where he was supposed to be. Suddenly he could hear a vague murmur coming from the black gateway in front of them. It was time. The Teacher closed his eyes and began a chant that soon filled every part of this magnificent hall. Angelus stood firm, his back straight, his head held high, eyes on the gateway. Soon it would become transparent and those on the other side could see, see him, the powerful Angelus at his Teacher's side, and they would know their time had come!

Xander crouched on the ground under a rock-ledge, as far from the gateway as he dared. He had thrown up a few times since the High and Mighty Priestess had told him he had to grab the crystal from under Dacq'ilion's nose and now he pressed his hand to his stomach, sure he would hurl again. He tried to concentrate on breathing deeply, closing his eyes so he could pretend he was somewhere else. A part of him was proud that they had selected him for this important job but mostly he just wanted to run away. When he opened his eyes again, after he was reasonably sure he had his stomach under control, he saw someone approaching from the corner of his eye. When he turned to see who it was he was surprised to see Spike casually strolling towards him. When he reached Xander he knelt down next to him, giving him an unusually sympathetic look. Xander held his breath, not sure what to expect. Spike hesitated for a moment then said,

"Look, I know you and I aren't exactly palls. My fault probably... Anyway, I just wanted you to know that in my book you've got bigger balls than anyone else in here." He thought for a bit before he continued, "You know Willow and Buffy wouldn't let you go through with this if they didn't think you could do it, right?" Spike looked at him questioningly. Xander couldn't help but stare at him. This was the first serious conversation they had ever had in over ten years of knowing each other. The very idea that Spike showed so much respect for _him_, the idiot who always screwed everything up, was mind-boggling. He wasn't sure how to respond, so he just nodded, even though he didn't feel sure about that at all. Spike nodded too, as if that was all that was needed. He put a strong hand on Xander's shoulder and the honesty in his voice almost made Xander want to weep.

"Don't worry, we've got your back. Just keep your eyes on the price. It'll be over in no time." Then he rose and walked back to his designated position, right behind Buffy. She threw Xander a quick glance and what seemed like an encouraging nod then turned her attention back to the gateway. Xander took a few deep breathes. He wasn't sure how to feel, but a strange sense of ease filled him. He straightened a bit. Maybe he could do this after all, maybe... He froze. A murmur was emanating from the pillars guarding the gateway. Inside them something stirred. Slowly the murmur grew louder and the vague movements became clearer; limbs thrashing, distorted facing appearing and disappearing. The noise now filled the cave and to Xander's horror he realized what it was; the shrieks and moans of thousands of souls in immeasurable pain.

The blackness of the gateway faded, turning to gray, then more and more transparent. When he could see the other side, he actually started to tremble. Hundreds of demons, one more hideous than the other, werewolves by the dozens, eager to rip the flesh off his bones, creatures with weapons, claws and fangs, and all of them were staring right at him! Just when he thought he couldn't take it anymore he saw Angel. He was standing tall, his hands casually behind his back, a malicious smile on his face and his eyes fixed on Buffy. Xander gasped for air, his heart beating so fast he thought it would explode. Without thinking he looked over at Spike. The old vampire hadn't moved. He still stood as calmly as ever, leaning slightly on his long sword, nonchalantly smoking his cigarette while watching the scene in front of him. Buffy didn't seem too concerned either, her eyes never wavering from Angel's stare. Xander breathed deeply. It was going to be all right. It had to be.

Angelus felt exhilarated, intoxicated even. Everything was going according to plan. The fear on the faces of his opponents was obvious, the bloodthirst of his troops palpable. And Buffy had never looked more vulnerable as she stood so far below him, trembling, waiting for him to end her misery. The Teacher was fulfilling his destiny and he, Angelus, was right by his side. This was the best day of his life! He was the chosen one, the ultimate... strange... something happening... no! The witches had done something to him, he had to stop them...must focus, stay calm...pain...something pulling him down...NO! Falling deeper and deeper... clawing at the fading light... had to fight... mustn't let them do this... NOT AGAIN...NOOO! Gone.

Angel swayed a bit, shifted his stance, tried to stay on his feet. He could still hear the demon scream deep within him. What happened? He looked around, disoriented, confused. The demon Dacq'ilion was right behind him, his wrinkled hands clutching the Crystal, his chant echoing through the hall and mixing with the insufferable shrieks and moans of tortured souls. Hundreds of demons looked back at him suspiciously. He wanted to cringe but knew they would kill him in a second if he showed any sign of weakness. Then, beyond the grayish, transparent gateway, he saw Buffy. Her eyes were fixed on him, calm and focused. Slowly memories began to flood his mind, painful and horrifying. He had to force himself not run, swallowed hard not to scream. Then he heard a faint voice inside his head. He couldn't make out what it said, too much pain and the eerie chant and shrieks blocking all coherent thought. But the voice persisted and finally he heard Willow repeating the word _gateway_ over and over again. He suddenly realized what it meant.

The two guardians of the gateway stood only a few feet from him, their arms stretched out, their bodies swaying to the rhythm of the chant. It would be easy enough to kill them the problem was the second he did his cover was blown. The Urgoltys hiding behind the werewolves had to be eliminated before Buffy came within range of their poisonous darts. Angel blocked out Willow's incessant chattering in his head and ran through the best course of action in his mind. He carefully lifted the sword, a strangely light weapon with intricate ornaments along the shaft and blade. Memories of the unique quality of the special metal rushed back to him and he had to draw on all his strength not to fall over. His mind was starting to feel very crowded, with the memories, his own feelings, his demonic counterpart still screaming and Willow, all fighting for space.

It was with a great sense of relief that he let himself concentrated all his energy on the kill. In an elegant flow of motion he chopped the heads of the guardians then quickly moved down to the ground floor, slashing demons left and right as he went. His focus was on the Urgoltys but he could sense the erupting chaos around him. The chanting even stopped for a second before it resumed again with greater urgency. The shrieks of pain had stopped and he assumed the gateway had been shut down. He had to hurry, Buffy wouldn't wait. He could hear the roars of the werewolves as the silver bullets hit them. When he reached the Urgoltys he started to pick them off one by one. Luckily they were easy enough to kill and so far the other demons didn't seem to know what to do. But that wouldn't last.

Buffy breathed deeply. This was it, the battle they had been waiting for. Finally. She gripped the sword a little tighter, felt the weight of it. It was a comforting feeling although she missed the simplicity of the wooden stake. Riley had ordered his men to fire and bullets were whizzing past her but she stood her ground. The soldiers had no problem eliminating the strangely high amount of werewolves so there wasn't even a need for her to get near them. She saw Angel thrashing about behind them. She couldn't see what it was he was fighting but for some reason he had been in a hurry to get there. The other demons had been rather dumb-struck at his sudden change. Apparently they had come to put a lot more faith in Angelus than she had anticipated but as long as it worked in their advantage she wasn't about to complain. But now they were starting to move in on him, clearly still not aware that the gateway had been shut down. Most werewolves lay dead on the floor, some reverting to their normal form, which to Buffy's relief was not human. Werewolves made out of demons, that was an interesting thought. Seconds later she had rushed through the gateway, sword held high, aiming at the horde of demons charging for Angel. She noticed the strange, small brownish creatures laying dead at his feat, thinking for a second it was odd that he had been so keen on killing such seemingly harmless things then she let go of all thought and focused entirely on the fight.

The demons head came off easy when her sharp sword cut through flesh and bone. On the rebound she pulled it into another demons side, kicked off another, blocking the knife of a third with her free arm. Angel was already on the ground, covered in blood from the many wounds he had sustained, but he was still fighting. Two more demons crashed in front of her, the sword in her hand moving too fast for any on them to escape. A sharp pain made her jerk away but seconds later she her sword pierced the demon before he had a chance to get her again. She ignored the wound in her side. It would heal soon enough. She had to get Angel out of there, they needed him if Xander was going to stand a chance. She could hear roars, groans and curses behind her. Spike was close, she could sense it. A quick glance was all she afforded herself and to her surprise she saw Spike busy cutting the heads off werewolves. Some of them had apparently not died. Riley and his men had begun to pour in through the gateway, fighting in groups of five, making sure no one had their backs unguarded. It took at least five of them to defeat one demon but their job was to clear a path for Xander, not kill all the demons in here.

When she reached Angel he had fought off the demons enough to get up from the floor. She pulled her sword in one ugly looking thing with horns everywhere, before he could put his knife in Angel's back. Angel turned around just in time to see the demon crash to the floor, the knife slipping from its grip. As their eyes met time froze. The pain she saw on his face felt like hot rods piercing her heart. She rammed her fist in a demon almost without noticing, not taking her eyes from his. She couldn't breathe and all thought was incoherent. Suddenly a sharp claw cut into her left arm and she let out a cry of pain, pulling both of them out of their temporary paralysis. She had dropped the sword and was forced to fight unarmed. With a fury building up from years of emotional trauma and agonizing burden, she unleashed all her strength on this unsuspecting demon, literally beating it to death with her fists. When she was finished she felt strangely relived. The pain inside was gone and all she could feel was the joy of the kill. She heard herself laughing, as she picked up her sword and started cutting through anything that moved, anything that would get in her way. She was the Slayer!

Xander made himself crawl the last few feet towards the gateway and then crouched close to the wall, making himself as small as possible. The thought of actually going inside made him shake all over. He was getting too old for this. He could see Buffy, Angel and Spike drawing all the attention, fighting their way through droves of demons, more than he had ever seen before in one place. Riley and his men had positioned themselves as they had agreed, giving him a clear path close to the wall. The witches kept the magicians busy with fireballs flying through the air as well as the occasional lightening-bolt. They were all doing their part, now it was up to him. He just wished he could have had a little more courage. Dawn had a lot of courage. He had always admired that about her... He clenched his fists. This was no time to be thinking about Dawn. He had to pull himself together!

He took a deep breath then slowly crept through the gateway. With all his heart he hoped no one would notice him as he made his way up towards the throne and the demon with the long beard and the ridiculous red cape. He didn't stand a chance against any of these demons. A vampire or two he might be able to handle, but this crowed was a tuff match even for Riley's trained and slightly enhanced men. But Willow had promised she would keep an eye on him and he hoped she could. With all the craziness in here it would be easy to miss one tiny, pathetic creature painstakingly making his way towards certain doom.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Spike rammed his sword for the tenth time into the body of something that would not die. Dacq'ilion had clearly summoned all the nastiest of demons to this party. Not that he minded terribly. He hadn't been getting nearly enough exercise lately. But he had to admit he was getting a bit tired. Xander better hurry. At first they had thought they could make their way to Dacq'ilion and the crystal by force, if for some reason Xander failed, but now it was getting obvious that wasn't going to happen. Xander was their only hope and time was running out. The ceremony would be over soon and if Dacq'ilion gained the powers of the crystal it would all be over. He ducked away from one of the same kind of demons he had met in the cave a few hours ago. There seemed to be an endless supply of them. For every one he killed two more were there to take its place. Luckily they weren't hard to kill.

A heavy fist came out of nowhere and landed right on his chin making him lose his balance. He fell hard, dropping his sword but a split second later he was off the ground again. He barely managed to block a clawed paw coming at him, then feinted the creature and came up behind it, using all his weight he snapped its neck. As the demon fell to the ground, he noticed Kaya in close combat with one of the horn-clad demons. He stood there a few seconds, watching her. It was the first time he had ever seen her in an actual battle. Angel always tried to keep her out of those things. He had assumed it was because she was bad at it but she actually held up well against this one. Just as he was about to get on with his own massacre, she fell. He had learnt the hard way that if you hit the floor you have to get up real fast or the demon will have all the advantage. But she stayed down too long.

The demon was beating her up badly, and after a few hits she no longer could block his punches. When her energy failed the demon reached for a knife. He dodged a big hairy creature that came at him with some kind of a sledge, then took three long leaps and was just in time to ram his sword in the demons back and toss him out of the way, before the knife pierced her skin. He looked at her, face bloodied and eyes still filled with fear.

"You OK?" he shouted over the ruckus, offering her his hand to help her up. The fear in her eyes changed and her normal defiance filled them again.

"Of course I am." she replayed curtly, ignoring his hand as she got up on her own. While brushing out some wrinkles in her outfit she added, "I could have handled him." She went over to the dead demon and pulled a couple of knifes from its body and put them back on her person. Spike just stared at her then he had to smile. When she noticed him standing there smiling broadly at her, anger flashed in her unusual eyes.

"What are you standing there for? Go, kill! Angel needs you." She then turned her back on him, picked up a short ax one of the demons had dropped and went off to help Riley with a few hard to kill werewolves. He laughed. She was something else all right. Seconds later two demons charged for him and he had to focus on the fight once more.

In the middle of a particularly intense sparing session he found himself fighting back to back with Angel. Over the noise of the battle and the chanting Angel shouted over his shoulder,

"Spike, what's the plan here?" Spike moved forward, stabbing his sword in an undefended part of the demons body and then turned to help Angel with his adversary. When that demon lay dead too there was a brief moment of calm around them and he nodded towards Xander, who had reached the stairs leading up to the throne and Dacq'ilion. For some reason Angel suddenly looked absolutely panicked, started shouting to Buffy while grabbing him by the arm, dragging him along towards Xander. He tried to pull him back, screaming at him not to draw any attention to Xander. Angel stopped long enough to point to the wall and yelled Pa'rlk. The word meant nothing to him but he could see it meant a lot to Angel so he ran after him. Buffy stayed were she was, clearly not understanding why he would abandon their plan. But as he caught up to Angel he saw what had made the big guy so rattled. Something was moving inside the wall. At first he couldn't make out what it was, only that shadows shifted on the strange metallic wall but as Xander got closer to it the contours of something that looked like arms was starting to bulge from the surface.

Xander had his focus on Dacq'ilion and nothing else. He slowly crept up along the tall steps, holding his breath and silently whispering a prayer. The bearded dude held the crystal in a outstretched hand, giving him one small chance of grabbing it, if Willow did her job right. Dacq'ilion's chanting seemed to reach its climax and he knew he had to move fast. From the corner of his eye he thought he saw something stir inside the wall, but he pushed it aside, told himself not to let his imagination get the better of him. A few more steps and he would be able to get to the crystal... just a little closer... He forced himself to breathe and kept his attention on the crystal. One more move and it would be in his hands. One more deep breathe... Willow better be watching this! OK, here goes nothing...

Angel screamed out loud. Of all people, not Xander! The Pa'rlk was coming out of its hiding, the long, razor sharp tentacles reaching for the invader. But it wasn't the Pa'rlk that made him scream. Dacq'ilion had clearly noticed Xander approaching but instead of alerting him and giving Xander a chance to run, he had waited, continued the ceremony. The thing in his forehead was glowing and he knew better than anyone what that meant. Right now he would have done anything to be able to take Xander place, but it was too late. As he and Spike began to cut their way through the many tentacles of the Pa'rlk, a surprised Xander was hoisted three feet up in the air, held up-side down by an invisible force.

Willow and the other witches delivered what they had promised would be a decisive blow to Dacq'ilion, an electrical surge that was designed to throw him off balance long enough for Xander to get the crystal. At least that part of the plan seemed to work. For several seconds Dacq'ilion went silent, pressed back against the seat, his hands shaking and his eyes glaring at the witches on the other side of the gateway. But the spell had no effect on his powers and Xander was trapped in mid air, unable to move. When the spell faded Dacq'ilion started to laugh, a harsh, terrifying noise that filled the hall and beyond. He still clutched the crystal and with the other hand he gestured towards Xander.

Angel forced himself to think. There was no way to kill the Pa'rlk. That had been one of the reasons Angelus had been so keen on recruiting it. For every limb you cut off the creature grew another. Sooner or later it would inflict enough wounds on the two vampires to make them too tired to fight back and then it would pull them into its mouth and slowly begin to devour them. There wasn't a single creature in any dimension that this thing couldn't eat. Trying to fight it was a losing proposition, but somehow he had to get past it and reach Xander.

Buffy joined them, and he flinched when he noticed her eyes. There was coldness in them he had never seen before. But he had no time to worry about that now. She nodded towards the Pa'rlk and dodged one of its many tentacles trying to cut her.

"A friend of yours?" she asked sarcastically before cutting off a tentacle, only to watch it grow back again. She sighed heavily then cut that one off too.

"So, any chance we can kill this thing?" she said. Spike also seemed interested to know, giving Angel a hard stare, before ducking under another tentacle in the last minute. He shook his head and nodded towards Dacq'ilion, motioning to his own sword. A tentacle came at him and he cut it off then looked back at Buffy to make sure she understood. She nodded and started to slash her way towards him. He needed them to watch his back if he was to get to Dacq'ilion. Xander was screaming now, a high pitched shriek of inexplicable pain. Buffy didn't seem to react but Spike froze for a second and stared at the twisted body hanging in the air. He gave Angel a warning look that said he better not lose Xander then he resumed his battle with the lethal Pa'rlk.

He felt a strange reluctance, as he positioned himself closer to Dacq'ilion. He had warm memories of this demon being a respected mentor, a teacher in the arts of torment. Why that should matter now he couldn't imagine but it did. It felt like he was about to kill his father. And this time it was a father he had loved.

When he had managed to get close enough to do any damage, Dacq'ilion suddenly turned his head and looked at him. The crystal in his hand began to glow and the light slowly grew stronger, surrounding them both. Before he had a chance to react he was trapped inside a magical, protective bubble that not only shielded them from the witches energy-blasts but also shut out all noise. It was silent and he found himself unable to move. Dacq'ilion fixed his eyes intently on him.

"So, the witches succeeded in their evil scheme, after all. They have once again robbed you of your strength and power. That is a true shame. We would have made quite a team, you and I." The old man looked deeply saddened and he wanted to cry. He felt the loss as strongly as the old demon, yet he knew he had forgotten something important, he just couldn't remember what. Suddenly something changed in Dacq'ilion's eyes. A spark of hope.

"Perhaps there is still time, my son." he said and leaned in a bit closer, his long beard sparkling in the enchanting glow of the crystal. He tried desperately to remember, but the world, his life, everything up until this moment seemed so far away, distant and easily forgotten. When Dacq'ilion spoke again his voice was low, almost a whisper, drawing him closer to him.

"I can return to you everything they stole. I can make you strong again, powerful and respected. Give me your hand and I promise you eternal happiness. No more fear, no more pain, no more endless fighting. You and I will rule the world in peace! Come with me, Angelus! Come with me!" Dacq'ilion's hand was reaching out to him and he stared at it. A surge of emotions welled up from deep inside him, an overpowering desire to take the offer, to let go and embrace his destiny. But something held him back. He tried to focus, to recall a memory, a sound, a vague image of something forth fighting for. But he remembered nothing except the pride and joy he had felt as Angelus, standing behind his troops, fighting for true power. He really wanted to take the old man's hand and follow him anywhere. He wanted it so badly he could taste it. So the decision was made and he was just about to put down his sword when he suddenly saw it; a reflection in the polished surface of the blade. She fought so gracefully, her slender limbs perfectly balanced to adapt to any attack and her unyielding strength never wavering no matter what the opposition. Memories of her flooded his mind and blocked out all others. Without hesitation he lifted his sword and let it glide effortlessly into the demons skull, cutting right through the source of his power.

A blinding light flashed behind her. Buffy had all but given up on him but it seemed Angel came through after all. The creature she had been fighting gave up a piercing screech and retreated inside the wall again. She looked around, not sure what to do now. Spike was doing a rather elegant somersault and landed right under Xander, catching him miraculously before he pummeled to the floor. Spike was covered in blood and clearly weakened, his knees actually buckling under Xander's weight. But he pulled himself up again and tossed the shaking body over his shoulder. Then she noticed that Spike was covered in blood and as she looked down, she realized she was too. Strange, she didn't feel any pain. Probably a good thing. Spike was trying to shout something to her, but she couldn't hear him. He gestured towards Angel and that's when she noticed her former boyfriend was stumbling around as if he was drunk. Suddenly the floor started moving, and the roof began to drip, strange metallic drops that actually made a small hole when they landed on the floor. Staying here meant death, that much was obvious. She looked at Angel, still stumbling around, seemingly blind and helplessly moving in the wrong direction. She hesitated. If she didn't help him they would both die. She didn't want him to die. So she would help him.

It felt strange to move. Everything felt like slow-motion, like the world didn't affect her. She noticed the crystal on the floor in front of her. It must have fallen from Dacq'ilion's hand when Angel killed him. She leaned down to pick it up. It was a lot smaller than she had imagined and it felt cold in her hand, like ice. Without thinking much of it she tucked it in her pocket and grabbed Angel's arm. He fought her at first then calmed down and allowed her to lead him down the stairs. Spike was ahead of them, throwing nervous glances in their direction. The occasional demon stood in her way but they all seemed to realize the world was crashing down on them so they scurried out of the way quickly enough. When they had made it passed the gateway, she let go of Angel's arm and walked away from him. She had saved his life that was all that mattered. A part of her wanted to go back inside the gateway but she had to give Willow the crystal first.

Willow said something to her when she gave her the crystal but she couldn't hear her. Maybe the flash of light that had made Angel blind had made her deaf. It didn't really matter, though. There was nothing left she particularly wanted to hear. Her work here was done. She deserved to rest now. She felt the ground shake again. Clearly whatever had affected one world affected the other. So she would die here. Angel seemed to have regained his eye-sight. He could find his own way out. She saw Riley hurrying his men out of the cave, or at least the ones left standing. His team had suffered a lot of casualties, only about half of them it seemed had made it. Well, they knew it was a chance they wouldn't make it back. Even some of the witches had fallen too, apparently. Strange, she had always thought of them as invincible.

Spike was heaving the still shaking Xander over his shoulder again, with considerable effort. But instead of making his way up the stairs with the others he hesitated, watching her for some reason. Angel was still there too. She looked around. The whole cave was moving; rocks were falling down, large cracks opened up in the floor. Only the four of them remained, although Spike was slowly making his way towards the stairs. Angel on the other hand was walking towards her. The fool! What was he doing? He was talking to her; she could see his lips move. He grabbed her arm, tried to pull her away from where she stood. She hit him hard enough to make him lose his balance. He came for her again and she hit him again. He didn't hit her back, only reached out to her, his eyes pleading. Eventually she couldn't take it any more. He wasn't supposed to die here but he clearly wouldn't leave without her. So she started to run, ignored him, simply ran. Leaped over a crack almost six feet wide, then raised up the stairs. She could feel him right behind her and Spike had finally started to run in front of her. And so they ran, up winding passages, through caves, dodging falling rocks as they went along. Once she lost her balance when the ground under her shook and she crashed into the wall. She stood there staring for a moment, surprised to see so much blood on the wall. Then Angel came and pulled her along, pushed her to move, wouldn't leave her.

After what seemed like an eternity, she saw what seemed like stars ahead. It was night. The full moon lit up the desert with a magical glow and as they ran through the entrance into the night, Buffy felt a strange sense of relief. It was over. They had once again saved the world, and for her it would be the last time. Most of the choppers had already taken off, only two remained. She saw Willow helping Xander and Spike into one, while Giles stood outside the other, seemingly waiting for something. Fear was written all over his face, a fear she had never seen in him before. She didn't understand. What was there to be afraid of? They had made it. The ground shook once again under her feet and the sand shifted. She saw the ground come at her before she realized she had fallen. She didn't have the strength to get up. The sand turned red around her, glistening like tiny rubies in the light of the moon. She closed her eyes, felt herself rise above the ground, as if lifted by an invisible force. Then it was dark.

Angel gently put her down on the blanket Giles had spread out on the floor of the chopper.

"She's lost a lot of blood." he said, more to himself than to anyone else. Giles carefully washed off some of the blood from her face, as the chopper took off into the night sky.

"I'm afraid our Slayer has lost something far worse than that." he said quietly, tears glistening in his eyes. Angel curled up by the window. If he focused hard enough he could hear her breathe above the loud thumping of the chopper blades. It was the only comforting thing he had to cling on to now. Looking out the window he could see the cave they had just left minutes ago, collapse into itself, leaving a gaping, black hole, which quickly filled up with sand. Soon there would be nothing to mark this place, nothing to indicate that anything special had ever happened there.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

It was with an overwhelming relief Willow stepped across the threshold. She breathed in the smell of herbs and potions, listened hard to pick up the soft humming of the magical shield that kept evil out and silently blessed the familiar faces that met her with warm hugs and earnest congratulations. She was home. There was always such a comforting feeling of safety to this place, like no harm would ever come to her here, or to any of her friends. The large hallway was full of people scurrying about to get things done. Fridha had taken charge of the dead they brought home. They would be placed in a sacred crypt after the proper ceremony had been performed. Willow wished she wasn't quite so accustomed to it. There had been too many girls lost in the past few years, more than ever before in the coven's long history. But at least it was over now. The danger had been averted, balance restored and the world saved. Catherine was already preparing to destroy the crystal and then everything would go back to normal again.

Willow watched as Buffy went past her and up the stairs without a word. Her body had healed well and she was able to walk on her own now, but her mind was still gone, trapped behind a wall of pain. She was barely responding and her reflexes were gone. She was pretty much helpless. It wasn't the first time Buffy had gone astray in her own mind and she had always managed to pull through in the end. Willow hoped she would do so again, but she couldn't help but wonder. So much had happened to her and no slayer had ever lived this long. Giles was worried too. He had kept close to her since they escaped the cave. Now he quietly followed her up the stairs, after a quick nod to Willow. Concern was written all over his face and for all his speeches to other potential watchers not to get too attached to their charges, he couldn't hide the fact that he thought of Buffy as a daughter. Her pain was his, and no amount of words or rules would change that.

Willow was just about to go upstairs to her own room when Xander was brought in. He was still unconscious and Willow had to swallow hard not to let her emotions get the better of her. This had been the hardest part. The thought of losing Xander almost tore her apart. She knew it hadn't been her choice but she still felt responsible. The witches carried Xander using levitation and he looked so peaceful as he floated on air towards his room. Angel and Spike walked in behind him, with Deanna following close by. As soon as she had made sure Angel and Spike had made it inside, safe from the rays of the setting sun, she practically ran up the stairs to catch up to Xander. Willow noted with some surprise that there was an unusual eagerness in the way Deanna had stayed close to Xander since they had left Africa. It was the first time she had seen Deanna showing affection for anyone since she got here. Not that Willow minded, Deanna was a nice girl and Xander deserved to be happy. She just hoped he didn't screw this up the way he usually did. Willow was just about to walk up the stairs when Angel suddenly grabbed her arm and pulled her back. He leaned down so that he had his face right next to hers and there was an intensity in his eyes that made her want to run, but he held her in an iron grip.

"Make him forget!" he urged in a hoarse voice. Willow stared at him, at first not sure what he meant. He then nodded towards the stairs where Xander had just vanished out of site.

"Xander." he said, "Make him forget!"

"What do you mean? You know I can't do that!" She was stunned that he would ask that of her, he of all people knew what that meant to her. But he just leaned in even closer and his eyes were full of anger.

"I know exactly what you can do. You have to take away his memories of this day or you will never forgive yourself. I will never forgive you!" Everyone around them had stopped and stared. After Buffy had repeatedly ignored him he had developed a foul mood and there were those who feared his new soul hadn't been permanent. But Willow had been there when the Powers had promised to return his soul and as much as she might dislike the higher beings at times they never lied or failed to deliver. All that of course made this conversation even more disturbing.

"Why... How can you ask me to do that again?" she stammered, her voice choking.

"You can't let him wake up and remember this day." he answered and tightened his grip a little harder. Willow made herself breathe and straightened her back. She tried to make her voice sound as stern as possible when she said,

"I have no doubt it was a terrible ordeal but Xander knew the risks and he has been through a lot before too and always made it through. I think you need to give him a little more credit. I understand he is your friend and..." Angel tightened his grip around her arms to the point of pain and lifted her up, forcing her to stand on her toes as he hissed,

"You understand nothing." She felt tears well up in her eyes and tried to pull free from him. She didn't want to use magic on him. It was one of the things she had vowed a long time ago never to do, but it was getting hard to resist. There was more darkness in his eyes than she had ever seen before and his voice had a hint of evil she had hoped he had left behind.

"You have no idea..." he spat at her but before he could continue the sentence Spike stepped in.

"OK, that's enough! I have no idea what in the bloody hell you're babbling about but you better let her go or you and I will just have to finish what we started back there." Angel looked at him, his eyes dark and for a second it seemed he would take him up on the offer but Kaya came in between them, her strange eyes filled with tears.

"Don't do this! This isn't right!" she sounded so desperate, looking at Angel and Spike with equal amount of horror. Angel stared at her for a moment then blinked. As he looked around he actually seemed surprised to see them all watching him and when he saw Willow he flinched.

"I'm sorry," he said and immediately let her go, "but you don't understand." The anger in his eyes were suddenly gone and replaced by such sadness it made her want to weep. Spike however wasn't impresses. He scoffed, then said in a mocking tone,

"Please explain it then, oh wise one. But don't go on like a doddering old fart, we all like to get some rest before next doomsday, if you don't mind." Spike had pulled back a bit but Willow thought she noticed a faint regret in his eyes about the fight that didn't happen. The beating he had suffered at the hands of Angelus had apparently taken its toll. Angel though, seemed anything but victories as he turned away from them, his voice overflowing with pain as he began to speak,

"I knew him. Dacq'ilion. We met a long time ago, long before you were born." he motioned towards Spike then sat down heavily on the stairs. "He found me, taught me...things...things I had forgotten...wish I could forget again..." he clenched his fists, his shoulders hunched over and his face clearly expressed the suffering his words left out. But when he continued he turned directly towards Willow, his voice filled with the urgency of someone who really needs to convince. "Dacq'ilion's powers lies in his ability to get inside the minds of his victims. He can read your thoughts and learn your greatest fear. Then he uses that and creates images in you head that are as real as if you lived it. The worst pain you can possibly imagine and he can make it real." Tears rolled down his cheeks but he didn't seem to notice. Willow couldn't breathe. How could they not have known that Dacq'ilion had mind powers? They had studied him so closely... how could they have missed that? Angel got up slowly, with considerable effort, and took a few steps closer to her.

"Willow, I know what this means, but I can not stress strongly enough how important it is that Xander is not allowed to wake up with these memories. I have seen demons tear out their own heart just to get away from the thoughts he put in their head. I can't bear to see Xander go through that and I know you can't either. You have to trust me, Willow! Make him forget!" That was all she needed to hear. Willow nodded then walked quickly past him and up the stairs. She believed him and despite every part of her body screaming in despair she would do this one more time. She would do it to a friend because she had failed him and put him unprotected in the hands of ultimate evil.

_Shrieks of pain, blood flowing, red and full of promise... "the nectar of pleasure". It tastes better when they suffer! Head twisted, eyes filled with pleading, poor little thing! Would rather be somewhere else! Not so lucky, stay and play...know their fears...understand. His first...a beauty. He studied her; watched her walk to church, holding her brothers hands, politely chatting with the priest. He watched her at work, her back bent over the crops, sweat pouring down her shirt, talking happily with her friends, laughing. At night she would check on the cows before bed. Such a sweet girl, so considerate, so pleasant to be with, so loving with her family. He seduced her, made her want him, made her feel desire. Then took away everyone she loved. Made her watch, made her feel. Then he finished her, drank her slowly, watched her fear turn to madness. His first. Her name was Marie. _

Angel woke up with a start. The sheets were wet and tangled, his body colder than usual but glistening with sweat and still shaking. The dream felt so real. Who was he kidding? It was real. He had been there, done those things. So much he had chosen to forget. The memories were back now though, with a vengeance. There was no redemption. He got up and washed his face with some cold water from the bowl on the dresser. He could still feel the monster inside him, a demon that deserved to suffer eternity in hell. He could hear a sickening laughter deep inside him, his true self waiting to be freed again. He clenched his fists and straightened his back. He couldn't let that happen. No matter what, he could never let that beast roam free again! He needed to calm down, clear his head. It felt like it took forever to put his clothes on and when he tried to button up his shirt his hands were shaking so hard he couldn't do it. A coarse laugh escaped his throat. Was this what he had been reduced to? He gave up on the shirt and left the room.

He wasn't sure how he got there. He had wandered the hallways like a ghost for what seemed like an eternity but now he suddenly found himself outside her door. He could sense her inside, the soft smell of her filling his head until he no longer could stand the distance. He knocked quietly. No answer. She was probably asleep. He opened the door careful and peeked inside. She was sitting by the fire, motionless but clearly awake. He hesitated for a moment, not sure if he could endure her cold stares or her silence. But in the end his needs took over and he went inside. He had to be with her, even if it was just sitting quietly next to her. She didn't seem to be aware of him approaching and when he kneeled down beside her it took a long time before she even looked at him. He took a few deep breathes, inhaling her sent. It made him feel a little better and for a moment he could almost forget the memories. But when she turned to look at him her eyes, cold and void of emotion, struck heavy blows to his already bruised body. He flinched and looked away, the exhaustion returning, making his limbs feel like lead. He was just about to leave her when she suddenly spoke.

"You should have let me die." There was no emotion in her words, simply a statement. He stared at her in shock.

"You know I could never do that. I love you." he replied, still stunned that she would even suggest it.

"You have with others. Why not me?"

"What...what do you mean?" his voice barely carried and at this point he couldn't have moved even it he had wanted to.

"You loved Cordelia, didn't you? You let her die. And Dawn." The words cut him like razor blades, the pain making him cringe where he sat, tears welling up in his eyes. She didn't even react. She simply watched him calmly with as much feeling as a machine. This wasn't the Buffy he knew, he had to remind himself of that. But she was still there, somewhere deep inside the body in front of him. If he could only reach her, remind her of who she was, what they had.

"You're right," he said, surprised at how steady his voice sounded, "I did love Cordelia and Fred and Dawn. And I lost them all. I did my best and it wasn't enough. But if you think I'm going to let you die just because you want to, you really don't know me." She blinked, then tilted her head slightly as if she tried to make sense of what he had said.

"But if you love me, shouldn't you honor my wishes?"

"Not that. You can't expect me to watch you die and do nothing."

"Why not? When I'm gone a new Slayer will be called. And you would be free. Free to love someone else." He swallowed hard. Holding his temper was getting difficult with every part of his body wanting to scream. He leaned in a little closer, drawing on the last bit of strength he had, desperately hoping he could get through the wall of pain she had around her.

"I can't let you go Buffy, not like this. You're my compass, my true north. Without you I'm lost and the monster in me will take over. I can't let that happen, not again. I need you! Don't you understand? I need you." He watched her carefully, hoping his plea would somehow have an effect but she just sighed and went back to staring into the flames. He felt sick and the knot in his stomach was threatening to explode. He had to get out. His body reacted slowly, as if he was caught in a bad dream. Eventually he managed to stumble out of her room only to find himself lost again.

Spike lit the cigarette and eagerly inhaled, then let out a big puff of smoke. He had been strictly forbidden to smoke inside the castle and this balcony was closest to his room. The consequences of not abiding by the witches rules would most likely be far worse than he wanted to imagine so here he was, leaning against the wall and gazing up at the stars. They were miles away from civilization and the night sky was full of those tiny dots of light. The moon was almost full and it cast the landscape in every possible shade of gray. Spike shifted his stance a bit. His body still ached after the last ordeal but he couldn't sleep. Something bothered him, like a vague shadow just out of sight. He tried to think of other things, more pleasant things. He would be back in LA soon, back to work. Strangely enough he actually longed for it. As boring as most of it was, at least it felt like home. This place gave him the creeps.

He inhaled again and suddenly in the midst of the smell of tobacco he picked up another sent. He smiled to himself. This was probably the last person he thought would be seeking his company tonight. Kaya came out on the balcony and gave him a quick nod in greeting, then promptly asked,

"Have you seen Angel? I can't find him in his room." Of course she would be looking for Angel. Spike had to think for a second. He could lie, but somehow he felt that wouldn't make things any easier.

"I saw him stumble out of Buffy's room a few minutes ago." he said and exhaled another puff of smoke. She looked at him intently with those strange eyes of hers, then said as a matter of fact,

"You really shouldn't smoke, you know." It was a strange response and he couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah? And why's that then? You think they'll kill me?"

"No, but they stink. And they make your teeth yellow." He laughed then said as seriously as he could manage,

"Yapp, you're absolutely right. OK, then, I'll quit." He tossed the cigarette demonstratively on the balcony floor, but she didn't react, simply looked at him with an unreadable expression on her face. He was just about to crack a joke when he noticed her eyes. He hadn't really looked at them before but in the faint light of the moon the strange coloring became so clear he couldn't take his eyes off them. Her iris was light brown, almost golden, with delicate circles of silver. The pupil in the middle wasn't black like humans but rather a deep, dark green. Those eyes were the most beautiful things he had ever seen. She interrupted his thoughts with an abrupt question, her eyes still locked on him.

"Is it true you and Buffy used to... copulate?" He flinched than became seriously annoyed.

"None of your business." he said and took out his pack of cigarettes and lit another one.

"I just thought you might like to clarify. I mean if it's just rumors then you can deny it." He couldn't imagine why she was so interested in this particular subject but he wasn't about to lie about it either.

"Yeah, we fucked our brains out a couple of times, back in the day. Before I got my soul." He filled his lungs with smoke, then exhaled in her direction before adding, "Why do you care?" She looked away. Clearly this wasn't the answer she had hoped for.

"I just can't understand why everyone is so..." she hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right word, "...so impressed with her. I mean, she's supposed to be this infallible vampire slayer but then she goes and fornicates with not one but two vampires. At least Angel was good..." He could feel the blood rushing to his head and felt the urge to do violence. It took a great deal of willpower to calm down enough to form words. He took a step closer, towering over her when he said gruffly,

"Listen here, I don't know who you think you are, but Buffy is a lot more _infallible_ than you'll ever be! Us...we were just a mistake. She'd gone through a lot back then, sacrificed her life to save the world, to save her sister. She died, see, went to heaven no less, and all would have been roses and cherries if Willow hadn't brought her back. She had to dig her way out of her own grave you know. And I can tell you from personal experience that's no picnic. So you can see why she may have made some less than brilliant choices at the time. But that doesn't give you the bloody right to judge!" he noticed with satisfaction that she actually looked ashamed and perhaps even a little afraid. Then she looked up at him with those beautiful eyes again and in an instant his anger was washed away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." she said and the sincerity in her voice made his knees strangely weak. He actually heard himself stammer in response,

"Yeah, I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to... It's just...she's special to me, you know. I get a bit crazed when anyone talk bad about her. I'm sorry." She nodded as if she understood. She probably did, the way she always stuck up for Angel no matter how stupid the old ponce acted. She smiled a little and he thought he saw her blush. A feeling he hadn't known in ages began to form in his mind. He knew he had felt it before but couldn't quite put his finger on it. It was a nice feeling though.

"Anyway," he said quietly, "if we hadn't...fornicated, I would still be a demon and you lot would be one champion less." She looked up at him and this time he was sure she blushed. A strand of her hair got caught in the gentle breeze and he had to stop himself not to tuck it back behind her ear. His eyes suddenly noticed a gap in her shirt, a small gap that gave just the smallest glimpse of her breast; round, soft, almost white in the pale light of the moon. Her full, red lips were so close to his, all he had to do was lean down and... No! Not Angel's rejects again! He could kick himself. He was not going to fall for her, no way! He had to turn away. With his back to her he looked out over the dark garden below. A shadow caught his eye. Angel was pacing back and forth on the lawn and then sat down on one of the benches, his head resting heavy in his hands.

"There's Angel." he said quietly, just as Kaya was about to leave. She joined him and looked on as Angel was joined by the High Priestess. They were too far away to hear what they said but it seemed she was comforting him.

"What were they like, in the beginning?" Kaya asked quietly with a hint of sadness in her voice. "Buffy and Angel, I mean. They must have been happy once, weren't they?" Spike looked at her, still fighting the urge to kiss her.

"I don't really know." he answered softly. "I suppose so. But I doubt it was ever easy, a vampire slayer and a vampire, seems like an obvious recipe for trouble. You could ask Xander I suppose; he was there for the whole thing." Then he added skeptically, "If he has any memories left after what Willow did to him." He had always been uncomfortable around witchcraft and the idea they could mess with your mind bothered him more than usual.

"I guess you don't really choose who will fill your heart." she said thoughtfully, still watching the scene below. The High Priestess was sitting very close to Angel now, and it was obvious that bothered Kaya. It bothered him too. Kaya sighed then gave him a look he couldn't quite read.

"I guess I should get back to bed." She made a move to leave but lingered for some reason, as if she didn't really want to go. Eventually she did though, and Spike watched her walk away with so many strange knew feelings spinning in his head he completely forgot about Angel and the High Priestess.

Giles rubbed his forehead then put his glasses back on. He was getting a headache. It felt like he had read every book in the library and there were plenty of them to read. Thousands of books in endless rows covered the huge hall. The room stretched at least twenty feet high and twice as long. Three ledges had been built along the walls, creating three floors accessible by small, winding staircases, to utilize the immense height of the hall and house the world's largest collection on books pertaining to the world of magic and the struggle between good and evil. Unfortunately it had been to no avail. There were no other references that might be useful other than the parchment Willow had brought him. He had been searching all night, hoping to find some alternative, something that would miraculously save his Slayer, but he was beginning to fear Willow had been right all along. This might be the only way. But it was risky and the chances were not great. She might turn out worse than she already was. Maybe she just needed time. He knew that wasn't true, yet a part of him still hoped. He sighed heavily. Accepting that Buffy would probably die before him was difficult enough. Slayers rarely lived long, he knew that, but this was different. If she remained in this virtually catatonic state she would be useless as a Slayer but as long as she was still breathing another one couldn't be called. A dilemma he rather not think about.

When Spike walked in Giles barely lifted his head. He greeted everyone with an unusually jolly, "God morning", but Giles ignored him. The library had filled up with people since breakfast. Angel had walked in about half an hour ago and was now pacing back and forth with his head in a book he was pretending to read. Kaya had made herself comfortable in one of the large armchairs so she could keep a close eye on Angel. Willow stopped by every now and then, between her regular visits to Xander's bedside. The spell had gone well; he had no memories of the past three days. Apparently Deanna had been more than willing to fill him in on the events. He deserved to know what had happened even if he didn't have a memory of it.

Giles returned to his books. There had to be another way. Spike asked loudly for a pint of fresh blood and seemed surprised to find a girl standing right behind him with that very thing. They were very attentive to their guests in this place, she had even brought a fresh cup of tea for Giles. He smiled gratefully as he took a sip of the hot beverage. Suddenly Spike turned to Angel with a cheerful tone,

"So, what were you and the High Priestess chatting about last night then?" Giles looked up in surprise. That seemed a bit odd for some reason. Angel barely reacted.

"I don't know what you're talking about Spike." he said absentmindedly, not even looking up.

"Oh, I get it. A secrete rendezvous, ehe? That's OK. Buffy's been giving you the cold shoulder, you've got every right to move on." Despite the cheerful tone there was no hiding the resentfulness Spike clearly felt. This time Angel reacted. He stopped his pacing and gave Spike a cold stare.

"Spike, don't...I'm not in the mood for your games today. I haven't talked to Catherine since Africa, so just leave it, all right." Spike suddenly became very serious. He hesitated for a second, threw a sidelong glance in Kaya's direction than took a step closer towards Angel. The atmosphere in the room was getting palpable.

"Then how do you explain I saw you in the garden last nigh, with the High Priestess? And I have to say you looked real chummy." Angel was losing his patience and walked up to Spike in a threatening manner. Giles was getting out of his chair. Something was terribly wrong here, he could sense it.

"I'm not going to tell you again, Spike, I did not see the High Priestess..."

"Bloody hell!" Spike snorted, obviously hurt that Angel wouldn't trust him. "Ask Kaya if you don't believe me! She saw you too!" Kaya had gotten out of her chair now and was staring at Angel with a shocked expression. When Angel gave her a questioning look she nodded.

"Yes, I saw you there too. You were sitting on that bench, below the balcony. You were talking. Don't you remember?" she looked so worried that Angel clearly began to doubt. And so did Giles. Spike might not be the most reliable creature in the world but Kaya wouldn't lie, not to Angel. Suddenly Spike offered a horrifying possibility.

"She played with your mind, didn't she? Did that thing Willow did to Xander!" Angel swayed where he stood and had to lean on the table beside him not to fall over. Then he thought out loud, as if trying to remember,

"I...I fell asleep, then I...went to see Buffy. But I went to bed after that, I...I think...yes I went right back to bed." He stared at Kaya as if she somehow would have answers but she looked as bewildered as he did. The only one who didn't seem even the slightest bit surprised was Spike.

"I knew it!" he said with a satisfied grin, "I knew she was up to something. She..."

"Don't you dare!" Willow had walked in without anyone noticing but now everyone was staring at her. "You better not accuse the High Priestess, not in this house. Not if you want to live." Giles realized he had been holding his breath and inhaled deeply. The cold lump in his stomach was back, along with the crawling sensation along his spine. He cleared his throat

"Let him talk, Willow." he said then fixed his focus on Spike. "What do you know about the High Priestess, Spike?"

"No, Giles!" Willow's voice was full of desperation. It had been years since he had seen her so... so helpless. It tore at his heart but he was determined not to let her emotions ruin them.

"Willow, hear him out." He looked her straight in the eyes, hoping that all the years they had worked together would weigh up some small portion of the loyalty she had towards Catherine. Spike had watched them with increasing alarm but when Willow turned away from Giles' stare he took it as a sign to go on.

"I met her in Moscow, during the Russian Revolution." he began, his usual glibness all gone and his voice deathly serious. "It was a feast for us demons back then, you could kill a dozen a day and no one would notice. Anyway, one night I meet this beautiful young woman alone in a dark ally. I'm thinking I hit the jackpot but as I was about to sink my teeth in her she does something to me, paralyzes me so I can't move. I stay like that for hours, almost don't make it back before sunrise. That kind of pissed me off, so I find out where she's staying and the next night I follow her. I wound up in the woods, a bit out of town. She went inside an abandon stable and I sneak a peak through the window." He heisted for a second, threw an uneasy glance at Willow then continued. "At first I couldn't make out what she was doing and I was just about to leave when I saw it. A creature appeared out of a cloud of smoke. It was the biggest, ugliest demon I'd ever seen. I couldn't understand what she was telling it but I had enough sense to dive behind a bush just before they came out. After that I grabbed Dru and got out of town as fast as I could." Giles stared at him, his mouth hanging open.

"The Karzini massacre!" he gasped. Spike nodded silently, then suddenly looked a bit guilty.

"I guess I should have said something before, but I figured you all knew. Besides, people change, right? I mean she could have turned good, like me and old broody pants here." He looked pleadingly at Giles, as if he wanted him to say it was fine that he had kept this to himself. But Giles just felt like throwing up. He ignored Spike and walked up to Willow, her face all white and her body shaking, her eyes staring at nothing. This was bad news for all of them but for Willow it must be devastating. Suddenly she looked up at Spike, her eyes glowing with rage.

"You're lying! It wasn't her! She would never..." In mid sentence she stopped herself, pressed a hand against her stomach and began gasping for air, almost folding over. She was clearly having a panic attack and Giles helped her to sit down. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she tried to breathe and he put his arms around her. There really wasn't much else he could do. When she stopped shaking he asked her quietly,

"Where is she?"

"I can't believe it." she whispered, her voice full of emotion.

"Let's find her and ask." he said calmly, trying to sound as hopeful as possible. After all there was a chance there was an acceptable explanation. She nodded then took a few seconds to compose herself. He got the feeling that deep down she felt the same thing he did. There had always been something not quite right with the High Priestess. If Spike was accurate Giles feared this doomsday-battle may not yet have played itself out.


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Willow let the paper fall back onto the massive oak desk. The red letters blurred as her tears soaked through them. "I LOVE YOU. TRUST ME." the note said. Simple and straight forward. Catherine depended on her loyalty. And her love. Willow felt like the floor had opened up underneath her and she was falling helplessly into an abyss from where there was no escape. No matter what she did now, she would betray a loved one. She breathed deeply, made herself look past the torrent of emotions threatening to tear her apart. With Buffy lost in her own private hell and Angel on the verge of madness it was up to her to see them through this. For the first time in her life she began to understand what Buffy must have felt all those years. The thought of being completely alone cut like knifes through her heart and she couldn't breathe. She had to grab hold of the table to keep from falling while fighting the urge to scream. But she had to be strong now, for the sake of the world and for her friends.

There was a knock on the door. She didn't answer, she couldn't. But he came in anyway. Good old Giles, ever the watcher. She could feel him standing there, looking at her, trying to decide whether she would hold up or crack. She took a deep breath and straightened, her eyes wandering around the room. It felt smaller somehow. This had seemed like a grand palace not long ago. Catherine had made it feel endless. They used to sit in front of the fireplace in the evenings, talking for hours. Willow had shared everything with her, her deepest fears and dreams, poured out her heart and soul. She had thought Catherine had done the same, that she had been as open with her as Willow had been, but now she knew better and it fueled so many emotions in her that she honestly thought she might go mad. She turned to Giles and smiled faintly.

"She's gone." she said. Forced to face reality she couldn't help but wonder, if she hadn't been so busy with Xander she might have noticed Catherine leave and been able to stop her. Could that have been Catherine's plan all along? Giles' face showed honest compassion, but his voice held no mercy.

"She must have erased Angel's memory for a reason. Can you restore it?" She sighed heavily. She hadn't even thought that far yet.

"I don't know. I have to find out what she did to him. Where is he?"

"Still in the library I think." He watched her cautiously as she let go of the table she was still clinging to. She hoped her legs would hold. She didn't want to show Giles her weakness, she wanted him to be proud of her. Although in truth he always made her feel like she was a teenager back in Sunnydale, no matter where she was. Of course those days where long gone. She was no longer a part of the old Scooby-gang, trailing behind the Slayer and her destiny. Now it was up to her to lead this coven and as much as she wished it wasn't so, she was in charge not Giles. Weakness was not an option. It was up to her to find Catherine and bring her down. There was no one else to lean on.

When they entered the library it took a while before they noticed Angel. He had taken refuge in a dark corner up on one of the many ledges along the walls. A few witches had taken up positions around him, watching cautiously as if they feared he would transform into Angelus at any moment. Kaya was speaking quietly with Spike while watching the witches as carefully as they watched Angel. Willow sighed. If they made it through this without killing each other it would be a miracle. She steeled herself and made her voice sound as commanding as she could.

"Angel." she said and watched him stir slightly in the darkness. "Come down here, please. I need to find out what she did to you." She pulled out a small vial containing a yellowish powder. The stairs shook and swayed under his weight as he came down. After all they were designed to fit slender women not brawny men. His scowl was even deeper than before and his dark eyes searched hers suspiciously. He clearly didn't trust her and she couldn't really blame him. She motioned for him to sit down and he did, after hesitating a moment. Willow closed her eyes, cleared her mind and focused. Then she spread the powder over him and watched intently. She hoped she would see the patterns of a simple forgetting spell, and after a few seconds she exhaled with relief. Obviously Catherine had been pressed for time. She could reverse this fairly easily.

When she had spoken the reversal spell it took a few minutes before Angel began to feel the effect. At first he just sat there silently, his face unreadable, as the memories came back to him. Then he looked at Willow with actual fear in his eyes.

"She's mad." he said and Willow felt like her knees would buckle.

"What happened?" she asked.

"She tried to..."he hesitated and looked at her almost pleadingly, "...she tried to seduce me, wanted me to go with her, to sit by her side." He looked as stunned as she felt. The thought that Catherine had romantic feelings towards Angel was something that had never occurred to her. It meant that she hadn't just kept her past from Willow but also her true feelings. Unfortunately Angel wasn't done. He got up and started pacing, trying to clear his thoughts.

"She said she wanted to make the world better, that the crystal would give her the power to do that. I told her the power would corrupt her but she...she wouldn't listen. She was obsessed, so completely convinced that she was strong enough to rise above human weaknesses. God! The look in her eyes! The same look Dacq'ilion had the look of madness." He stopped pacing and turned to Willow, his voice dark and threatening. "How could you have missed this? I trusted you. I was willing to die for you. I believed you wanted to bring Dacq'ilion down as much as I did. But it was all just a part of your plan, wasn't it? The plan to get the crystal for yourselves." She made herself face him. He had a good reason to be angry and he had a point. She should have seen this coming.

"You're right. I should have known. But she betrayed me as much as she betrayed you." Her voice was so calm she even surprised herself. The large library was now crowded with the witches that had been left behind when their High Priestess decided to turn to the other side. They needed to know she would be there for them, if they wanted her. She raised her voice so that they would all hear her. "I loved Catherine." she said, "She was my mentor, my teacher. She made me the witch I am today. But she had a choice. She chose the darkness. Like Angel said, the crystal corrupts; its powers were not meant for mortals, demonic or otherwise. Now we have to stop her, and we will. Because that's what we do, that is what we are." She turned to Giles. "Find out where she went. Fridha will help you; she knows the books on the crystal better than anyone." She hesitated for a second before adding, "I will go and reawakening the Slayer. We're going to need her. Catherine will know we're coming and she will be prepared." With that she left the room.

Buffy heard a noise beyond the crackling of the fire but couldn't make out what it was. A thought slowly formed in her mind but it didn't seem important. The color and shape of the flames consumed her conscience they were the only thing that mattered. She had no perception of time or space, all she knew was that the orange, yellow and blue lights were enough for her. Something moved beside her but she didn't care. It was peaceful here, nothing mattered. She felt something, a touch somewhere...she had to think...her arm perhaps. Her own body seemed detached from her mind, remnants of a time long ago when her arms and legs had mattered. Not anymore. She was at peace here, safe. Nothing mattered. Suddenly something blocked her view of the flames and she felt a strange sensation. A shape was before her now. She knew she had seen it before, but couldn't remember. It made a noise, several noises. She tried to move but her body wasn't a part of her. Vaguely she remembered a time when she could make it move. The noises slowly penetrated her mind and she realized they were words. It said, "Come with me." Something held her arm. She forced air into her lungs, a deep breath of air. It felt strange but she could feel her arms again, and her legs. The shape that spoke to her helped her up, held her, took her away from the fire. She didn't like it, she should do something but couldn't think of what. Then a name came to her. Spike. It was Spike that held her up and pulled her along. Slowly a thought formed in her mind. She could trust Spike. He was safe. She liked the colors of his face. Pale skin, read lips and blue eyes. She noticed that her legs moved. Did she make them move or did Spike? It didn't matter. She would rest soon.

He stopped, so she stopped. It felt strange, not to move. There were many shapes around her. They moved. Should she move? She looked down. The floor had many colors. A thought formed in her mind. Something was happening. She should know what it was but it all felt so far away. Then she thought of another name. Willow. She could trust Willow. She was there, in front of her. Words came out of her mouth but Buffy couldn't make out what they meant. Then she saw a dark figure. He looked at her and suddenly she wanted to scream. But she had no air. He was all black. She didn't like that color. She knew she should move but her body didn't move. She tried to force air down her throat, she needed air. Something changed. A sensation radiated through her. She knew that sensation, she had felt it before. It wasn't good. She wanted to run, but her body didn't move. A thought formed in her mind. Pain. What she felt was pain.

Spike leaned against one of the desks, restlessly playing with his lighter. It was a classroom of sorts and half a dozen desks had been pressed against the walls to make room for the ritual. Large chandeliers with dozens of lit candles hung heavily from the ceiling, giving off a soft, bright light. Thick dark red curtains covered the windows to keep the two vampires safe from the sun. The room was fairly crowded with witches standing around in small groups talking quietly, watching Willow closely and judging her every move. Spike could hear them whisper; some thought she wasn't up to it, others worshipped the ground she walked on. It was a bit strange seeing her like this. He still remembered her as a sassy but insecure redhead, desperately clinging to Buffy's skirts. But she wasn't clinging to anything now. She was all grown up and every bit the High Priestess, even though the formal election hadn't happened yet. And this time it was Buffy who was the weak one.

Willow had been very clear what she would do to them if they interfered with the ritual she had prepared for Buffy. She had explained that the only way to bring the Slayer back was to force her to feel again and to bring back the memories that she had tried so hard to escape. That meant pain and lots of it. But if they interfered before the ritual was over Buffy would be trapped in a catatonic state for the rest of her life. Willow had made both Spike and Angel promise on Buffy's life not to interfere. Apparently she felt they were most likely to want to, which probably wasn't wrong. Willow had placed bluish sand in a circle around Buffy and then painted her forehead with some smelly goo. Now she was chanting quietly, her eyes fixed on Buffy. At first it didn't seem Buffy was even aware anything was going on but eventually she began to tremble slightly and her lips tried to form words but no sound came out. As Spike kept watching he suddenly noticed her eyes beginning to fill up with tears and he had to look away. He had a sneaking feeling this was going to get really bad.

Kaya was keeping close to Angel, even though he barely noticed her. Spike admired her loyalty but a part of him wished she would stay close to him instead. The last few hours they had worked side by side, helping Giles compile information on the crystal and prepare for yet another battle. It had felt nice, spending time with her. They understood each other without words and it was probably the first time he had ever felt he could be himself around someone else without worrying about whether that was enough. Angel had been completely useless of course, skulking around like a wounded dog. Even Kaya had kept out of his way. Poor Xander, who had finally been allowed out of bed, had tried to talk to him but Angel practically bit his head off and walked away. Spike couldn't help but wonder if perhaps the wanker hadn't shared everything about last night. Catherine could be very persuasive after all. They still didn't know exactly where she had taken the crystal but they had traced her to Nepal. A mystical source Giles had contacted had mentioned a powerful nexus somewhere around there but they still needed the exact coordinates. Unfortunately the one who was most likely to figure that out was currently drowning in self-pity. Hopefully he would snap out of it when Buffy had been made normal again. At least all the books had agreed on a time when the ceremony could be performed again. Three days from now. That's all the time they had to find the wretched witch and stop her from destroying the planet and every other dimension. And so far they were two champions short. This ritual better work...

Buffy tried to remember the pretty flames but somehow her mind couldn't hold on to it. Instead other images played out in her mind, images she didn't want, images that hurt. She closed her eyes, hoped they would go away but instead it got worse. She was alone, she was the One, the only one. It was up to her, she had to die to save them, save those she loved, save those she didn't know. She was alone, had to fight, had to win. For those she loved, for her town. She was the Slayer. The only One. She couldn't feel her legs, something held her up but it wasn't her legs. Willow. She had betrayed her! Why? Images of demons, not real, not here! Just memories...Angel. His touch...desire burning her...needed him. Darkness. She was surrounded by darkness. The pain came, tore at her, crushed her. She wanted to scream but had no air left, no strength. She had to kill him. One last kiss. Had to kill him to save those...to save...to slay. That's who she was. The Slayer. The only one. He left her. Everyone leaves. Riley loved her. Couldn't hold on, lost him. Everyone leaves. Dawn. She was there, her beautiful face. The sister she never really had, a part of her flesh and the minds of demons. Death. Silence. She inhaled hard. The pain faded. It was over. Please, no more!

Spike realized he had tensed every muscle in his body till it ached. His jaw felt like he had smacked it against a wall for hours. He made himself relax. Buffy was hanging in mid air, her feet barely touching the floor. Willow held her there, intently focusing on her task, her face completely white with small drops of sweat slowly making their way down her forehead. Clearly this was no easy feat. It had been bad for a while but Buffy had finally stopped thrashing about, her body hung still and her face was no longer distorted with pain. It had taken every shred of willpower in him not to interfere. If he had known it would be like this he probably wouldn't have made that promise to Willow. At least it was over now. Angel hadn't moved, he just stood there like he was cut in stone, his face unreadable. Suddenly Buffy wrenched, moaned and tears began to roll down her cheeks again. Spike couldn't take it anymore. He left the room.

Buffy could feel the flame. So real, so close. It was cold, so cold it burned her. The pain came back, worse than before, worse than ever. Her mother, dead on the floor, tried to hold on, couldn't. Lost her. Everyone leaves. Now she screamed. Pain ripping her body, her back twisted, almost breaking. Darkness, couldn't breathe, couldn't move. She was trapped, had to claw, had to smash, had to dig... She was free, cold, hard, not really alive. Had to keep moving, had to slay, had to kill. For those she loved, for those that lived. Nothing left, nothing more...then pain. She was alone, the only One. Her body breaking. No more, PLEASE!

Spike paced up and down the hallway. Her moaning had been muffled behind the heavy door but her screams came through as clear as if she was inside his skull. To hell with the witches and their rules! He lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. The door behind him opened and Angel almost crashed into him. His shoulders were hunched over, his face twisted with pain and his eyes were filled with a bottomless horror. He had the look of a trapped deer just waiting for the hungry wolf to catch up. Spike stared at him. All those years they had spent together, all the demons they had killed and doomsdays they had averted, he had never seen him like this. It threw Spike out of balance almost as much as Buffy's screams.

Kaya came out right behind Angel and she gave Spike a frightened look. She didn't know how to help him anymore than Spike did. All they could do was watch as he paced back and forth, desperately wanting to leave but unable to get beyond a few feet from the door. As Buffy's screams got worse Angel gave up the pacing and leaned his head against the wall. He pressed his hands against it, as if he was trying to push it away. Kaya moved closer to Spike and he felt an overwhelming desire to put his arm around her. He didn't though. It wasn't right. But he had to do something. He inhaled deeply on the cigarette and exhaled a big puff of smoke then said as confidently as he could,

"I'm sure it's going to be over soon. I mean it can't go on forever, right? She'll be OK. Good as new." Kaya stared at him as if he had just suggested they go in and torture her themselves. Angel slowly turned his head slightly, his voice dark and menacing,

"Shut up Spike. You don't know what you're talking about, so just shut up."

"Hey, I'm just trying to hold on to sanity here! Don't you think this is killing me too? I love her just as much as you do." Spike always hated that Angel thought he had monopoly on feelings for Buffy but truth be told he knew his own feelings weren't nearly as intense as Angel's. Not that he was about to admit that. Angel simply turned back to face the wall and when he answered his voice was nothing more than a hoarse whisper,

"You know nothing. She's like this because of me, I'm responsible." Spike lost it.

"Because of you! That's rich! You think you are the only one that ever hurt her? I seem to recall a dead sister, a mother with a brain tumor and tons of demons wanting to kill her every bleedin' second! Not to mention every bloke she ever dated wounding up leaving cause they couldn't handle her gig. You know what? You're so bloody rapped up in yourself you need your head surgically removed from you ass!" Angel didn't move. The screaming from inside had stopped and all they could do was hope it was finally over.

Buffy reeled, her body so exhausted she no longer had the strength to scream. All she wanted was for the pain to stop. Every inch of her body ached and every muscle was so tense it felt like it would snap at any moment. She tried to look around, to see if someone would help her, but all she could see was blurred shapes, too far away for her to reach. Then she saw a face, that beautiful face she knew so well. Dawn. The image hit her like a sledgehammer. Her body began to shake and she couldn't breathe. Oh no, not Dawn! PLEASE NOT DAWN! The body fell, so fragile, so human. Blood everywhere, her body so still, so quiet. No please, not Dawn... Everyone leaves. Then darkness. It was over. It had to be, she couldn't take any more. Darkness. A cave, a movement behind her. Something...his eyes. Not him. NO! Can't kill him.. NOT AGAIN! She screamed. Fire burned her skin off, only flesh now, fire kept on burning. She couldn't breathe her lungs frozen, cold from within, fire around. PLEASE NO MORE!

Angel clenched his fists. His focus was fixed on the wall in front of him. Kaya held her breath. Spike felt like throwing up. It took every ounce of self-control he had not to run inside and take Buffy in his arms. Her screams had started again, worse this time than before. Angel leaned back from the wall slightly and without warning he rammed his fist straight into the stone wall.

"Bloody hell!" Spike exclaimed and stared in disbelief. Then suddenly the screaming stopped and it was silent. Both Spike and Kaya kept starring at Angel. His hand and half his arm were hidden inside the wall. It must have been one hell of a punch! Spike almost laughed. It looked so...ridicules, Angel with his hand stuck inside the wall like that. The door opened and Giles came out to stand in the doorway. Angel slowly pulled his hand out of the wall and carelessly shook off the rubble and blood that covered it. Spike assumed it must hurt pretty bad but Angel didn't even flinch. Giles just looked at him for a moment, his face unreadable, then quietly stated,

"Angel, she needs you." It took a few seconds before Angel reacted, then he went in as quickly as he could on very unsteady legs. Spike was about to go after him but only got as far as the doorway. She was lying on the floor, her body drenched in sweat and still shaking like a leaf. Angel sat down next to her and gently scooped her up in his arms. She looked so small, so vulnerable. Angel held her close to his chest and she almost disappeared in his protective embrace. He carefully stroked her hair and rocked her quietly with tears streaming down his face. But when Fridha leaned down to make her drink a beverage of some kind, he gave her a warning stare, which she bluntly ignored. After she had made Buffy drink whatever it was in that cup it took only a few seconds before she stopped shaking. But she was still weak, she barely had enough energy to keep her head up. Spike couldn't watch it anymore.

As he turned he saw Kaya standing by the wall staring into the hole Angel had made. There was a faint light coming through it. Apparently he had managed to punch his fist all the way through. It would have been impressive, if it wasn't so sad. It would be a bitch to fix though. Kaya looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears. What she saw in that hole was a man that loved so deeply that he would literally bring down walls with his bare hands for her. But the woman he loved wasn't her. Without a word she turned and ran down the hallway to her room. His initial instinct was to go after her but he decided against it. It wasn't the right time. She needed to mourn. He on the other hand needed a drink. He threw one last glance over his shoulder. Angel had just picked Buffy up in his arms and was about to carry her to her room. Spike decided to head for the kitchen. He suspected the witches had a stash of scotch hidden there somewhere and he was determined to find it.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Angel gently place Buffy on the bed and folded the cover over her. As he lied down next to her she nestled up against his chest, her eyes closed and her breathing deep and calm. Apparently it was a pretty effective potion the old woman had given her. He carefully pulled her closer to him and soon she slept peacefully in his arms. He inhaled her scent and felt his muscles slowly relax. Tears of relief rolled down his cheeks and he did nothing to stop them. This had been the worst day of his life and every part of him throbbed with pain, his hand more than the rest of him. He probably had to apologize for that little incident in the morning but right now he was just glad the day was over soon. But even though he was so tired he could barely think straight, he couldn't take his eyes off her beautiful face. It was so serene now with no hint of pain, and he felt actual joy for the first time in ages. He caressed her cheek gently, careful not to wake her. Simply touching her made all the horror he had felt for days fade and vanish. She was with him now and she was safe. As sheer exhaustion drew him closer to sleep he made himself a promise; his time he would never let her go, no matter what.

Xander had to sit down on her bed since the chairs were covered with books and other weird things. Willow had barely acknowledged him at all since he got there, completely consumed by the hundreds of volumes of books lying about. She was getting worse than Giles. The fire had died out in the fireplace and the room was getting quite cold. He shivered slightly and pulled a blanket over him as he made himself more comfortable on the bed. A girl had tried to put more logs on the fire but Willow had snapped at her so forcefully that she had practically fled the room. She had given him some hard stares too but he ignored them. There was no other place he could think of to go. He watched her sort through books and old parchments and felt himself reminiscing about times long ago. She didn't look all that different; her red hear was neatly folded in a simple braid and her nose still wrinkled in that cute way it always did when she was focusing on something.It was hard to imagine how powerful she was now. He had always known she was powerful but it hadn't really dawned on him just how important she had become. He regretted that they had grown apart in the last few years but they both had their lives to live. He still thought of her as his best friend and he trusted her completely, even if she had the power to erase his memory. But she was in trouble and he wasn't sure how to help her. He had to find a way to reconnect with her.

"Do you remember when we used to play hide and seek in your backyard, and that one time you couldn't find me so you started to cry cause you thought I had left you and gone home?" He held his breath and watched her carefully. She didn't even lift her head when she answered him and she was clearly annoyed with his interruption.

"What are you talking about Xander?"

"Just trying to remind you of something." he said as calmly as he could.

"I think you should go back to bed Xander." she said flatly and he sighed a bit. This was not going to be easy.

"I know you're hurting, Will. Please talk to me."

"I have a lot of work to do, Xander. Go to bed." Her voice was still firm but something had changed.

"She's your friend and you made her scream in agony. Doesn't that matter to you?" He braced himself for impact but Willow didn't react. What could he say to get through to her? He thought for a moment then said, "You're not alone, Will." She froze and suddenly she seemed very tired. When she turned to face him she looked like an old woman. He had to stop himself from gasping out loud.

"You don't no what you're talking about. You don't know who I am any more or what I feel. And you certainly don't know what I have done. So please, Xander just go." She returned to her books and all he could do was stare. Was she right? Had she changed that much? He slowly got up from the bed and took a step towards the door then he stopped. No, he didn't buy it. He walked up to her, pulled the book from her hands. She gave him a look of hard, cold ice and he almost feel over. He had seen that look before, when her hair was black and her mind filled with pain.

"You're my best friend Willow and I love you. That will never change, no matter what happens. And I will not leave you just because you tell me to. I know that thing with Buffy broke you're heart because it broke mine. But you're not alone! You don't have to go through this alone." He watched as her facade faded and tears began to roll down her cheeks. But when he tried to put his arms around her she pushed him away.

"Get away from me!" she almost screamed as she tried to pull herself together. "I can't fall apart now! Don't you get it! If I don't find Catherine and stop her, we're going to hell, all of us! And Buffy can't help with this, even if she recovers. This is my fight! I'm the only one who can save us and I can't do that if you keep bothering me like this. You have to leave me alone, Xander!" She was crying now and her eyes pleading with him. He moved closer to her and put his arms around her despite her best efforts to push him away.

"It's OK Will. You're not alone. It's going to be OK." Eventually she gave in and cried helplessly against his chest. It always made him a little dizzy to see these amazingly strong women so weak from time to time, but if they needed a shoulder to cry on he would offer it without question. When she calmed down a bit he helped her to sit down on the bed. She dried her eyes on a corner of the sheet and said quietly,

"Now I know how Buffy felt all those years."

"But don't you see? Buffy isn't alone either. She has you and Giles, Angel and Spike. She has people who loves her and will help her. So do you. If you start thinking everything rests on you, you'll go insane." He hesitated for a moment then continued, "Look, I'm not stupid, OK. I get it. Catherine meant the world to you and she betrayed you. She's probably got a whole bunch of magical traps set for us when we get there and you're the only one who can fix that. But Will, even then you won't be alone. We'll be right there with you, backing you up. Don't distance yourself from your friends. If you do you might wind up just like Catherine." At that she flinched and gave him a strange look. It occurred to him that not long ago she had probably wanted exactly that, be more like Catherine. He smiled, hoping it was a reassuring smile and she did seem to relax a little. She took a deep breath and nodded.

"I know you're right Xander, at least partly. But you can't understand what it feels like to have everything resting on you. It doesn't matter if you're in a room full of friends, you're still alone." He tried to object but she raised a hand to stop him. "I know you love me and I'm grateful, I really am. And I love you too. I love you for caring and always looking out for everyone. And you're right; I would go insane without you. But Catherine... it's complicated. I can't explain it to you, so please don't ask." She looked so sad he almost began to cry himself. The High Priestess had obviously meant more to her than Xander had guessed. But Willow straightened proudly and gave him a sweat smile.

"I really appreciate this Xander but I have to get back to work now." With that she rose and went back to her books. He wasn't sure how to feel. If Catherine had been a part of her life in a larger sense she had chosen not to tell him. That hurt, but more importantly it raised the question why? An alarming thought crossed his mind and he held his breath when he asked quietly,

"Did you love her, I mean for real?" She froze for a moment then gave him a look that said everything, and as she turned back to her books she said with a voice full of sadness,

"It's all in the past now." He couldn't breathe. Of all the things he had dreaded in this nightmare situation this was worse than all of them. If this was real did that mean...? He couldn't even think it, but he had to ask. He steeled himself then stammered,

"Willow, will you be able to... I mean if it comes down to it could you do... do what needs to be done?" He watched her with growing concern but she simply smiled reassuringly, a smile that never touched her eyes.

"If Buffy could kill Angel I'm sure I can manage. But I need to find her first so you really have to let me do this." After giving him a comforting nod she calmly returned to her books. He watched her for a while in silence then left the room.

Angel had no idea how long he had been lying there just watching her sleep. It had been so long since he had felt this kind of peace. He wished they could stay here forever. She stirred a little and slowly opened her eyes. When she saw him a smile lit up her face. He had forgotten how good it felt when she smiled like that.

"Good morning." He said quietly then added a cautiously, "How do you feel?" She didn't answer right away; instead she stretched like a lazy cat, her body touching his in ways that was intoxicating. She thought for a moment then said,

"I'm not sure. I feel a little...hung-over." She gave him a questioning look and he smiled reassuringly.

"Probably that thing the witches gave you, to help you sleep. It'll be all right." She smiled back at him and nodded, but concern touched her eyes briefly before she looked away. He knew it would take a while before she regained her balance but he would watch over her for as long as it took. She made no move to leave the bed, just rested comfortably next to him. He had no complaints, though. Having her near him like this was his idea of heaven and the last thing he wanted was to leave. There was a lot he wanted to say to her but he didn't want to ruin the moment, so he stayed quiet. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Fridha came in carrying a tray with two cups.

"Ah, good you're both awake. Quite a nap you had. We were afraid you wouldn't wake up today." She put the tray on the bedside table then gave one cup to Angel. He could smell the blood as she gave it to him and realized how hungry he was. As he took it, Fridha handed Buffy the other one. Angel gulped down the contents in seconds and had to stop himself from licking it too, but Buffy eyed her cup suspiciously.

"What exactly is in this thing?" she asked. Fridha gave her a motherly look and said in a very stern voice,

"Mostly herbs, dear. It will help you regain your strength." She motioned for Buffy to drink and she clearly wasn't going to take no for an answer. Buffy looked at it with a disgusted frown then took a deep breath and drank it all in one gulp. Angel couldn't help but laugh a little at her reaction, her nose wrinkling and her eyes pressed together. Apparently it tasted as bad as it smelled. Fridha, however, simply nodded approvingly and said,

"Good. You're going to need your strength, we'll be leaving soon." Buffy gave her a quizzical look.

"Leave? And go where?" she asked.

"Wherever Catherine has taken the crystal, dear." Fridha answered calmly and put both cups back on the tray. Buffy turned to Angel, her eyes asking the question he couldn't bear to answer, so he looked away.

"What's going on here?" She was getting upset now and he could feel her moving away from him. It was an excruciating feeling.

"Catherine has taken the crystal," Fridha explained as if it was the most natural thing in the world, "and she intends to use it the same way Dacq'ilion did. She wants to rule the worlds and all dimensions and we have two days left to find her and stop her." Buffy stared at her.

"I thought...but how could Willow...?" She suddenly looked terrified but Fridha just smiled calmly.

"Willow had no way of knowing. Catherine has ways of hiding what she doesn't want anyone to find. She deceived us all. Well, apart from a few sisters who went with her, that is." Suddenly she actually looked a bit sad. Buffy on the other hand was getting angry.

"Let me get this straight. We work our butts off to get this crystal from Dacq'ilion just so she can get her hands on it and use its powers."

"That about sums it up, yes." Fridha answered calmly and gave her a strange look but Buffy didn't notice. She had already pushed aside the covers and was getting out of bed.

"Well I guess I just have to go and kill her then." she said confidently and Fridha nodded as if that's exactly the response she had expected. Then she promptly picked up the tray and headed for the door.

"The rest are waiting in the dining hall, whenever you're ready." she said over her shoulder, then left the room.

Buffy could feel Angel watching her attentively from the corner of his eye. She was still weak and he knew it and as always he was there, ready to rescue her. She hated it, hated feeling weak, hated needing him so badly. It was hard to imagine that a good fight used to be her favorite activity. The very idea of going out to battle again was making her nauseous. But many things had changed in the past year. Willow may have brought her back but for what? She still felt she should have been the one to die not Dawn. Of course there was nothing she could do about that now. All she could hope for was to go on with some shred of dignity.

The long table in the dining hall was covered with bowls and plates with different contents and large saucepans with what seemed like stew, along with several loafs of newly baked bread. Most of the seats were taken except two at the end where most of her friends were seated. They were apparently in the middle of lunch, or possibly dinner, she wasn't sure about the time. The heavy curtains needed to protect the vampires form the sun, kept the rooms in constant darkness. Strangely enough she hadn't seen any clocks around either. Maybe the witches didn't need them. As they entered the room it went almost completely silent and Buffy could feel their eyes on her. It was a mix of sympathy and apprehension, which made her feel like screaming. Willow thankfully broke the uncomfortable silence by getting up and giving her a warm hug then motioned for her to sit down on one of the empty chairs next to her. But as she watched her friend she couldn't help notice a strange sadness in her eyes. A sadness she hadn't seen for many years, not since... Tara. As the thought ran its course in her mind she found herself unable to breathe. All she could think was 'It can't be!' Buffy threw a quick glance in Xander's direction but he wouldn't look at her. Willow had already gone back to her seat and Angel was motioning for Buffy to sit down too but she couldn't move. Her legs felt like jello and she wasn't sure they would carry her. How could she have missed the signs? As she thought back to the times she had seen them together it suddenly made sense. But if Willow had such strong feelings for Catherine, where would that leave them? Could she depend on her to defeat the High Priestess when the time came? And if not, could she do it herself? Despite her confident words, the very thought made her almost fall over. She was weak and scared and utterly helpless. Was this what they had brought her back for! Angel was there now, in front of her, his eyes full of concern which of course made matters worse.

"It's OK." he said quietly. "Just breathe. You'll get your strength back soon." She nodded and tried to smile but it probably looked more like a snarl than anything else. She wondered if he knew how weak she really was.

When Angel had helped her to a chair and made sure she had food on the plate, he sat down next to her. A part of her wanted to take that plate and hurl it at him, but she knew he was only trying to help. But there was no way she could eat, the block of ice in the pit of her stomach made it impossible to even contemplate eating. Not that it looked all that bad though. It was some sort of stew, most likely mutton and vegetables. They seemed to eat very little else here. A witch gave Angel a new cup of what she assumed was blood, which he drank eagerly. A quiet murmur had resumed and Buffy looked around as inconspicuously as possible. Spike was sitting opposite her, next to Kaya. It took a few seconds for Buffy to realize that he was actually sitting next to her, as in together with. A strange surge of feelings welled up inside her and she had to look down to make sure nobody noticed. Was she really jealous? Maybe it was just that she had gotten used to him being there for her and only her. She was happy for him of course. Or at least she would be when she could think straight again. Giles was sitting with his head buried in a book as usual, only eating a bite now and then when Fridha nudged him. It took a while for him to realize they had arrived but when he did he peered thoughtfully at Angel over his glasses and said absentmindedly,

"Angel, did Catherine say anything when she...when you two were..." he suddenly hesitated, throwing an uneasy glance at Buffy, "...eh...well, in regards to a location?" She could feel Angel squirming next to her. She had no idea what Giles meant by that but considering the sudden tension in the room she probably didn't want to know. Angel cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably before answering.

"I...I'm not sure. I don't think so." He watched Buffy as if he needed her to forgive him something. She tried to look as casual as possible. What did she care what he and Catherine had done? He relaxed considerably and searched his memory before continuing,

"Wait a minute. She mentioned something about the Tian nexus." Willow and Giles exchanged glances and then shook their heads. Apparently neither of them had heard of it. Angel then suggested tentatively,

"I know someone who might know, but I'll have to use a Carinian portal." That didn't mean anything to Buffy but from the look on his face it was obvious this portal business wasn't entirely safe. But she was determined not to let her own weakness effect him so she kept her face as blank as possible.

"You can use the ritual room in the basement." Willow offered, "It's the most stable magical center in the world, it should be no problem opening a portal there." He nodded and gave Buffy a look that almost seemed like asking for permission. She smiled, hoping he would take it as encouragement, which he did. With a quick nod he stood up and said,

"No reason to wait. The sooner the better, right?" He gave Buffy a warm smile and added, "It won't take long." Willow rose as well.

"I'll go with you."

As Angel began to leave Buffy suddenly couldn't breathe. Pain ripped through her and she had to muster all her energy not to grab him and make him stay. She focused on the plate of food in front of her, even picked up the fork. Tears threatened to roll down her cheeks and she swallowed hard. She wouldn't let him be less then he was because of her! She put a bite of the food in her mouth and made herself chew. She couldn't taste it but at least it kept her from screaming. As Angel and Willow left all of the witches followed close by, almost in single file. Giles hesitated for a moment, nervously cleaning his glasses, trying not to look like he was watching her. She prayed he wouldn't say anything and gratefully he didn't. Instead he soon followed the others out the door. Now it was only Xander, Spike and Kaya left. Kaya seemed torn between going after Angel and staying with Spike. Apparently whatever was going on there it was mutual. Buffy chewed slowly, focusing as hard as she could on the food, hoping it would be enough to make the rest of them leave too. She really didn't want to talk. But Xander came and sat down next to her anyway.

"Buffy?" he said in an attempt to get her attention. She swallowed and put on a smile.

"Hi Xander. How are you? Are you OK? You didn't look so good on Spike's shoulder, as I recall." She resumed eating, hoping he wouldn't take it the wrong way. She just couldn't bear to look at him.

"I'm all right. A little bruised but I guess that goes for all of us." He put a hand on her arm and leaned in a little closer. "Are you OK?" She could hear the concern in his voice. What was she suppose to say?

"I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine." She closed her eyes but the tears couldn't be stopped. He put an arm around her and she rested her head against his shoulder and wept.

When there were no more tears left she looked up at him. She noticed he had been crying too and gently brushed away a tear on his cheek.

"OK, you got me. I lied. I'm not fine and I'm not sure I'll ever be. But I'm here, ready to fight. We'll find Catherine and we'll stop her. It's what we do, right?" He smiled faintly and nodded then the sadness touched his eyes again.

"I know we haven't talked since..." he couldn't make himself say her name and Buffy felt like crying again, "...but I just want you to know it was a beautiful service. Lots of people came and everything. Your father was there too. She was truly loved." She pulled him close and held him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there." she whispered.

They held each other for a while, then he got up to leave.

"I guess I better go pack, again." he tried to sound cheerful but he looked as reluctant as she felt. She wasn't sure her legs would hold her so she stayed in her seat and eyed the plate once more. There was a part of her that knew she probably was hungry and should eat something, but trying to convince herself to actually put it in her mouth was surprisingly difficult. She felt sick just thinking about it. Suddenly she realized Spike was still there, watching her. Kaya had left and it was just the two of them left in the room now. There was a strange expression on his face that she couldn't quite read. She gave him a questioning look. He leaned back in his chair and his voice was surprisingly cold when he said,

"That was a real stomach churning moment you had there, with Xander. Real cute. Did you know Willow had to erase his memory because Angel claimed the torture he suffered at the hands of Dacq'ilion would drive him insane?" Buffy stared at him, unable to breathe. Spike leaned in over the table again, his eyes getting a little softer.

"You know I have always loved you, right? Even as a demon I loved you. You're the most amazing woman I have ever met. And I know you've been through hell." Now his voice suddenly became very hard,

"But Buffy, if you ever pull a stunt like that again, I'll fucking kill you myself." She stared at him, her mouth hanging open, tears rolling down her cheeks. A bit of sympathy shone through in his eyes but his voice was relentless.

"You would have killed us all down in that cave, you know. He couldn't have left you there anymore then I could. We depend on your strength and it's about time you realized how big an impact you death would have on all of us. Now, I'm not stupid, OK. I know you'll probably die before me, but to see you like that, just standing there waiting to die like some... wimp, that's intolerable. So promise me you won't do that again, all right? You'll die eventually, I can guarantee you that. But you'll have to wait your turn like everyone else, OK?" She clenched her teeth and forced herself to breathe. His words hit her like daggers and it took a few seconds before they really hit home. She rose slowly, painfully aware of him watching her intently. She tensed every muscle in her body and made herself walk steadily out of the room.


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The private jet hit an air-pocket and Willow tightened her grip on the arm-rest. She didn't used to mind flying but the tension among the group-members was so tense she feared it might be enough to send the plane spiraling out of orbit. Buffy had been sulking like a petulant child ever since dinner and Angel was walking on eggshells. Spike looked like he had a sore tooth and Giles was fretting over the Tian chronicles, desperately trying to figure out how to decipher them. The witches she had chosen to for this mission where relatively calm though. They all seemed confident that she was going to see them through this.

It had been extremely difficult to choose which of the coven's members to bring on this mission. There was no way of knowing if anyone who was still loyal to Catherine remained and it broke Willow's heart just thinking about it. In the end she chose to take as few as possible, although she already felt she might have brought too few. Catherine had taken six witches with her but there was no telling what other allies she may have. But there was nothing she could do about that now. She felt certain the ones she had chosen would follow her to the end and that was going have to be enough. There was Deanna, who had been a necessary choice since she was the only one who could keep the vampires safe from the sun. Besides, considering her obvious affection for Xander, betrayal was fairly unlikely. Cassandra was a plain girl in her early thirties who had only been at the coven a year. A late bloomer, she had just discovered her talent for healing a few years earlier and it had been Willow who had found her and helped her through the initial adjustment period. Mayling had been a fairly easy choice. A beautiful Chinese girl in her late teens, she had been sold off as a concubine by her impoverished parents when she was only ten. Willow had rescued her after a demon had taken possession of her "owner". Her powers weren't that strong but her energy-structure was similar to Willow's which would give Willow an extra power-surge when they bonded. She had struggled with the choice to bring Tess though. A rather ruff Australia woman in her early forties, she was very intelligent but also annoyingly opinionated. She was a wild card since she had been at the coven for fifteen years, recruited by Catherine herself. But she had seemed just as upset as Willow was at Catherine's betrayal and she was, next to Willow, the strongest witch in the coven. If Catherine thought she could win her over she would probably have included her in the group of witches that left with her.

Fridha had been the hardest choice. She adored the woman as she would a grandmother, but Fridha had known Catherine for half a century. Her powers where weak but her ability to see the future, as unreliable as it was, could be the difference between life and death. In the end it had been Giles who convinced her to bring her along. And in truth she couldn't imagine Fridha ever siding with such a mad endeavor as the one Catherine had embarked on, especially since she had clearly had visions of what might come if she succeeded. And there was a chance she might succeed. With only six witches, one broken Slayer, two sulking vampires, an old watcher, a knife-throwing half-demon and Xander, their little team was hardly enough to invoke fear in anyone. Willow sighed heavily, perhaps a little too heavy, as Xander shoot her a concerned look across the table. He was sitting in front of her, with Deanna next to him as usual. He had a crossword puzzle laid out on the table between them and was busy solving the intricate word-maze. He had tried to involve Willow at first but she had declined. There was too much going on in her head for her to focus on something so mundane. Besides she had a feeling she would have her fill of mazes soon enough. The plane swayed again and she closed her eyes and made herself breathe calmly. They still had a few hours before they would land. She should try to get some sleep.

She felt her body relax and the sounds around her slowly faded into silence. Suddenly she heard a strange noise and opened her eyes. To her surprise though, instead of seeing the insides of a plane she saw lush hills, a rippling brook and a large oak tree. It took a few seconds for her to realize she knew this place. This is where she and Catherine used to go to be alone. Obviously she was dreaming but it was the most vivid dream she'd ever had. She could practically feel the grass under her feet and smell the wildflowers that grew in the meadow. It was warm and the sun was shining from a clear blue sky. It was a spring and the birds and trees were practically exploding with the new life pulsating through them. This was her favorite time of the year. The fresh air and the tranquil sound of the brook made her feel more relaxed than she had been in over a year. She sat down next to the slow trickling water. Without thinking she put her hand in it the way she always did and let the cool water run between her fingers. Then she lay down on the grass, watched the birds fly so carefree in the sky, and let her mind drift. Suddenly she heard footsteps and she sat up surprised to realize she wasn't alone. It was Catherine. Her white dress glistened in the sun and her long, soft hair was hanging down, flying free in the gentle breeze. God she was beautiful! Willow smiled and reached out for her. How she longed for her touch! Catherine smiled and her eyes were filled with love. When she sat down next to Willow she looked her deep in the eyes and lovingly caressed her cheek.

"You know I love you, don't you?" she said and Willow felt like weeping for joy.

"Of course I know!" she answered breathlessly and Catherine leaned in and carefully kissed her lips. Her touch was so light but the heat between them was as overwhelming as always. Willow could feel her heart beat faster; her breathing becoming shallow and her desire grew. She wanted more and the kisses became increasingly intense. Catherine's fingers slowly unbuttoned her dress and caressing her passionately, kissing her until a whimper of pleasure escaped her lips. As Catherine's lips finally reached their goal Willow gasped in ecstasy, her back arching and her body burning with desire. Just as she was reaching climax Catherine's face was suddenly next to hers and her voice whispered in her ear,

"Go back, my love. Go home." Then she vanished and Willow was left seconds before orgasm, panting heavily while trying to figure out what had happened. She was still lying on the grass, her body was dripping with sweat. It had felt so real, but it couldn't be!

Why was she still here? Why couldn't she wake up if this was a dream? She dried the sweat from her forehead and made herself breathe calmly. She had to think. Was this her own fantasy or had Catherine somehow found a way to get inside her mind? She had heard rumors of such a thing, where a special amulet could be used to access and control the dreams of others but when she had asked Catherine she had said it was only a fairy-tale. Then again she had lied about a lot worse then that so perhaps... She got up and started pacing. As badly as she wished for all this to be nothing more then a weird dream, the lingering sensation of desire beckoned for a far more horrifying question; if Catherine could control her this easily, what would happen if worse came to worst? If she had to kill Catherine, could she?

"You wouldn't stand a chance, child!" Catherine's voice suddenly echoed around her and the lush hills and green meadows were suddenly not so friendly anymore.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Willow asked, frantically trying to figure out where the voice came from. "I loved you, I trusted you." she pleaded, hoping that maybe she could get through to her.

"I knew you wouldn't understand. You've spent too much time around that pitiful Slayer. I'm doing this for you, for us! You have to trust me, Willow. I can make the world a better place. No more wars, no more hunger or suffering. No more pain. I can do all that, but you have to trust me."

"How can you say that? You know the crystal corrupts! You'll ruin us all! Please stop this now before it's too late!" Willow felt the desperation in her grow. Angel had been right. Catherine was truly mad. How could she not have seen it before?

"I taught you everything!" the voice was booming inside her skull now and the pain made Willow crouch on the ground. "I showed you things beyond your wildest imagination. And this is how you thank me!"

The grass was gone now and there was nothing but darkness. Willow knew she was in trouble. She had to break free of this dreamworld somehow or she might be trapped forever. She had to think! Catherine was right, she had taught her a lot. But apparently she had neglected to mention this. She had to figure it out on her own. Catherine's voice still raged in her head. It was mostly ramblings now and she did her best to ignore it. She had made a mistake falling for Catherine, that much was obvious. Once again her heart had betrayed her. Never again though, never again...

The only thing that mattered now was stopping Catherine and saving the world from an eternity of hell. She breathed deeply, sat down and closed her eyes. Catherine may be able to control her dreams but she couldn't control her mind. She focused all her energy on her breathing, relaxed her muscles and cleared her mind. Suddenly the floor beneath her vanished and she fell headlong into a dark abyss. No! She would not let Catherine win! Her heart was beating so hard she thought it might jump out of her chest but she made herself ignore it, ignore the pain, ignore the fear. What would happen when she hit the bottom of this abyss? She would be crushed! No, don't let her win! Breathe! She forced herself to imagine the plane, the seat she was sitting in, the people around her. As she fell faster and faster she thought she heard voices, familiar voices. She made herself focus on those voices, let them guide her back to where she belonged. Slowly she could feel something pressing against her skin, the sense of falling faded. Suddenly she stopped. It was dark around her but at least she wasn't falling anymore. In the distance she could hear Xander calling out to her. All she had to do was open her eyes. But she hesitated. What if Catherine had been right? What if she didn't stand a chance? No, she couldn't let her win. She opened her eyes.

They were all standing around her, their eyes full of fear. Xander was sitting right in front of her, looking absolutely panicked.

"What happened, Will? You where screaming and I couldn't wake you?"

"Catherine." was all she said, all she could manage to say. She was still shaking.

"But you're OK?" he asked her fearfully and she nodded.

"She could control my dream." she said faintly and gave Fridha a questioning look. "Did you know she could do that?"

"No dear," Fridha answered with a touch of sadness in her voice, "if I did I would have warned you. But I fear she has hidden a great deal from us." Willow nodded.

"I think you're right." she said, then added, "And so was Angel. She really is mad. She believes she can make things better by using the crystal."

"How do we know she can't?" Xander suddenly asked, causing everyone to stare at him in stunned disbelief. He hurried to go on, "I mean do we really know it's going to corrupt her?" Willow couldn't help but smile.

"Yes Xander we know that. Not only did she break every possible ethical rule this coven has ever sworn by in less than a week, the last time someone used this crystal there was a tidal wave that nearly killed all of humanity. So yeah, I say we can be pretty sure she's mad."

"Just checking." he said trying to look as innocent as possible, but she knew him better than that. He had wanted to remind her of why they were doing this and he had succeeded. Still she wished she could be sure they would make it.

As they came closer to their destination Willow grew more and more restless. The memories of her dream made her reluctant to even close her eyes. Eventually she got up and started pacing. Angel's jet was fairly large and fitted with every possible luxury, including a TV that had Spike and Kaya consumed by some action movie. Buffy was sitting as far away from the rest as she could manage, which clearly had put Angel in a terrible mood. Willow avoided his scowl and sat down next to her friend.

"You OK?" she asked quietly. Buffy turned her head towards her and gave her an unreadable look.

"No, not really." she said simply, then added, "but then again neither are you. Or any of us, I'm guessing. Catherine has done her job well." With that she turned back to the window. Outside there was a strange, beautiful world of soft, delicate cotton. Cast in a pure white and bright blue the clouds formed imaginative shapes, enticing the mind to lose itself in endless possibilities. It was breathtakingly beautiful in all its serene innocence. But it wasn't real, just tiny drops of water and optical illusions. Willow sighed regretfully. It would be nice if the world was that simple but she had reality to worry about and a question she really didn't want to ask.

"Buffy?" she said then hesitated for a moment, "How did you do it?" Buffy turned her head slowly and looked at her with eyes older than her years.

"Did what?"

"Kill Angel?"

"Oh, that. I had no choice." she said simply and went back to watching the clouds.


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Angel glanced at Buffy, where she stood at the entrance of the cabin. He could see she was cold and he wished for nothing more than for her to let him warm her, but she had made it clear she didn't want him near her. He didn't know why though, and it was driving him insane. They had gathered in a small house near the trail and were waiting for a guide to take them up the mountains to the temple. When they had arrived in this small Nepalese town it hadn't taken long to figure out that most of the folk here knew exactly where the temple was but for obvious reasons they were a little hesitant to go there. Willow was doing her best to convince them that there was nothing to worry about but they didn't seem to believe her. He couldn't blame them, he wasn't sure he believed her either. He nodded to Kaya and she produced a sizable bundle of money from her backpack. In his experience money was the best means of persuasion in any situation. Willow gave him a tired look. Perhaps she was as close to the edge as he was.

He had taken refuge in a dark corner of the room, keeping his distance from the rest of the group, gazing out of one of the small windows. It was still dark outside but the sun would rise soon, he could feel it. They had a nice five hour trek in front of them, mostly uphill. Then they had about three, four hours left to get to Catherine before she could finish the ceremony. Just another day at the office. Deanna was looking more and more desperate the closer to sunrise they got. If Giles's translations had been correct there should be a solar eclipse this morning covering the sun for most of the day, but if he was wrong it was up to Deanna to get the vampires there without turning into a pile of ashes. Not that Angel cared that much anymore. In fact death felt like a welcome relief at this point. Buffy had already gone outside and were getting ready to take up the lead with their guide; an gnarled old man who didn't look like he was going to make it through the day, but apparently he always looked like that. He had lived here all his life and made probably hundreds of trips up and down these hills. Angel hoped he wasn't too slow, though. They really didn't have time to wait for him to catch up. He would have preferred to go on without any civilians but as Xander had pointed out the Himalayas could be treacherous and going alone without a guide was an unnecessary risk.

As the sunrise grew nearer most of them left the small house and eventually only he and Spike remained. Angel left his corner and strolled up to the doorway. No one knew if Deanna could keep them both safe from the sun. If she couldn't Spike would have to stay behind. Angel wasn't going to leave Buffy for anything. Of course with Spike there was no telling how he would take that news.

"Without the Slayer we're doomed" Spike's voice came from behind him and Angel flinched. He turned to see Spike standing right by his side, watching him thoughtfully. Angel snorted, irritated at such an obvious statement.

"You don't think I don't know that?" he hissed.

"Do you? Cause I'm not sure what the hell you're up to anymore."

"What do you want from me?"

"You have to bring her back."

"Really?" Angel had to fight an impulse to hit him but Spike just looked at him completely serious.

"Look, all Willow did was bring back her memories of pain. She's still just half a Slayer."

"And exactly what do you suggest I do about it?" Angel was towering over him now, taking some small pleasure in the fact that he could actually tower. But Spike held his ground and his voice was perfectly calm.

"Common, we both know her strength comes from her emotions, and when she's unhappy she's a lousy Slayer. Right now she's thinking she's better off dead. If she goes into that temple with that attitude, she will die and so will we. She needs a reason to live and as much as I hate admitting it, you're it. You can be with her now, you know that. So go and be with her. Stop beating about the bush like some frigid moose and go remind her of what living is all about." Spike waited for the words to hit home then, before Angel had a chance to respond, he calmly walked outside.

Angel just stood there in the doorway, staring. Was the guy crazy? How was he supposed to remind her of anything? She wouldn't even look at him! He gritted his teeth as he watched Spike casually step outside, trusting Giles's predictions for a solar eclipse. Spike lit a cigarette in an offhand manor while the rest of the group stared at him in stunned disbelief. Deanna hesitated for a moment and threw a nervous glance towards Xander, then she reluctantly made her way closer to Spike. He on the other hand calmly walked up to Kaya and whispered something in her ear. To Angel's shock the fool girl actually blushed. Just then the sun rose over the mountains and in a fleeting second Angel felt the strange sensation of wanting to protect the annoying little half-breed. With only moments to spare, an eclipse suddenly covered the suns deathly rays. Angel clenched his jaws tight. Always the show-off!

He stalked outside to join the rest, itching to get moving. As he passed Spike the guy turned towards him and gave him an infuriatingly confident smile.

"See, sometimes all you need is a little faith." he said and Angel had to stop himself not to go over there and rip his head off.

With the eclipse covering the sun the high peeks and long valleys of the Himalayas were cast in an eerie blue, grayish light. It was dead quiet and nothing stirred in the majestic, barren landscape. Buffy pulled her thick jacket a little closer. She was still cold, even though her clothes were designed to shield against this kind of weather. Angel was just a few steps behind her, doing his usual thundercloud impersonation, which didn't exactly help with her mood. She had thought of telling him to back off and give her some space but that would have meant she would be alone in the lead and that she couldn't even bear thinking about. She felt like she was trapped in a bad dream and for a while there she contemplated the possibility that Catherine might have had something to do with it. But as the hours past and nothing happened, except the tedious walking up hills, down hills and up hills again, she concluded it was probably just another average day in her life. The most unnerving thing though was that her body didn't feel the way it used to. It had never felt this heavy and rigid, with every step a struggle. It was as if it wasn't her body at all. The old guide had turned out to be surprisingly limb and had set a much faster pace then she would have thought him capable of. It had left the others falling behind and even she had to fight to keep up, forcing herself not to give in to the pain in her limbs. That was new too, the actual pain of simply walking. She didn't even want to imagine what the fighting would feel like.

When they reached the foot of a particularly sterile mountain that stretched higher then the others, their guide stopped. He pointed towards a small, winding path that edged its way along the face of the cliff. In the distance it made a sharp turn and vanished out of sight around to the other side. Apparently they would find the temple somewhere up there but he was clearly going no further. Buffy gazed up at the path, so narrow in parts even she would have difficulties walking normally, and she couldn't help but wonder; would this be the last thing she ever did? This endless, winding path of torment leading up to certain hell and probable death, was that her destiny? She had been told death would be her reward but she had cheated death twice already, maybe hell was the place she would go next. She forced as much oxygen down her lungs as she could. Taking deep breaths was hard here, the thin air making breathing a chore in itself. Her legs ached and her back felt like breaking but she wasn't going to stop now. She had made a pledge and she was going to keep it. Catherine would die.

As she slowly struggled her way up the mountain all she could hear was the muffled sound of crushed rubble under her feet. She didn't bother to look up, simply walked on almost in a trance. Suddenly she tripped, her boot slipped on a loose rock and she fell. She slid down along the cliff and for a moment she feared she would plummet helplessly to the bottom. Then she felt someone grabbing hold of her arm and seconds later she was on her feet and safe in Angel's protective embrace.

"You have to be careful here." he whispered softly as he held her tight and she wanted to hit him. As soon as she had regained her balance she pushed him away. She didn't need him! When she was about to turn and get back to the trail she threw a glance downwards and suddenly noticed how high up they were. She had been so busy putting one foot in front of the other she hadn't realized how far she had come. It was just the two of them here, the others were so far below they looked like little insects crawling along the cliff. She shot Angel an angry glare then turned around and started walking again. She had strained a muscle in her leg from the fall and her hands were bloody and full of gravel, but she ignored the pain. She had a job to do.

"Buffy, what have I done to make you so angry with me!" Angel's voice cut pleadingly through the silence. She ignored him and forced herself to keep moving. But he just wouldn't give up.

"Look, I know you're hurting but I can't help you if you don't let me."

"I don't need you're help." she snapped and it seemed enough to silence him. They walked on, pushing relentlessly upwards, almost to the clouds. How she wished she could be back in the clouds right now!

When they arrived up on the edge of the cliff, as high up as they could get, she stopped, almost bending over with exhaustion. With a sense of great relief she let her backpack fall to the ground. After a few feeble attempts at deep breaths she looked up and found herself starring in amazement. Her surroundings where so breathtakingly beautiful that for a moment she forgot her aches and pains, even forgot him. But then he grabbed her arm and spun her around, forcing her to look at him.

"Buffy stop this! I can't take it anymore!" he said and looked at her so pleadingly she felt sick. She tore her arm out of his grip and calmly stated,

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not doing anything to you."

"That's not true and you know it! Ever since Willow brought you back you've been pushing me away and I want to know why." She tried to hold it in but it bubbled to the surface before she could stop it.

"I can't take care of you, all right! I can barely take care of myself!"

"I don't need you to take care of me." he answered, clearly stunned at her suggestion. "All I want is for you to let me help you." His voice was soft now and he had moved in closer to her. She could feel him reaching for her and she wanted to pull away. But that was the coward's way, she had to face him. She straightened, took a deep breath or as deep as she could at this altitude, and said,

"I'm sorry Angel but I can't bear being close to you. It hurts too much, can't you understand that? Please just stay away. We have a job to do and I can't do it like this." She made herself look straight at him, forced herself not to look away. He glanced down for a moment and she felt like she had won a victory. But when he looked at her again something had changed in his eyes. He smiled a little as if he had just figured out the answer to a riddle of some kind.

"You know how much I hate Spike, right?" he asked her and she stared at him, unsure how to respond. It seemed a very odd thing to bring up now. He moved in a little closer and it was all she could do not to run away. "Well, maybe hate is a strong word," he continued as if it was an absolutely normal conversation, "but I really don't like admitting he might be right."

"Angel, what are you going on about?" she asked, getting irritated.

"Just something he said that didn't make much sense, until now."

"What!" she exclaimed angrily. Why couldn't he take a hint? She didn't want him this close, she didn't need him, she... That look in his eyes, she'd seen it before. A long time ago, a lifetime ago. He leaned down, his face so close, his eyes locked on hers.

"I love you Buffy."

Xander had to stop and leaned against the cliff wall for a moment, panting heavily. This was his version of hell; the never ending struggle upwards towards the forever elusive goal of freedom. He had a pounding headache, he was nauseous, his feet hurt and there was a throbbing tension behind his eye-patch that was driving him insane. He drank the last of his water and glanced over his shoulder. Spike and Kaya were bringing up the rear, talking and laughing as if they were out on a nice outing in the park. Neither of them looked even remotely tired. Willow and the other witches at least looked a little weary. And poor Giles had also stopped a few feet ahead of him, looking as exhausted as he felt. But the old man held up surprisingly well, considering. Buffy and Angel had vanished out of site long ago. She had set an inhuman pace right from the start, for some reason, but at least Angel was there to protect her. No one knew what to expect when they got to the temple, but Xander was imagining the worst.

"Are you OK?" Kaya gave him a concerned look and he tried to nod convincingly.

"Why won't you let me help you with that bag? You'll keel over before we even get there if you keep this up." Spike offered again cheerfully. Xander had probably turned him down at least a dozen times already, determined not give him the satisfaction. But now he gratefully handed over his backpack. This was no time for heroics, he just had to make it to the top. He didn't want to think any further than that. He inhaled as deep as he could, cursing the thin air that made him feel like he was choking, then pulled himself together and started walking again. Spike gave him a friendly pat on the back. It was strange but he could swear the old vampire had acquired a soft side lately.

Buffy turned away from Angel, trying to hold herself together. She couldn´t let go, had to hold on, hold tight. Emotions riped her, but she had to keep them away, far away.

"Don´t fight it." he said, not moving from where he stood. "It´s who you are, what makes you strong."

"What are you talking about!" she snapped angrily, turning to face him, trying to sound cold, unemotional.

"Your heart, your love, your compasion. Don´t shut them out." His eyes pearced hers and she couldn´t breathe. Tears slowly made their way down her cheek and it took all her willpower to inhale. With a hoarse whisper she uttered the words she feared the most,

"But what if I can´t endure the pain?"

His eyes filled with tears as he took the few steps towards her and pulled her close to his chest.

"You´re not alone" he whispered passionately. "You are strong, and powerful and you will never be alone."

As if just uttering the words her fear almost vanished and she alowed herself to let go. He held her tight while she let her feelings out in an endless stream of tears. And while her pain drenched Angels shirt in salty drops she felt an amazing sense of freedom. In that moment she knew she could endure what had been and what would come. Pain was a part of life and for each time of desperation she would learn and grow. And through it all she would never be alone.

When they reached the top Xander was close to passing out. His head was spinning and whatever was left of breakfast in his stomach was threatening to pay a surprise visit. As he collapsed on the ground he noticed Buffy and Angel. They had their arms wraped around eachother and to his surprise he noticed Buffy was actually smiling. Perhaps all would be well after all.

When he had regained enough strength to stand up Xander suddenly noticed what an amazing view it was from here. All the way up here he had been so busy trying not to puke his guts out that he didn't bother to look around, but now he took his time to take in the scenery. Odds were he would never see anything like this again. Despite the weird, grayish light which gave everything a fuzzy, almost unreal vibe, the sheer magnitude of this place was humbling to say the least. Everything below them, the few trees that grew in this barren landscape, all looked like little ant toys. And the snow-covered mountain peaks surrounding them looked like giant cupcakes with frosting on top. He suddenly realized he was starving and looked around for Spike and his backpack. If they were going to stay here for a while he might as well get something to eat. The sandwiches he had gotten from witches before they left was just what he needed right now. Suddenly something dawned on him; they had reached the peak and there was nothing here! No temple, no High Priestess, nothing! Had their guide tricked them? Had they really made it all the way up here for nothing? He felt sick again. The thought of having to go down and maybe up another mountain was unbearable. He desperately looked around for the others. Surely they had to have noticed the lack of temple! Giles was speaking quietly with Fridha, while Willow was standing alone at the edge of the peak, seemingly looking at nothing. Xander rapidly made his way towards Giles, limping slightly.

"What's going on here?" he asked with a rather undignified high pitch in his voice, "There's no temple!" Giles gave him a rather haughty look.

"Yes, Xander, we have noticed that, thank you."

"So we're lost! Great, just great! You couldn't have doubled checked? I mean the guy wasn't exactly the poster-boy for dependability."

"What are you talking about Xander?"

"The guide! He obviously set us up!"

"No he didn't. He led us exactly where we wanted to go."

"Uh, sorry, hate to point out the obvious here, but there's NO TEMPLE!"

"Please don't shout I have a headache as it is. The temple is here."

"What? Where?"

"There." Giles pointed towards the edge of the cliff, where Willow was.

"But there's nothing there!" Xander exclaimed feeling like he was going mad and Giles looked even more frustrated.

"Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it's not there, Xander."

"Oh, you mean it's invisible. Like that cave in Sahara?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes, sort of like that."

"Good, so you'll fix it then?" he stated confidently but Giles simply looked over at Willow, who hadn't moved from where she stood, and suddenly the old man seemed more concerned than annoyed. He hesitated for a moment then said quietly,

"Not much we can do, I'm afraid. This is all up to Willow." Xander was a little surprised at Giles's lack of confidence.

"But she fixed it in Africa, right. She can do it here too?"

"It's not that simple. The invisibility spell in the caves of Kalandra was set to fade whenever a demon approached it with the proper incantation. Willow only assisted Angel, she didn't break it. This is set to let no one in, and it's far more complex than the one in Africa." Xander stared at him.

"Do you mean there's a chance we won't even get in?" Giles gave him an unreadable look then smiled faintly.

"Don't worry. I'm sure she'll manage."

The minutes dragged on infuriatingly slowly. Spike impatiently kicked at another pebble and watched it tumble downwards over the edge, then pulled out his pack of cigarettes. He was running low on smokes. Perhaps he should have brought more, but how was he suppose to know they would be stuck here doing nothing for an eternity, waiting for Willow to do her thing. He itched for a good tussle, anything was better than this. The waiting was driving him insane. Buffy and Angel didn't seem to mind, though. They hadn't taken their hands off each other since they got here. It was a bit sickening really. It might get difficult for them to fight, joined at the hip like that. He started pacing again. It was remarkable how claustrophobic he felt in a place this vast. But the spot they had to move around on wasn't very big and it's not like he could leave. He was stuck here, along with the rest of them. And Willow didn't seem to be trying very hard, she hadn't moved in ages. She just stood there, like a statue or something.

"William, stop pacing! It's getting on my nerves." Kaya declared in an irritated voice behind him. He sniggered to himself. Her habit of using his human name was rather endearing. Maybe he could take a page out of Angel's book and pass the time with her. He turned with a smile.

"Whatever you say, luv."

"Don't even think it." she said and gave him a blunt stare.

"Think what? I wasn't thinking nothing." he tried, as innocently as possible.

"Don't go there. I'm not in the mood to be her stand-in." She nodded towards Buffy and by the look in her eyes that scene hurt her a lot more than it hurt him. He put the cigarette out and sat down next to her.

"I wasn't thinking that. I haven't thought of Buffy like that in a lot of years. Besides, she was never for me." She gazed up at him, hesitated for a moment then said,

"But you still love her. Don't you wish she would be with you right now?"

"No, not really. I mean, she is where she belongs. I'll always love her and that's OK. Loving her made me what I am. And who knows, maybe somewhere there is a woman for me." He smiled at her but she just looked at him with those strange eyes and an enigmatic expression on her face.

"You really are a romantic, aren't you." she said softly and before he had a chance to react she leaned in and kissed him.

"What was that for?" he asked breathlessly, suddenly fearing the worst.

"Just because." she answered calmly and shot him a playful smile.

The kiss left him utterly mesmerized. He had kissed plenty of girls in his time. Most of them while he was a demon, but still... There was something different about this one. He watched her as she got up and brushed off the rubble from her perfectly shaped bottom. As he sat there gazing up at her in stunned bewilderment, she turned and looked at him. It was a look no woman had ever given him before, the same look Buffy used to have in her eyes when she was looking at Angel. Could it be?

The witches were up to something over at the edge. Willow and Mayling were holding hands and Willow had started chanting. Suddenly a lot of different colored lights flashed in the air in front of her and a booming noise came from nowhere. Apparently Willow had succeeded. He got up and tried to clear his head. Kaya was a dangerous distraction. It was bad enough with Buffy and Angel lost in their own lust-frenzy. He had to stay focused. The light-show eventually faded and Willow fell to the ground. In front of her now stood the temple in all its glory. It was larger than Spike had imagined and a lot more colorful. Thick, red pillars, at least twenty feel tall, framed the entrance and golden decorations covered the elaborate gates. The roof was made of small, green tiles, stacked one over the other, reaching up towards the sky. Protecting the gates where, as one might expect, three gigantic beasts. They stood snorting at the edge of the cliff, scrapping their hoofs, clearly as eager for battle as he was. Unfortunately Catherine had thought it necessary to bring part of the mountain down to keep her pets from running off. Between the temple and were they were, there was a gap probably more than eight feet wide and below them was a sharp drop too deep to estimate.

Spike had to admit this wasn't going to be easy. The beasts reminded him of rhinos, only twice the size. The horn in the middle of their face looked surprisingly sharp, as did the outcrops along their sides. Considering how slowly they moved he assumed they were fairly heavy built as well. Giles was studying the beasts with a concerned frown.

"So how do I kill them?" Spike asked and Giles gave him a startled look.

"Ah, yes, well. Not easily, I'm afraid. These are Racholocs if I'm not mistaken." He threw a questioning glance over at Fridha and she nodded. "Fairly difficult to kill as I recall." he continued, taking off his glasses to clean them. "They are well protected; their skin is impenetrable and their horns contains a lethal poison, lethal even for a vampire, I imagine."

"Off with the horns then." Buffy suddenly interrupted cheerfully, and as they all turned towards her in surprise she gracefully leapt off the rock she was sitting on. She smiled happily as she approached, with Angel right behind her.

"What?" she asked mockingly, "You look like you seen a ghost or something."

"Great to see you feeling better, luv..." Spike said tentatively, "...but maybe you should sit this one out. Leave it to me and Angel."

"And let you have all the fun? No way! I feel good, alive even. I'm ready. Besides, these things don't seem too threatening."

"You really shouldn't underestimate them Buffy." Giles cut in. "We're not even sure how to kill them."

"A sword through their brains usually does the trick." Angel said in an off hand manner, then hurried to explain. "I've run into them before, in Kaya's dimension, actually. There's a small gap in their armor, right between their neck and shoulder, and if you stick the sword in there they die pretty much instantly."

"Hm, very good, yes I suppose that could work." Giles muttered, mostly to himself.

"OK then, let's do it!" Buffy stated and went straight into Slayer mode. "You'll take the one to the right," she said to Spike, "Angel takes the one to the left and I'll take the one in the middle." Then she headed for her backpack and her sword with Angel looming after her like a lovesick puppy. Spike scoffed a little then went to get his own sword.

As he turned he noticed Kaya standing as far away as she could get, watching the Racholocs suspiciously. She didn't look scared exactly but she definitely didn't like them. He grabbed his sword out of his backpack and was about to join Buffy and Angel when he found himself hesitating. He should keep his head clear, but every part of him wanted to be near her. Eventually he couldn't resist, he had to walk up to her.

"You OK?" he asked cautiously.

"Just be careful." she said and looked up at him with those beautiful eyes. Right then he had never wanted to kiss anyone as much as he wanted to kiss her, but he didn't. Instead he gently caressed her cheek.

"I'll be all right." he said as convincingly as he could, then joined the others.


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The energy of Cassandra's healing had taken away the worst of the pain but Willow still had to struggle to stay on her feet. Despite linking with Mayling the incantation to break the invisibility spell had taken a heavy toll on her body and her hands were still shaking. But she couldn't let on how weak she felt. She tried to inhale but it was rather inadequate, with the thin air up here. As Buffy, Angel and Spike was being levitated across the ravine she watched Buffy closely. She had harbored some hope that Angel could inject some life in her but the result was rather overwhelming. It seemed a little too good to be true. But as the three warriors landed safely on the other side Buffy met her adversary with her usual calm and focus. She quickly chopped off the horn before the Racholoc even had a chance to react, then did a graceful somersault and landed on his back, steadying herself on the sharp outcrops along its sides. Angel had watched her as closely as Willow did. Now he nonchalantly cut off the horn on the charging beast, then rammed his sword straight into its skull, right between the eyes, while barely taking his own eyes off Buffy. She had managed to get her sword inside its brain and as the Racholoc fell to the ground she elegantly leaped off it and landed on her feet.

"See, that wasn't so hard." she exclaimed cheerfully and Angel gave her a big smile. Willow breathed a little easier. The Slayer was back.

"Uh, maybe you could help him, a little." Kaya asked hesitantly and they all turned to see what she was looking at. As it turned out Spike had managed to get himself lodged under the dead beast.

"No, no don't worry about me, I'm fine...just fine. No worries." He pushed with all his strength but the corps wouldn't budge an inch. They all laughed, even Kaya, all though she seemed a little worried too. It took both Angel and Buffy pushing as hard as they could to get the thing off Spike but eventually he could brush off the dust, seemingly unharmed. When he saw Kaya looking at him with a concerned frown he smiled,

"I'm all right, just a little bruised. The bloody bastard caught me by surprise, that's all."

"Yeah, they were real brainiacs, these things." Buffy said sarcastically and he gave her a cold stare. As they went to retrieve their sword Spike suddenly through a fit when he noticed Angel pulling his out of the forehead of the Racholoc.

"Oh, bloody hell, why didn't you just say we could stab the bastards between the eyes! Get a kick out of watching us trying to ride these piglets, did you?" He was working himself into quite a frenzy but Angel just cleaned his sword calmly.

"I never said I had to do that, I just said you did."

"Meaning what? That I couldn't do that?" Spike spat angrily, picked up his sword, walked up to the dead beast and aimed his sword at the skull. He then stabbed it with all his might and with a loud 'klonk' it barely penetrated the skin. For a moment he just stood there and stared. Then he turned slowly and asked suspiciously,

"How did you get so strong?"

"I got an extra boost from the Wolf, Ram and Hart, before I took them out." Angel answered casually as if there was nothing to it. "Didn't I tell you?" he added with mocked seriousness and a sly smile.

"You got what from whom?" Spike said incredulously.

"When I was fighting that Hamilton guy, I bit him. He said he had the essence of Wolfram and Hart in his blood so I bit him and it kind of stayed with me. I thought it would wear off but it didn't."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Spike asked, clearly not sure what to believe.

"Didn't think it was any of your business. Besides, I didn't want to make you jealous." Angel added that last part with a tinge of a challenge in his voice and the two vampires were clearly sizing each other up for a fight. Willow feared the worst but Buffy just laughed then said in her sternest voice, while trying not to laugh again.

"Now boys, none of this! Behave yourselves or I'll just have to send you both to bed without dinner." Then she erupted in an infectious laughter again and this time Angel joined in, which was weird in itself. Willow hadn't seen him laugh in... well ever. At least not like that. Spike on the other hand just shook his head, then sat down on the dead Racholoc to light a cigarette and sulk.

Willow was the last one to levitate across the ravine. Kaya had been the most reluctant, and even Giles had turned rather pale. But now Willow stood in front of the dreaded gates, one step closer to Catherine. There was no telling what was inside, but she could imagine. Unfortunately that didn't make it any easier. She had to draw on every last bit of determination to make herself raise her hands and release the right level of energy-waves to open the gates. As they slowly glided open it took a few seconds before she realized that what she was looking at was actually worse than what she had imagined.

"What is that?" Xander asked suspiciously, staring into the black void in front of them. She clenched her jaw, steeling herself not to tremble.

"This is the Path of Rangal, or the Path of Horror, in ruff translation. It's a rite of passage of sorts, they used it in the Trink dimension. Catherine and I managed to abolish it from there a few years ago. She told me she had gotten rid of the tablets that hold it. Clearly she lied." The thought of all that time she had walked side by side with Catherine, learning from her, listening to her every word, made her want to scream. How could she have been so naiv?

"Rite of passage, uh. What exactly does it do?"

"It makes your fears come to life. There's a small trail on the floor that will lead you to the other side, but if you move to far from it you'll get lost in the dark and spend eternity trapped in there."

"I see. So we keep to the path then. How hard can that be, right?"

"Easier said then done when your worst fears are hunting you. Just remember, it's not real. Whatever you see in there, it's not real."

As soon as Willow stepped over the threshold a faint glow lit up the darkness. The light was emanating from the floor and a glowing pathway could be seen stretching into the black void. She tried to relax. If a young Trinkian could master this she shouldn't have any trouble. Of course most of them didn't. She threw an uneasy look over her shoulder. There probably weren't much Buffy and Angel were afraid of at this point, and Spike could take care of himself, but she worried about Xander. And Mayling was still so young. And... no she couldn't think like that! She had to keep her eye on the path and trust the others to handle themselves. A few words of warning might be in order though, maybe she could increase their odds.

"OK then." she said, turning to the others that had gathered at the beginning of the path, eyeing their pitch black surroundings warily. "As I said this trail will take us to the other end. But this is designed to test the courage of those who dares enter so you'll have to face your worst nightmares in here. Just keep repeating to yourself that it's not real and it will go away." She hesitated for a moment then added, "Maybe you should hold on to someone just in case."

They paired up remarkably quickly behind her. Buffy and Angel obviously clung to each other, taking the opportunity for some groping. Xander took a firm grip on Deanna, which made her giggle like a schoolgirl. Fridha and Giles gave each other a polite nod, and Cassandra and Tess were already standing next to each other. Spike and Kaya brought up the rear, with a composed Mayling in front of them. Willow nodded to herself. This was going to work out, they were going to be fine. Making sure they were all in line, she started walking. She set a quick pace, she didn't want to be here any longer than necessary. At first nothing happened. As far as she could see there was darkness, but the light on the floor went steadily forward. Trust the path, she told herself. Many had died simply because they doubted the path. She could hear the others behind her. Buffy and Angel were chatting casually about the weather in California versus New York. Giles had launched into a tirade on the Tian chronicles again. And vaguely in the distance she could here Spike and Kaya talking. It was comforting to hear her friends so calm. Suddenly it was quiet. She turned and found herself alone in the darkness. She sighed. Really! Was she suppose to believe this? She turned back to the path and kept walking. Soon she could here them again and she smiled to herself. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

They had walked for a while. It was hard to tell time in here, but it was getting a bit boring. Angel had suffered some delusions about Buffy dying but he had handled it well, laughed it off and never wavered from the path. Buffy saw something in the darkness but wouldn't say what. Giles was getting a little confused for a while but Fridha snapped him out of it. Willow was just starting to relax when she heard commotion behind her. Xander had stopped and was pointing at her and said in a loud, angry voice,

"How do we know she's not working with Catherine? How do we know she's not just wasting our time in here, so we won't stop her lover in time? Yeah, they're lovers! Willow and Catherine have been sucking face for ages!" She stared at him. Was this his worst nightmare? That he couldn't trust her. She couldn't breathe.

"Is it true?" Buffy asked accusingly and Willow flinched. This was bad. If they doubted her now they would all be lost! Giles gave her a stern look.

"Surely this can't be accurate. I have known you since you were a child. I've trusted you. You wouldn't betray me like that, would you?" Willow's heart sank as she saw the disappointment on his face.

"Look, we have to keep going!" she pleaded with them but they all stared at her with such anger and contempt that she was beginning to panic.

"Just tell me his wrong." Buffy said coolly, closing in on her. Willow stared at her in shock didn't know what to say. She wanted to deny it but for some reason she couldn't. And even if she did, would Buffy believe her?

"I know this looks bad but you have to trust me!" she begged, "We have to keep walking."

"I don't trust her." Xander said flatly. "I think she's leading us in circles with this light-show. I think there's a way out just a few steps to the left, or maybe to the right." Angel suddenly nodded.

"Yeah, I think he's right." Angel suddenly said. "I mean, if Willow really has been... doing Catherine, she's compromised. We can't trust her. It's time we found our own way out."

"NO!" Willow screamed, her voice cracking, every inch of her was shaking. This couldn't be! They were her friends. Tears poured down her cheeks and the pain ripping through her heart was unbearable. She watched them all disappear into the darkness and she was left alone, weeping helplessly on the floor.

She couldn't tell how long she had been lying there. It felt like forever. She was alone. They had abandoned her. She had lied to them and they left her. How could she blame them? Could she even trust herself? Slowly she made herself get off the floor. She may be alone but she wasn't going to give up that easily. Catherine was responsible for this. It was her fault that her friends would die in here! So she started walking, putting one foot in front of the other, trying not to think, not to feel. Frogs by the thousands began to fall from above but she ignored it. The stories she had heard about this place was clearly exaggerated. After what must have been hours, she finally saw a vague mist up ahead. It became more dense and soon it was all white, then she saw a wall, red with painted dragons. She stumbled through the last remnants of the mist and fell to the floor, exhausted. She had made it! But at what cost? How was she suppose to go on alone? Suddenly she heard a noise behind her. Buffy and Angel appeared out of the mist. When they saw her on the floor Buffy kneeled down beside her and asked, full of concern,

"Are you OK, Will?" Willow just stared at her in shock. It had all been a trick! And she hadn't seen through it. She had actually believed her friends would turn against her! She grabbed on to Buffy and held her as hard as she could.

"Hey, it's OK. We're all right." Buffy soothed her calmly. Willow was actually shaking. She struggled to breathe as the fear of the last few hours crashed in on her. When the worst of it had faded Buffy looked at her with a great deal of concern.

"What happened to you in there? It was like you couldn't see us." Willow straightened her back and took out the water bottle from her backpack. She needed to buy herself some time to think. She didn't want to lie to her oldest friend but admitting to her own weakness and distrust might make them all more vulnerable.

As Willow took a few sips of her water Xander stumbled through the mist with Deanna clutching to him with absolute horror written on her face. Xander looked like he had seen a ghost but was holding up reasonably well. Deanna on the other hand could barely stand.

"No points for fun on that ride." Xander said in an attempt at casual, but no one laughed. Right then Giles and Fridha walked out of the mist, both staring straight ahead in an extremely focused manner. When they realized they had made it through, they both relaxed almost simultaneously, creating a rather amusing mirror effect. Giles started cleaning his glasses immediately and Fridha began rummaging through her pouch with herbs as usual. Buffy sighed a little as she seemed to accept that Willow wasn't going to tell her anything. Instead she rose and gave Giles a questioning look.

"How are you holding up then?" she asked, as she nestled snugly into Angel's arms. Giles gave her a startled look, then cleared his throat.

"An interesting experience, no doubt, and one I could have done without. Still, a rare cerebral challenge certainly, clearly designed to inflict the maximum level of psychological distress. I found the usage of deceptive visions particularly intriguing. Especially since its obvious design was to make perception of the consequent fallacies seem even more credible. I'm sure it will make quite a chapter in my watchers diary." Buffy sighed faintly.

"You couldn't just have said 'fine'?"

Throughout Giles's harangue Willow's heart was beginning to race again. Mayling should have been right behind Giles and Fridha but no one came through. Seconds past and Willow began to fear the worst. If Mayling got lost in there she would never forgive herself. She should have paired with her, kept her safe... Suddenly shapes were seen through the mist and then Kaya came out, calm if perhaps a little pale. Spike came out right behind her with a thrashing and screaming Mayling over his shoulder. He put her down on the floor and she immediately launched at him, hitting, scratching and screaming. He pulled back and gave her an amused smile.

"She's got a lot of spunk for someone that small. I guess I should be glad she didn't turn me into a toad."

"She doesn't have enough power for that." Willow mumbled as she put her arms around the terrified girl. "Shh, it's all right now." she whispered, patting her hair, soothing her until the girl quietly wept against her chest. At that moment Willow had never felt more determined in her life. She was going to bring Catherine down!


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Angel glanced over at Willow with an unnerving sensation that something didn't smell quite right. She had bluntly refused to talk about what had happened inside the Path of Rangal, and it made his hair stand on end. What was she hiding? She was gathering far more energy than necessary, forming a large energy ball in her hand. Now she hurled it at the stone tablets that held the Path of Rangal with enough force to burn through a wall. He shared a concerned look with Buffy as the tablets were turned into dust and the mist hiding the Path vanished. The space that covered the Path of Rangal, as it turned out, wasn't much larger than five paces from the gates. They all stared at the small space they had covered in what felt like an eternity of time. Even Giles looked a little startled.

"Hm. I assume time was as distorted in there as space?" he asked thoughtfully, turning towards Willow. She was focusing on the doors leading in to the next room and hardly reacted, just nodded and said distantly,

"We've lost no more than a few minutes in real time."

"So how much time do we have left before the ceremony?" Xander asked nervously and Giles looked at his watch. He tapped it a few times then shrugged. Apparently watches didn't work in here.

"A little over an hour, normal time that is." Fridha put in and gave Xander a comforting nod. Giles gave her a surprised look. "I sense the magic of the crystal." she explained and Giles seemed to understand. Angel on the other hand couldn't help but wonder just how accurate her sensations were.

He forced himself to relax. He had worked long enough with the women in this coven to know they were good. And it was Willow who led them after all. He trusted her, he knew her. The images of Buffy torn to pieces still haunted him, though. The Rangal had done its job well in pinpointing his worst fears. The thought of losing Buffy was like a thorn in his chest. It used to be nothing more than a vague itch but now it was a constant, pulsating pain that left him staggering at times. After the kissing earlier, it had gotten increasingly worse. The memories of her touch, of her warm body next to his, all of it was burning in his mind. He wanted more, wanted her all the time, and it was tearing him apart. At the same time he had never felt stronger. When she looked up at him it was as if nothing existed but her. When she smiled all his pain vanished and he wanted to pick her up and take her away somewhere they could be safe. No more death, pain or danger. But then she blinked and he was brought back to reality. Giles was standing next to Willow, studying the doors to the next room of hell.

These pair of doors was very different from the front gates. These were forged from some kind of black metal with red flourished writings all over them. After studying it for a moment he realized he had seen it before. He certainly wasn't fluent but he did understand enough to know that whatever was behind those doors wasn't going to be easy to fight.

"Ancient Micrelian if I'm not mistaken. A warning of some kind" Giles said thoughtfully then tilted his head a little as he tried to make sense of it. "Not really my area of expertise," he added a bit disappointedly, "but I think it refers to a creature of Coloria. Not too difficult to defeat, maybe a spell?" he gave Willow a questioning look, but she didn't move, her eyes still transfixed on the writings. Angel frowned a little.

"Are you sure?" he asked doubtfully, "The Colorian warnings usually come with a more elongated strophe. Their massive egos usually give them away" Giles gave him a surprised look.

"You read ancient Micrelian?"

"Some, yeah. Not fluently but…"

"He's right." Willow suddenly interrupted. "This refers to a shadow that cannot be destroyed."

"Ah." Giles said, clearly feeling a bit hurt.

"So what do we do?" Xander put in, getting restless.

"We go in." Willow stated calmly and reached for the doorknob.

"Wait a minute." Spike interject and temporarily pulled himself away from Kaya . "Shouldn't we at least figure out how to bloody kill whatever is in there before we go charging in?"

"He's got a point." Giles agreed but Willow bluntly cut him off.

"If we stop every time Catherine throws something new at us we'll never get anywhere. Now common!" She promptly opened the door and walked inside. It sounded a too much like an order and Angel felt an urge to growl. But Buffy didn't seem to have any problem obeying. She was already close on Willow's heel and as she turned to see what held up the others she gave him a questioning look.

"What's wrong, Angel? She's right, isn't she? I mean, we can't stay here all day, or Catherine will win."

After hesitating for a moment he decided to ignore the warnings emanating from his gut and followed her inside. It was a dimly lit room with no windows and the walls were shrouded in darkness even his enhanced eyesight couldn't penetrate. The parquet floor was laid in intricate patterns with at least a dozen different types of wood. Someone had gone through a lot of trouble creating a mystical convergence under their feet. The room itself wasn't large exactly, maybe forty feet or so in length. He could clearly see another door at the end, a similar door to the one they had just stepped through but without the warnings.

Spike and Kaya came in last and as they stepped over the threshold the heavy, metal doors suddenly swung shut with a loud boom. They all froze and turned. Spike stared at them.

"It wasn't me, you nitwits! They just shut themselves." Angel couldn't help but growl now as every inch of him could sense the danger lurking in the shadows.

"It's a trap." he growled, scanning the room. He could feel something stirring but he couldn't see it. He hated fighting things he couldn't see. Willow had already made it half way across the room with Buffy close by, when something moved. He sensed it rather than saw it and his face changed instantly. He felt an overpowering urge to protect Buffy but he didn't want to overreact, or overprotect, so he hesitated a second too long. She suddenly screamed in agony then fell to the floor shaking violently. A second later he scooped her up in his arms and held her tight, while desperately trying to locate the threat. Everything was silent, except for the heavy breathing of his teammates. Buffy was lying unconscious in his arms and he turned towards Willow with an intense desire to cause pain.

"You did this! You and your arrogance!" he snarled but she just stood there with tears in her eyes, staring helplessly at Buffy.

"Willow!" Xander screeched jumping around like mad. "This is no time to go Popsicle on us! What the hell are we fighting and where are they?"

"I…I don't know." she stuttered and looked around frantically.

"I hate to be the one to point this out," Spike said slowly, "but there's nothing in here. Nothing living anyway."

"Shadows!" Angel hissed, angry that he hadn't thought of it sooner.

"Yap, that would be my guess." Spike agreed calmly, then suddenly grabbed Kaya and pulled her off the floor. She gave a small yelp as she was hoisted into his arms and for a moment she actually looked as though it was some form of romantic gesture and put her arms around his neck. Spike on the other hand had his eyes firmly focused on the floor where a strangely shaped shadow slowly glided passed where Kaya had stood and continued towards him.

"Get out of the way!" Angel exclaimed but Spike didn't move, just clenched his jaws as he always did when he was being stubborn. As the shadow reached him he relaxed a bit and said in a failing attempt at unbothered,

"It can't harm us, apparently. You were standing on it when you grabbed Buffy. Maybe it can't kill things already dead." He watched the shadow closely as it seemed to flow over his boots then suddenly it withdrew and vanish into the darkness. Kaya exhaled loudly and made no effort to get back on the floor. Spike smiled a little. He didn't seem to mind holding on. Giles cleared his throat.

"Well, hmm. Interesting. I must say I've never actually encountered shadows that could harm anyone. Was it just me or did it appear… well…clever?"

"The bloody thing new what it was doing if that's what you mean." Spike said emphatically.

"I suggest we try to get out of here as soon as possible. Who knows when it will try again. We've lost enough to this thing. " Angel tried not to let his emotions show but as he heard his own voice it didn't really work. The fear of losing Buffy was more than he could bear. Suddenly she moaned and twisted slightly. He almost felt like crying. Willow was already making her way to the doors, while keeping a watchful eye on the floor. Then she stopped. A large shadow was slowly creeping along the floor towards her. She tried to send an energy ball at it but it didn't even slow down. As the shadow got closer she had no option but to back up. Fridha pulled something out of her backpack, a small vial with a greenish content. When the shadow had reached her she poured it over the black shape and they all watched intently. After a momentary stop it resumed its path straight for Fridha.

With the large shadow creeping up in front of them and two smaller ones cutting off their exit, the group soon found themselves trapped in the middle of the room, huddling together in a circle. Xander was standing at the edge, pushing Deanna to safety in front of him. A feeler of the shadow slowly reached out for him and before Angel had a chance to warn him it touched his heavy soled boot and Xander flew up in the air like a startled frog.

"Aooo!" he screamed and almost fell over Deanna. "That hurt!" he added as if that was necessary information.

"We need to get them through that door." Angel ordered, assessing the distance, trying to figure the odds if they ran. "We have to make sure it's open." he added and looked around for Spike. Maybe the Slayer could survive a full blown attack from one of these things but clearly the others wouldn't.

"I'll go." Spike declared and put Kaya back on the floor with the others and started to run towards the door.

"We'll have to carry you out." Angel said to the others, trying to keep them calm while watching the shadows with increasing concern. They were moving faster, as if they knew what they were doing. "Spike, hurry!" he shouted as the shadows were getting closer. The entire floor around the group was pitch-black now, as if it had been consumed by an endless abyss. It covered his feet and he could feel the evil in it. Buffy opened her eyes and looked around suspiciously.

"What's going on?" she asked, still dazed.

"You were attacked. Don't worry, we'll have you out of here in no time." he answered, trying to sound as confident as possible but by the look in her eyes he could tell she wasn't at all convinced.

Spike was wrestling furiously with the door. After he unsuccessfully tried to open it by hurling his body at it in full force, he stood still for a moment muttering to himself. Angel was beginning to panic. The shadows were reaching the group and even if Spike could get the door open there wasn't enough time to get them out. Suddenly Tess spoke the word, "Inlumino" and released a small flash of pure light. To his surprise the shadow she was aiming for gave up an eerie squeal then actually retreated slightly. Seconds later both Willow and Deanna were throwing similar flashes in every direction until a cascade of light engulfed the room. The shadows shrieked and hissed, building up into a deafening crescendo. At first it seemed they would succeed in defeating them as the shadows pulled back. But it was only temporary and as they appeared to get used to the lights the shadows returned far more aggressively than before. They still didn't like the lights but whenever they got a chance they shot their feelers at the group, especially the witches. Occasional moans of pain were heard as they frenetically tried to keep the shadows at bay. Spike gave up on the door and came running.

"Change of plans big guy. I'll take the girl, you get the door." He motioned for Buffy but Angel hesitated. Letting her go was harder then he liked to admit. As he hesitated she suddenly wriggled out of his arms and landed on the floor.

"I can stand on my own thank you." she announced but swayed a bit and both he and Spike made a move to catch her. "Oh, for heaven sake!" she exclaimed, pushing them away, "I'm not a child! Just get us out of here!"

In a few leaps Angel had reached the door and was now touching the cold metal of the door with his fingers for a moment, trying to assess its strength, then he focused all his anger onto it. With a loud boom the door gave in a little as his fist hit it but not enough to open. He aimed again, now with his entire body. The shadows behind him were getting louder and the groans of pain from his friends more immediate. He steeled himself then charged forward and forced the door open with a loud crash. He stumbled, then fell but got up within seconds. Buffy! That was the only thought in his mind as he raced back to get her. The lights flashing around them seemed to have less and less effect on the shadows and once again they were creeping closer. Angel ignored Buffy's objections, hoisted her up on his shoulder and ran. Spike had grabbed both Kaya and Mayling and came through the door seconds after him. As he sat Buffy down on the ground Angel got ready to go back for the others but right in that moment a white light flashed that blinded him for a second then he saw the rest running through the doorway. Spike and Xander helped close the doors again, as much as they could be closed after their rather forceful opening, but it didn't seem that the shadows could leave the room anyway.

After he made sure the immediate danger was averted Angel practically fell to the floor next to Buffy and pulled her as close to him as possible. He was shaking all over and as the realization of what could have happened hit him it was almost too much to take. But she just laughed a little and said jokingly,

"You're choking me." He didn't laugh though, just whispered,

"I almost lost you again." With that she stopped fighting his efforts to hold her and even moved in closer to him. She looked him deep in the eyes and said soothingly,

"Don't worry my love. I'm still here." Then she kissed him.

Willow started pacing restlessly up and down the hallway, trying to clear her head. She had been careless and Buffy almost died. She had almost lost Mayling too. How did Buffy live like this, being responsible for the lives of her friends? When she and Catherine had traveled the world and dimensions in the apparent charade of fighting evil, she had secretly hoped that one day she would be met with the same kind of respect that Catherine always received, the respect of a leader. And a part of her had probably always felt a nudge of jealousy towards both Buffy and Angel for the status they had. But now all she wanted was to sit in a corner and wait for them to tell her what to do. She was done with leadership! No more impossible decisions. No more responsibility. No more!

"Willow, could this be a Drakar labyrinth perhaps?" Giles asked her thoughtfully as he carefully peered inside the entrance of the labyrinth. She sighed. After successfully, of not gracefully, escaping the shadows they had found themselves at the beginning of one of Catherine's favorite pastimes - a labyrinth. Willow hated them, especially after spending three days trapped in one before Catherine had rescued her. Catherine knew how much she disliked them of course, that's why it was here. When Giles gave her a questioning look over his glasses she shook her head.

"No, sorry. A Drakanian labyrinth we might have been able to find a way out of. This is Catherine's own design, I'm afraid. And before you ask me for a map, I haven't got a clue how to get through it. She loved creating impossible labyrinths. Did it for fun, even. Not that she put anyone in them, except herself from time to time, or maybe I should say I don't think she did..." She paused for a moment, then added with a sigh of resignation, "Then again, what would I know."

"Wait a minute?" Xander exclaimed, "Are you saying we're trapped here?"

"It would appear so." she answered faintly.

When she heard how defeated she sounded she flinched. Was this what Catherine had reduced her to? She glanced over at Buffy who was sitting on the floor, comfortably snuggled up in Angel's arms and watching her calmly. He watched her too, his dark eyes searching her face as if he was looking for something. A reason to doubt her maybe? She cringed. They were expecting her to, no counting on her to fix this, and she had no idea where to start.

"Why don't we just take a rope and tie one end here and see how far we get?" Xander asked in his usual optimistic way and started to pull a rope out of his backpack.

"Because this is no ordinary labyrinth." she answered patiently but without bothering to cover up the hopelessness she felt. "This is a magical one, it exist outside of time and space. You could tie a rope anywhere and it would still wind up nowhere. You walk in there you'll be lost within a few turns."

"An unravel spell could work." Tess suggested in her heavy Australian accent. Willow felt like crying.

"No it won't work! Do you honestly think Catherine would create something that could be broken that easily? We barely got through the cloaking spell! And that she wasn't even that good at." She realized she was shouting and blushed violently. This was no way for a High Priestess to act. She had to pull herself together. Their stares felt like knifes to her body. Tess straightened into her full length and as she approached Willow suspicion was written on her plain, square face.

"Just because you and Catherine had a special…" she paused for dramatic effect, "…relationship doesn't mean you're the only one who understands her. I knew her long before you came to the coven and I think an unravel spell will work. Quite frankly I'm surprised at you for resisting so stubbornly." There was a deathly silence as the tall woman clearly challenged her. Then she delivered the ultimate blow by adding accusingly, "Don't you want us to get out of here?" Willow found it hard to breathe. Wasting time and energy on a spell she knew wouldn't work went against everything she had learnt. But if the others thought she was working against them it would be equally bad. Tess now turned to the others for support and declared assertively,

"I am confident I can make it work." Willow sighed heavily and nodded.

"Fine, give it a try. Just be careful."

As Tess gathered herself to perform the spell Willow used the time to think. If Tess was successful here the coven would probably choose her as High Priestess when this was over. A part of her was glad, but it felt strange. She had spent the better part of seven years preparing for this role and now it seemed it might not have been meant to be after all. Tess began the chant and in an elegant motion she released the spell. She was very good at her craft and she was strong. Perhaps the coven would be better off with… Suddenly Willow felt a tingle at the back of her neck. Something was wrong.

Tess was standing at the base of the hallway and to her left was the entrance to the labyrinth where she had directed her spell. A faint shimmer hovered there now, signaling that the spell might have worked but as the others rejoiced and Tess looked at them with a confident smile, Willow felt a growing sense of alarm. What if Catherine had anticipated this move? What trap would she have put in motion to punish the one attempting to unravel her labyrinth? Seconds later Willow heard herself scream as she rushed over to try to get Tess out of harms way but she was too late. A surge of energy poured out of the entrance, enough to engulf them all. In that moment it was as if time froze. She could see it all in slow-motion; the pale, yellowish flame that she knew was designed to suck the breath out of every living creature and in its path were the people she cared about more than anything else. Without hesitation she summoned the powers to build a protective shield to prevent the flame from reaching them. Tess was already on the floor gasping for air, consumed by the energy flame, and as long as she remained there Willow couldn't break the spell she had cast, not without killing her. Then it dawned on her, vampires didn't need air!

"Spike." she heard herself say with a firm voice, "Pull her out." It was a direct order and the vampire obeyed without flinching. He quickly walked through the protective shield, into the flames and hoisted Tess over his shoulder and walked out. He carelessly dropped her in front of Willow and asked with a look of satisfaction,

"Now what?"

"Get out of my way." she said as calmly as she could and while she motioned for Cassandra to check on Tess she walked up to the protective shield and breathed deeply. She knew how to do this, she just had to concentrate.

After a rather longwinded chant the energy flame slowly burned out and she released the protective shield. She inspected the entrance, hoping against hope that perhaps it had done some damage on the weaves that held the labyrinth but it was intact. Tess was still on the floor with Cassandra working her healing. At least the woman was still alive. Willow had never felt so disheartened. With Tess down they were one powerful witch less and even if they could find a spell to break this labyrinth they might not have enough strength to do it. She kneeled next to Tess and gently stroked her hair.

"I should have known." she whispered, more to herself than to anyone else.

"I wasn't your fault, child." Fridha said sadly. "But we still have to find a way out. I believe a few Mangali chants might produce sufficient guidance through the labyrinth."

"No it won't!" Willow cried out more loudly than she had planned and rose to face her, to face all of them. "Why is this so hard to understand? The labyrinth is an ingeniously simple and cost-effective way of making sure people don't get to where they want to go. And our beloved High Priestess spent hours and hours constructing them to perfection. No magic is going to work here, don't you get that!"

She was angry now, angry at Catherine, angry at herself for believing in Catherine. So angry she wanted to cry. Suddenly Buffy untangled herself from Angel's embrace, and grabbed her sword.

"Buffy, it's not a thing you can kill." Willow said desperately but Buffy just turned towards her with a smile.

"You know what I've learnt over the years? When everything else fails, do the unexpected." With that she turned towards the labyrinth, but instead of hitting the entrance she aimed her sword at the wall in front of them. It was clearly a wall of solid bricks, built to force the travelers to enter the labyrinth. But instead of accepting the impenetrability of the wall Buffy rammed her sword straight into it. Willow shook her head jadedly. Buffy must have lost her mind. There was no point in trying to bring a wall down, it had no effect on the labyrinth or the magic that created it, nor did it change the inevitable…suddenly she gasped. Buffy's sword had penetrated the wall and as she pulled it out again there was a glimpse of light in the tiny hole her sword left behind. When she perforated the wall again, seemingly effortlessly, she twisted the sword horizontally and the magic of the labyrinth suddenly began to shimmer. Willow's heart started racing. Of course! This was the one weakness Catherine wouldn't bother fortifying! The one thing she would never have thought anyone would attack.

Angel and Spike swiftly joined Buffy and for every blow they inflicted on the wall the magic faded a little more. Within a few minutes the only thing left was the murky hallway and the wooden door that led into the next room.


	18. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Buffy watched as Spike cut away the last pieces of wood that used to be the door and looked inside. It was a massive hall, definitely the largest room they had seen so far and the ceiling was so high up she could only vaguely make out what the intricate drawings was suppose to look like. It apparently depicted some form of battle but none of the creatures looked human and there were some very odd weapons involved. At the far end two tall, heavy gates marked the entrance to what must be the main room. Several tall but narrow windows lined the ceiling of the outer walls, and the room was cast in the same eerie light from the eclipsed sun as before. She almost preferred darkness. But the main event of the room was a large, strange looking ball at its center. It seemed to be made up of thousands of beige twigs and to make matters worse the twigs actually seemed to be moving and she could hear a faint crackling coming from it.

"What the bloody hell is that!" Spike exclaimed next to her as he stared at the thing. No one answered; they all just crowded near the entrance to stare. Clearly none of them were too eager to go inside and find out.

"Do you think it's alive?" Deanna suddenly asked quietly, huddling close to Xander. They all turned to look at her in surprise, since she rarely spoke.

"Probably. Would be way too easy if it was dead." Xander answered then added with a glance towards Angel, "But I'm sure they can kill it, right?"

"A little hard to say if we don't know what it is." Angel stated and she felt him move a little closer. Not that she minded his arm protectively around her waist and truth be told she wanted nothing more than to rest her head against his chest, but this was no time to indulge in fussy feelings.

"Angel, we need to talk." she said firmly and pulled him back into the hallway, away from the rest.

"What is it?" he asked cautiously.

"Look, we both know that thing in there isn't going to die easy. This is her last stand and she would bring out the big guns for that."

"Yeah?"

"You have to promise me you won't hold back or lose focus." she continued, sounding a little more desperately then she had wanted. "I can't fight if I have to worry about you. OK?" He thought for a moment, avoiding her eyes. When he looked at her again there was deep concern in them.

"I can promise you I will try, but you can't convince me you're at your best here, and I worry about you, always. I can't stop. I love you."

"I know!" she said exasperated. "But that's what I mean. We can't let that be a reason to lose here. I'm the Slayer, not some helpless little nitwit. Even at my worst I promise you I can beat whatever she throws at me, as long as I can see it. But you have to let me, OK? Let me do my job and concentrate on doing yours."

Suddenly a big, mischievous smile lit up his face and the concern in his eyes was replaced by pure love and admiration. She felt herself blush violently from head to toe and in that instance she was overwhelmed by a desire to rip his clothes off. She matched his smile and they merged in a passionate kiss that filled every cell in her body with a lust for life.

When Giles cleared his throat trying to get their attention they regretfully pulled away from each other. With an encouraging nod Angel let her go and she actually looked forward to get into close combat. She hadn't felt this powerful in ages and the sword felt as light as air in her hand. When they got to the doorway Spike gave them a scornful smile.

"Done snogging then?" She just gave him a sly smile and said eagerly,

"Let's go kill this thing!" Then the three of them stepped through the doorway.

Giles held his breath. The large mass of sticks that had been folded into a sphere in the middle of the room slowly stirred as Buffy, Spike and Angel moved closer, and the strange crackling, hissing noises from inside got more insistent. He would feel a lot better if they had a clue what this creature was, but Catherine had once again shone that she had ways of bringing forth creatures more evil than any of them had ever heard of. It was a terrifying thought indeed. Willow had tried to inflict damage to it with her energy balls but it barely moved. He hoped dearly that Buffy was as strong as she claimed she was. He had been close to losing her so many times the last week he was beginning to feel numb.

The rest of the group was hovering near the doorway. He could feel them twitch restlessly. They probably felt as useless as he did but it was obvious this would take physical strength and the two vampires and the Slayer was far better suited for that then the rest of them. It was hard to believe that this young woman that now so confidently challenged the unknown giant without so much as a hint of hesitation had once been an ordinary sixteen year old girl. He clearly remembered when Buffy first came into his life, young, scared and naïve. But she was powerful even then, more so than any other Slayer before her. And the two vampires standing tall by her side were the ultimate proof. Knowing her, loving her had changed these two creatures of the night into forceful defenders of good. She had already far exceeded all hopes he had concerning his Slayer and watching her now he felt certain she was far from finished.

The warriors got to about eight feet of the creature when it suddenly began to unfold. Sticks and thin tentacles slowly rose as one with a rattling sound that mixed with the crackling and grew into a terrifying crescendo. He had to stop himself from gasping out loud as it grew larger and larger in front of them. Xander on the other hand didn't bother with any fake heroics.

"Oh crap, that thing is big!" he exclaimed, his voice breaking a little at the end. Good old Xander, always voicing what was on everyone's mind. Indeed it was big. Big enough for Spike, Buffy and Angel to take pause and stare as the creature stretched up all the way to the ceiling like a gigantic web. But Giles had to marvel at this most curious being. It didn't seem to have a head or arms and legs in any real sense. It was just a tangled web of these strange stick-like things going in all directions. When the being had reached the ceiling it began to stretch out to both sides as well and soon it covered their path to the gates perfectly. Ingenious! Still he couldn't imagine what weapons this creature could have. The sticks themselves seemed fairly fragile and except the shear size there didn't appear to be anything particularly dangerous about this being. Giles hesitated a moment. Perhaps a closer look wouldn't hurt. Maybe he could determine what this was if he could… A high pitched shriek filled the room and forced them all to cover their ears and fight the urge to run the other way. It almost sucked the air out of his lungs and he squeezed his eyes together in pain, praying it would end soon.

When the shriek subsided Buffy and Angel advanced, with a somewhat dazed Spike right behind them. Buffy delivered the first blow, right into the thick wall of sticks and tentacles. It didn't seem to do much damage at first but as they all began to cut their way mercilessly through the web the web began to sway. Suddenly it shrieked again, but as they all backed away in pain, the shrieks changed from one single noise to several hundreds. All they could do was stare when the large mass dissolved into hundreds of small, insect-like creatures that fell from the sky like a Biblical nightmare. Giles tried to focus on one of them long enough to get an idea of what they were, but it was tricky in the chaos of falling and scurrying creatures. Eventually he concluded that they were about six feet tall, had six gangly legs attached to a slightly thicker rod that apparently served as a body. At the high end of this rod-like body there was a tiny outcrop where two black dots were placed that could well be the creature's eyes. Tentacles grew out of the head and the rest of the body and they swayed in the air like hair in the wind. They had no mouth that Giles could see, nor claws or anything sharp at all, except the legs. Never had he seen such a strange creature but it wasn't until they had surrounded Spike, Buffy and Angel that he fully realized the danger. They used their legs to strike out and it was all the warriors could do to keep them at bay.

He grabbed a sword out of his backpack. Some of these insect creatures had noticed the group standing in the doorway and was now heading their way. The sound their legs made as they scurried over the floor to get to them made his skin crawl but he steeled himself. They didn't seem too difficult to kill. Xander had found an ax and was standing ready right next to him with Kaya clutching a small sword beside him. Willow threw an energy ball to see if it had an effect and to Giles's relief the insect went down immediately. Unfortunately there were a few hundred coming behind it so there would be plenty left to fight. Tess was getting off the floor where she had barely recovered enough strength to stand up. She had clearly been humbled by the experience and had no problem responding to Willow's command to join them along the wall ready to rain fire over the insects. Giles took a deep breath. It looked like a tidal wave of insects that were coming at them at a striking speed. Catherine had certainly made sure they would have a very small chance of success. He threw a sidelong glance at Fridha who was standing close to him holding a small pouch.

"How long?" he asked her simply and she smiled sadly.

"Not long enough." she answered. In that moment the insects were upon them and he had to focus all his energy on the surviving.

They were going to die! Kaya fought the tears as hard as the damn bug in front of her. To get this close and still go out like this, it was more than she could bear. To her right she could see the witches burning their bugs but more kept coming. Endless amounts of them. She whacked one of them with her sword and it went down, then it got up again, now on five legs instead of six. She ducked as it launched at her with another leg then got around it and hacked away at the body that held the legs. Maybe that was the way to kill this thing. Suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her arm, a scream escaped her and she fell to the floor. She realized that a tentacle had hit her and she couldn't believe how much it hurt. Xander reached down and pulled her up seconds before one of the bugs stomped a leg where she had been. She nodded a thanks, ignored the pain and started hacking away again. Pure rage fueled her, rage that they would die here. Rage and fear. Fear that he would die first. It was a strange thought. She almost didn't want him to die more than she didn't want to die herself. She could hear them fighting somewhere deep inside the jungle of lethal insects. It had taken her so long to find him and now they would die. She had always thought Angel was the only one she would ever love but Spike had hit her like lightning from a clear sky. What was up with her obsession with vampires anyway! Another tentacle hit her back and she gasped in pain but managed to stay on her feet this time. She turned just in time to see the sharp leg coming at her and as she dodged it the pain in her back took her breath away. But she got under it and stabbed her sword with all her might and rage through the bug. It went down but she kept hacking at it, chopping it into tiny pieces with tears rolling down her face. When she noticed the Watcher looking at her over his shoulder she stopped. He was right, plenty of other bugs to kill, no reason to pick on this one. Fine she would kill! She'd kill them all.

Her legs were so tired they were shaking and her arms could barely lift the sword. She had no idea how long she had been fighting. It felt like hours, days, years even. Something had changed but she didn't dare to think the thought, didn't dare to hope. She chopped the head off the bug, for what felt like the millionth time then turned, ready to take on the next one. To her surprise there were no one left. Xander had already collapsed on the floor and the Watcher was leaning against the wall breathing heavily, while the witch with healing powers was going around offering her help, even though she looked like she could barely stand up herself. Kaya felt exhausted too. Her legs craved rest but to her own surprise there was something she wanted more than that. She looked out over the large hall. The floor was covered with chopped off and burned bug parts and she dreaded having to walk across it all but she knew what she wanted and nothing was going to stop her.

Buffy, Angel and Spike were standing in the middle of the room. All around them were piles and piles of bug pieces. Kaya noted with curiosity that those three had apparently killed as many as the rest of them put together, and yet they seemed not nearly as tired. It wasn't fare. She inhaled hard then put one determined foot in front of the other, wading through the piles of dead bugs. Spike was cleaning off his sword when he noticed her. He got an odd look in his eyes as she came towards him and for a fleeting second her mind had enough time to point out to her that there was a small chance he didn't want to see her right now. Maybe she had just imagined the connection between them! It's not like she had a whole lot of experience when it came to these things. But to her relief he put his sword down and went up to meet her. As she put her head against his chest and his arms pulled her close to him she exhaled and allowed herself to relax. Tears of exhaustion poured down her cheeks but she didn't care. Despite the aches and pains she was happy. She looked up at him and to her satisfaction he seemed happy too.

Buffy stretched her muscles tentatively while looking out over the battlefield. The energy she had felt before was gone. Now all she felt was pain and exhaustion again. But it wasn't over yet. Now they had to get inside the main room and get to Catherine which probably wasn't going to be any easier than anything else today. She sighed heavily and gently touched one of the many tender scars on her body. It was closing already, it was a good thing she healed fast. The tentacles had been the most annoying thing about these bugs. Fighting back to back with Angel and Spike they had avoided any serious wounds but the burning sensations were bad enough. They had been a little nervous for a while when they noticed the legs of these bugs seemed to be covered with a wood-like substance which might have been enough to kill the vampires by her side. Luckily the bugs weren't too smart and their fighting tactics was more based on striking out and hoping for the best. Still she had a nagging feeling that something wasn't quite right here. She couldn't put her finger on it but looking out over the sea of dead bugs she had a strong sensation that danger still lurked there. But nothing stirred and she shook it off. They had to keep moving.

When she turned she saw Kaya making her way across the floor, her eyes intently fixed on Spike. Buffy smiled. Not in a million years would she have thought those two would get romantic with each other but clearly they had. The look in Spike's eyes when he saw her approach said everything. She was happy for them though. Angel was watching them too and when he noticed she saw him looking he smiled and walked up to her.

"It's a bit odd but I guess I'll have to get used to it." he said then leaned down to kiss her. She pulled him close and whished they could stay like that forever. But they soon parted all too aware of the challenges that lay ahead.

Giles was pushing through the debris of the battle with some effort, occasionally leaning down to study the remains more closely. When he reached them he said cheerfully,

"Well done." motioning to the vast amount of dead critters around them.

"You weren't too bad yourself." she answered with a smile. Giles suddenly turned towards Fridha with a concerned frown.

"Is it still too late?" he asked and Buffy realized she had completely forgotten about the ticking clock.

"No, this went a lot quicker than I would have thought. But it's only a few minutes before she can start the ceremony. After that it will be hard to stop her. She can tap into the powers of the crystal and be stronger than ever before." Buffy felt a sinking feeling taka a hold. But Willow was heading for the gates looking calm and determined. It wasn't over yet. If she could get them inside Buffy was sure they could fight whatever was in there.

Unfortunately the bad feeling in her gut kept growing stronger. Even Angel seemed to sense something. He was walking slowly among the piles of corpses, watching them cautiously. To Giles apparent surprise he was even kicking them occasionally as if to make sure they were dead. Giles gave her a questioning look.

"Something is wrong." she explained and in that moment something moved inside the piles and it all happened so fast she didn't have time to think. Every muscle in her body tensed instantly and she was already making the first leaping step towards Angel when the bug rose behind him. Its long sharp legs were aimed right at Angel's back and in that moment she realized he wouldn't be able to turn around fast enough and she wouldn't get there in time. She would lose him! This couldn't be!

Buffy saw how the bug moved closer to Angel as if it all happened in slow motion. Her foot landed on a pile of bug parts and for a second she almost lost her balance but she regained it again in time to see how Angel turned around, his sword held high. All she could think was 'no not again'. Suddenly she saw something else move in the corner of her eyes. Spike was flying through the air then landed heavily on the bug while pushing Angel out of harms way. She almost fell over him as she stumbled towards the bug with only one desire - to kill. Her sword cut through the body of the bug and it all went silent again. She stood there staring for a second, trying to catch her breath then she turned to make sure Angel was OK.

"I'm fine." he said reassuringly as she helped him up with what must have been panic written on her face. He soothed her gently and she began to breathe normally again. Suddenly someone cried out in grief. It was Kaya who had just kneeled next to Spike. Buffy realized she had been so focused on Angel she hadn't even noticed Spike lying there, blood pouring down his chest. He tried to get up but failed and in that moment it dawned on her how badly he was hurt.

Buffy sat down next to Spike's bloodied body. Three bug-legs were clearly sticking out through his chest but luckily neither had gotten near his heart. He would be alright. But his eyes were closed and clearly Kaya was worried he was going to die. She was gently caressing his forehead and asked with desperation in her voice,

"William? William, can you hear me?" It took a few seconds before Buffy realized she was using his human name. It had been so long since she had heard it she had almost forgotten. Spike looked up as she spoke his name and smiled at her.

"Don't worry luv, not dust yet." Tears rolled down her cheeks and Buffy knew how she felt. Cassandra had made her way to them and was now leaning down beside Buffy.

"We need to get those things out of him." she stated as a matter of fact. Buffy nodded and she and Angel helped him sit up. Buffy cringed a little. She hated having to hurt people she cared about but there was no other way.

"Sorry, but this is going to hurt I'm afraid." she said sympathetically.

"Just get these bloody things out of me." he grunted and she and Angel took hold of the broken off legs protruding from his back. On the count of three they pulled them out of him and he screamed out in pain. Kaya looked like she was about to crawl out of her skin. They carried him away from the bugs and gently placed him on the floor close to the gates. When Cassandra began to heal his wounds Kaya started pacing back and forth, not sure what to do with herself. Buffy went up to her.

"It's going to be OK, Kaya. He's survived worse than this." Kaya gave her a look she couldn't read. Her strange eyes made it hard to know what she was feeling. But she nodded.

"It's just that…it hurts." she said simply and Buffy knew exactly what she meant. Maybe they weren't that different after all.

"I know." she answered and patted her arm reassuringly.

Angel was watching Cassandra slowly move her hands above Spike's body with a stunned expression on his face. Buffy walked up to him.

"Are you OK?" she asked tentatively. He looked at her with such a confused expression that she had to laugh.

"Why would he do that?" he asked her and she gently caressed his cheek.

"Because he loves you, silly." she answered and giggled at the look of shock in his eyes. Men!

"I bloody hell don't!" Spike suddenly spat angrily where he lay on the floor and tried to get up. The pain was too great though and he had to lie down again. Cassandra gave him a cold stare.

"Oh really." Buffy mocked. "Then why would you risk your life to save his?" She wasn't going to let them get away that easily. Spike thought for a moment, clearly trying to figure it out himself. Coming up blank he just grunted,

"I was going for the damn bug. Reflex, that's all." At that he closed his eyes again as if that was it. Angel actually looked relieved. She shook her head in frustration.

"Why can't you two ever admit that you care about each other?" Angel was about to say something when they were interrupted by the sound of heavy gates slowly creaking. Willow had finally succeeded opening them but what they saw was more bewildering than anything they had ever seen and Buffy felt that sinking feeling return. In front of her lay the impossible; an endless, blue ocean.


	19. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Xander had to rub his one good eye to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He had seen many strange things in his life but this took the price. Where one would have expected the next room to be there was now an ocean. The water stretched as far as one could see and even the sky seemed to go right into space. There was no sun exactly but it was bright, as it would be on a clear summer's day. A gentle breeze came in through the gates and the water rolled softly across the threshold. It was obviously some kind of an illusion but how could she make it look so real? It even smelled right. He hesitated slightly but his curiosity soon got the better of him and he kneeled down to touch it. Sure enough it felt right too; wet and a little chilly. Without thinking he let his fingertips meet his tongue. Amazingly it even tasted like seawater. This was impressive. He turned to see what Willow was going to do about it but she just stood there staring into the distant horizon. To his surprise a tear made its way down her pale cheek. That couldn't be good.

"Willow?" he asked cautiously. "What's wrong? Shouldn't you like do something here? We don't have much time." He looked over at Fridha to get her to confirm that time was running out but she just hung her head and turned away. "Hey guys…" he tried, starting to feel desperate. No one moved. Tess looked like she had swallowed a goat, Cassandra was still sitting by Spike's side but she had her head in her hands and it looked like she was crying and Deanna's eyes were filling up with tears. Only Mayling seemed as confused as he felt and as she unsuccessfully tried to get Willow's attention she started to get a desperate look in her eyes.

"What's going on here?" he tried again, walking up to Willow. "Will, what's wrong?" She flinched, as if she hadn't even been aware of his presence. Then she inhaled hard and straightened.

"It's over Xander, that's what's going on. We've lost, she's won." His heart was beating so fast he thought his chest might explode.

"What do mean? It isn't over! You can fix this!"

"No I can't. I've failed. I…" she tried to say something more but her legs gave way and she literally fell to her knees crying.

"This isn't happening!" he heard his voice reach a high note and he forced himself to breathe calmly. "You can't just give up, not now, not when we've gotten this far!" He turned to Tess but she seemed as broken as Willow.

"It's too difficult." Tess said hoarsely. "It will take too long."

"The ceremony has begun." Fridha put in straightening a little.

"We can't give up!" Xander felt like screaming, in fact he probably was. Why was he the only one who was willing to do something? Anything was better than this!

"No one is giving up." Buffy suddenly declared calmly, untangling herself from Angel. She went over to Willow and kneeled down in front of her. She calmly took her head in her hands and looked her deep in the eyes.

"We've been through a lot you and me, a lot worse than this. I know you loved her. That's OK. There is nothing wrong with loving someone, even when it doesn't turn out the way you want it to. I have no doubt Catherine means well but her actions will end the world and we can't let that happen. This is what we do, we stop doomsdays and holocausts. And we will stop this too." Buffy's voice was so calm and determined that Xander felt totally reassured already. Of course they were going to make it. They always did. But Willow didn't seem as convinced.

"You don't understand." she replied breathlessly. "This mirage is built on so many different energy levels I could have the whole coven with me and not be able to break it."

"You don't need them. Trust me, Will. If Catherine could build it you can break it, you just have to believe. There is a great deal of power in love. I should know." She glanced over at Angel then continued, "You need to use that power now and end this." She took a firm hold on Willow's shoulders and rather forcefully helped her up on her feet. "I believe in you. _We_ believe in you." Willow seemed to come around a little but she was still hesitating. Xander felt like hitting something.

"There is no time, she's started already." She looked at Buffy pleadingly Xander wanted to cry in frustration but the Slayer just thought for a moment then gazed up towards the windows.

"The mirage, it only exists within this doorway, right?" she asked thoughtfully.

"Yeah. What are you thinking?"

"I'm going to buy you time." she said with a confident smile

Xander watched as Buffy tried to estimate how high up the windows were and he had never felt more proud of her. She was going to fix this, make it all better like she always did. It gave him a warm feeling inside to know that the Slayer was back. He hadn't realized how abandoned he had felt when she had disappeared like that. Even Giles seemed a lot more at ease. Apparently Xander wasn't the only one who had feared they had lost her for good. But Angel wasn't happy for some reason.

"You can't do this, Buffy. It's too dangerous." he pleaded with her but she just casually waved him off.

"There's no other way in, right?" she pointed out calmly and for the first time it dawned on him what she was planning and suddenly the cold lump in his belly was back. Was she crazy? She pulled a knife from her backpack and aimed it at the window closest to the gates. She hit it on the first try and the glass shattered with a noise that echoed in the large room. Xander held his breath. There was no way she could get up there! And the window was way too narrow for her to fit through. This was madness! But who was he to say anything? He was the one who had insisted someone did something. She was definitely doing something.

"Please!" Angel was getting desperate now. "At least tie a rope around you so I can catch you if you fall." She smiled up at him then nodded.

"Sure, but hurry."

When Angel had tied the rope around her waist he clearly had to steel himself not to make her stay. She knew it and they shared a tense moment of mutual understanding before kissing passionately. Xander couldn't watch anymore. He turned away towards the ocean. It was strangely soothing. Willow was standing at the waters edge, her eyes closed and her face almost serene. He whished he had a clue what she did when she stood quietly like that. But no matter how often she had tried to make him understand the essence of magic he never got it. Right now he didn't care, as long as it worked. He could hear something behind him and turned around just as Angel elevated Buffy through the air and up towards the window. She reached it barely and had to heave herself up and wiggle her body through the narrow opening. When she had maneuvered her leg over the ledge and was sitting with one leg on either side she looked down at them and waved a little. Then she pulled herself through the window and was out of sight. Angel held on to the rope in his hands like it was a matter of life and death, and come to think of it it probably was. Xander closed his eyes and for the first time in his life he actually prayed.

Buffy's fingers slipped a little and she whished she had remembered to bring some chalk or something. She inhaled as much as she could in this thin air and edged herself one step closer to the window on the other side. Her clumsy boots weren't made for climbing walls and she had thought of taking them off but that would mean she would have to fight barefoot and that wasn't good. Luckily it wasn't too far. She could see the ledge and kept her focus on that, trying hard not to look down. The temple was built right on top of the mountain and she was so high up she would probably have time to write her memoirs on her way down if she fell. She forced herself to stop thinking like that and focused on getting herself to safety. The rough blocks of stone that mad up the wall was relatively easy to climb but with every muscle in her body already aching it was certainly not a pleasant climb.

When she finally reached the window she sighed in relief. But after she carefully wedged her body onto the small ledge and peeked inside her heart sank. Catherine was standing on a large raised area that served as an altar. In front of her was an elaborate table where the crystal was placed on a massive book. On the wall hung a vast, beautifully embroidered canvas in red silk, picturing dragons and other mystical animals. Around the altar stood seven witches in a half circle, each holding a black candle. Wide steps lead up to the altar and at the base stood the only fighters Buffy could see. Unfortunately they were more than enough. Apparently Catherine had enlisted the help of the Farach clan, an old line of mercenaries dating back to before mankind. They were technically demons but they weren't evil per say. They basically served any master as long as the price was right and that usually meant power. They had shown up in surprising numbers this time though. Rumor had it there weren't more than a dozen left but down there she counted six which meant they sent half their clan for this battle. Clearly the High Priestess had promised them a whole lot of power. She had met one of them once but back then they had been fighting on the same side. He had been good though, very good. Ah well, no point in postponing the inevitable.

She tugged at the rope three times as they had agreed would be the sign that she was alright then she untied it and let it go. She reached over her shoulder and unsheathed the sword from her back, then braced herself for the jump. With a single blow from the swordhilt the glass shattered and she put the sword back in its sheath before leaping to the floor. She could sense the surprise in the room as she fell and when she hit the floor she rolled up on her feet as fast as she could, trying not to let anyone see how much the jump had actually hurt. She quickly reached for her sword then stood there for a moment catching her breath and sizing up the competition. The Farach warriors hadn't moved but Catherine had turned away from the table and was staring at her along with the other witches. Obviously this wasn't what she had expected.

"Sorry to drop in like this," Buffy said in a cheerful tone, "but I didn't want to miss out on all the fun." Catherine's face hardened considerably and Buffy had to stop herself from gloating. It wasn't over yet.

"What a nice surprise." Catherine greeted her coldly.

"Hi guys!" She waved a little to the Farach warriors. They all pretty much looked the same with their large yellow eyes and chubby noses but she thought she saw a glimmer of recognition in the eyes of one of them. Perhaps he was the one she had met before. She smiled a little extra, hoping to get some reaction but all she got was cold stares. They were definitely professionals. But she tried anyway and said in a friendly voice,

"It's good to see you again." One of them looked down for a second but that was the only reaction she got. She sighed a little and kept her distance. She had seen first hand how dangerous their machete-like weapons could be and she was eager to keep them at arms length as long as possible. At least Catherine was too busy trying to stare her down to get on with the ceremony.

"You don't really think you can stop _me_, do you?" Catherine asked contemptuously. Buffy just smiled at her.

"Well I thought I'd give it a try but I see you have bought yourself some impressive bodyguards." She turned towards the warriors and added, "You do realize she's not going to give you anything when this is over, right? I mean why should she? If she completes this ceremony she will be God. Why should she care about you?" She hoped she could at least make a small dent in their convictions but they just stood there like blocks of ice, waiting for Catherine's orders. Suddenly Catherine started to laugh, a mad laughter that filled the large hall and made Buffy's hair stand on end.

"And you would know!" she practically screamed in a hysterical voice. "Little miss Slayer, the one true champion, the CHOSEN ONE!" The last part came out as a shriek and even the Farachs gave her a startled look. Buffy decided to fuel Catherine's contempt.

"Yes," she said in a loud voice, "I am the Chosen One, the champion of good and my job is to stop people like you." Just like she planned this statement sent Catherine into a mad tirade of insults that Buffy didn't even bother listening to. Instead she discreetly checked her surroundings. It was a large room, even bigger then the last one. Thick pillars held up the ceiling and in two of the corners someone had placed gigantic marble statues of weird animals. It was good that there was a lot of space but she could have used a little more places to hide behind. If she had to fight the Farachs she was going to need to play it smart. She might match one or two of them in shear strength but not six. She prayed Willow would break that spell soon, she would need Angel for this if she was going to stand a chance. They could have used Spike too but Angel's extra strength would be more useful.

Suddenly she noticed Catherine had gone silent. When Buffy turned to look at her a glimmer of hate touched the eyes of the High Priestess.

"So, you've come to stop me have you?" she said in a creepy voice, "You'll have to stop them first." She motioned towards the Farachs then ordered in a loud voice, "Kill her!" The Farachs responded instantly and all six of them moved in on her. She gripped her sword a little tighter while noticing with satisfaction that Catherine seemed to be taking more of an interest in the battle below than the ceremony. Maybe this could buy Willow the time she needed. In a sudden spurt she charged the warriors holding her sword high. Her surprise tactics nicked one of them badly in the arm before she leaped out of the way and started to back up again.

"Go on, get her you useless mongrels!" Catherine shouted angrily and to Buffy's satisfaction the Farachs didn't seem happy about having a coach screaming at them. But it didn't take long for them to come up with a strategy that was fool proof. Two of them went on either side of her while two came in from the front. She had to make herself breathe calmly. This was it, the battle of her life. She went into the zone, focused all her energy on the fight. Nothing else mattered, nothing else existed, only the hard sound of metal against metal and flesh against flesh.

Willow had to close her eyes to sense the complex weaves of energy that made up the mirage before her. The ocean itself was hypnotic, designed to lure you into thinking you would be better off enjoying its beauty than trying to break the mirage. That was the strength of the mirage, the power of suggestion. But this one was so perfectly done it was hard to resist its perfection even with her eyes closed. Buffy had been so certain she could break this mirage but she had no idea what it really entailed. Buffy was her oldest and closest friend and she had more courage than anyone Willow had ever met but she had very little understanding of the world of magic. To Buffy there were two ways to go, either you fought or ran. But magic was a mind game, resting on convictions rather than strength. And experience, which Catherine had a lot more of than any which alive.

Willow forced herself not to give in to the tears that threatened to well up inside her. She felt angry and scared, neither of which was very helpful when it came to magic. Buffy had said there was power in love and considering the remarkable change she had undergone from one simple kiss Willow was inclined to agree. But the feelings Buffy and Angel shared was very different from what she had with Catherine. For one thing Catherine was about to end the world as they knew it. OK, so Angelus had been close to doing that too but that wasn't the same. Was it? Willow felt like screaming in frustration as thoughts kept bouncing around incessantly in her mind. This was getting her nowhere! She had to find a way around Catherine's weaves. She took a deep breath. What did she have to lose?

Willow searched her memory. Deep down, buried under piles of loathing and guilt laid a memory she used to treasure more than any other. It had happened almost three years ago now. She and Catherine had been brought into a dispute between two warring demon clans in a separate dimension. One clan had stolen a child of the King in the other clan and was hiding it on earth for ransom. A small massacre in a town in India had brought the incident to Angel's attention and after he failed to negotiate a truce, or even convinced them to take their war somewhere else, he had contacted the coven. Catherine had never hesitated. After making sure Buffy and her team had gotten the child to safety she had taken Willow with her and opened a portal right into the royal court of the clan whose child had been kidnapped.

The next few weeks allowed Willow to see Catherine in a completely different light. Up until then she had just been a stern and impervious teacher. But the challenges in the dimension of Kolahrial gave Willow a glimpse of a whole knew side to Catherine and as the negotiations occasionally got rather dangerous the two women grew closer and to Willow's surprise the older woman was anything but stern. Instead she found that she had a big, warm heart that beat with a surprising passion. Her magic was fueled by the strength of her eagerness to help and her blunt refusal to accept injustices no matter what the cost.

The dimension of Kolahrial was breathtaking with its three moons, lush woods and purple lakes, which inevitably brought with it some of the most romantic moments in Willow's life. And on the eve of the celebrations over the new peace treaty almost a month after their arrival, Willow realized for the first time she was in love. After Catherine and Willow had joyfully challenged each other in creating magical lights across the sky in honor of the celebrations, they had found themselves alone on the roof. It never got really dark there so a soft glow lingered over this beautiful world they soon would have to leave. The gentle sounds of the celebration filled the air and in one perfect moment Catherine had leaned in and kissed her. She could still feel the tingles that kiss had sent through her body and the yearning for more. How could it have come to this? What had happened to Catherine?

Questions tore at her as she struggled to maintain control. But somewhere in the midst of her emotional turmoil a realization hit her. She had assumed Catherine would use dark magic to construct her challenges but what if she hadn't? Willow breathed deeply as she carefully prodded the weaves with her mind. Catherine was powerful and wise but she had weaknesses like all humans. She was a perfectionist which made her put insane amount of time and energy into making sure the details were done as well as could be but she often lost track of the big picture. Willow slowly let her mind flow down along the main weave with its trajectory supposedly twisting in on itself to create the sense of infinity and suddenly there it was. The perfection of the threads was astonishing but there was an unbalance in their connecting nodes. If she could direct enough energy on them simultaneously perhaps the whole mirage would fall. She focused, brought all of her energy to one single point and then released it without hesitation. The energy flowed from her in an even stream and quickly reverberated through the mirage. Seconds later it winked out of existence.

When she opened her eyes she saw the simple cloaking spell that had been the basis for the mirage. Before she brushed it aside she looked over her shoulder to see if the others were ready. Tess was looking at her with a stunned expression that soon changed into admiration. Mayling just seemed like she had expected nothing less and Fridha gave her a confident nod. Angel was pacing back and forth like a caged lion, his face already changed and he was growling something about Buffy being in danger. Spike was getting up from the floor with Kaya's help, clearly against Cassandra's whishes but he wasn't taking no for an answer. They were as ready as they would be. She breathed in deeply, raised her hands and unleashed the spell that unraveled the cloak. In an instant the silence was shattered and the sound of sword against sword was mixing with Catherine's steadfast chanting. She had made it!


	20. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Angel frantically looked around the large room. He could sense that Buffy was in danger and the sent of her blood was getting stronger. The problem was her sent was all over the place. Suddenly he saw her on the floor desperately trying to fend off an attacker. Every part of his body tensed as he covered the distance in flying leaps and crashed his full weight into her attacker. When he had averted the immediate danger he regained his balance and used the element of surprise to chop the head off another guy that stood near by, only to meet the sharp end of a sword cutting through his shoulder. He retreated slightly and it took a few seconds before his brain put the appearance and smell of the enemy together with a name; the Farach clan. He had never met them before but he had heard enough to make him whish for another bug to fight. Buffy was still on the ground, bleeding and badly hurt. Spike was slowly making his way in their direction but in his condition he would be very little use in a fight. Kaya was not bad in a fight but not near good enough for these hardened mercenaries. And the others were already preoccupied with Catherine and her witches. So he basically faced them alone.

He gritted his teeth a little then straightened. If Buffy could hold out this long and even manage to kill one of them, he should be able to keep them distracted long enough for Willow and the others to deal with the witches. That was all that mattered. Catherine had stopped chanting and was standing on a platform looking down at Willow who was apparently trying to plead with her. Even the Farachs seemed to keep an eye on the scene behind them, perhaps hoping for an order to withdraw. But the tone in Catherine's voice told him that she would never yield in her quest.

"I am your High Priestess." Catherine declared in loud, haughty voice giving Willow a superior look, "I am the oldest living witch. I have seen things beyond your wildest dreams. I taught you everything I know and I loved you. And this is how you repay me!" Willow's voice was surprisingly calm when she answered,

"This isn't you Catherine. This isn't the woman who I learnt from or the woman I loved. You know what unleashing the power of this crystal will do to the world and I refuse to believe you really want that. Just talk to me Catherine, let me help you."

Angel thought he could sense a change in the old woman and for a fleeting second he hoped it would all end here but then she spoke again and her voice was as cold and contemptuous as before,

"You think you know me because I occasionally let you crawl on my body like a flailing insect! You think you understand me because I taught you how to unbind a Taranik spell!" She suddenly threw her head back and laughed; a mad, detached laugh that killed all hope. Then she stopped abruptly and fixed a cold stare on Willow and hissed in a hoarse voice,

"You understand nothing! You don't know what it's like to see yourself slowly fade away, to watch as the person you once were slipping away. You're too young to understand the unbearable cruelty of the inevitable end. This crystal will give me the power to set it right, to bring peace and prosperity, to bring happiness and ultimate bliss." Her face was showing nothing but determination now and her voice burned with the passion of someone with no doubts. Angel had seen it before, the blinding terror of mortals as their lifespan reaches its conclusion. He knew in that moment this would never end until Catherine was dead. Apparently the Farachs came to the same conclusion and as the loyal mercenaries they were they immediately sprung into action.

As the broad sword of the Farach mercenary clashed with his he only had one thought; he had to protect Buffy. She had propped herself up against the wall behind him and he could hear her struggle to breathe. Over at the altar the witches had begun their battle. He could see a cascade of lights flying back and forth and Willow seemed to be going one on one with Catherine. But he couldn't pay attention to the witches for long as the four mercenaries took up all his focus. They began to take turns attacking him as if they were playing with him or testing his strength, but then suddenly two of them launched for him simultaneously and he barely managed to doge their weapons in time to keep his head. This wasn't working. He had to take control here. With a sudden leap he jumped over their heads and landed behind them. His sword missed the back of one of them by an inch as the mercenary spun around and blocked his efforts. But as he dodged another attack he did a double spin and managed to lodge his sword in his back. As the guy doubled over two others came for him and he had to fight hard to keep their swords off him. They were strong, stronger than any enemy he had fought in a long time and unlike him they were well rested. For every blow he had to match, for every punch they delivered to his body he could feel his energy fading. Eventually only willpower kept him going.

The sharp pain in his side told him he had been struck again and he fell down on one knee as a well aimed foot hit the back of his thigh with a loud crack. He forced himself up in time to block another attack but then reeled as he noticed one of the mercenaries going after Buffy. Strength he didn't know he had started to flow through him and he started pounding on the two guys in front of him with sheer rage. But Buffy had gratefully regained enough strength to hold her own and was doing a fair job of fighting him off. To his surprise Angel suddenly realized he was just fighting one as Spike and Kaya had started to tackle the other one. With Spike barely on his feet and Kaya not even close to a match for a Farach mercenary it didn't look good and Angel found himself worrying as much for them as he did for Buffy while at the same time trying to defeat his attacker. Just as he felt he was getting the upper hand on him a flash of light so bright it blinded them all came from the altar. Through the light Angel thought he saw Willow but only like a black shadow against the whiteness around her. A second later she flew through the air like a mitten and fell hard against the floor. They all froze for a moment, staring as Willow remained lifeless on the floor and Catherine calmly went back to the crystal and began to chant again. A chill spread around his body as he realized the High Priestess couldn't be defeated by magic. That only left physical force and he was the only one left with enough strength to take her on.

The temporary interruption soon ended and Angel launched with every last drop of determination on his adversary and succeeded in cutting off the hand that held the weapon. One quick blow later the mercenary lay dead at his feet. He hesitated there for a moment, torn between helping Buffy, Spike and Kaya or neutralizing Catherine. But a quick glance at Spike told him that the vampire was doing rather well for someone who had just been speared and Buffy seemed to be winning her battle, fighting with the passion and liveliness only she could muster at times like this. God how he loved her! But that made up his mind and he turned and ran. Within a few seconds he was heading up the stairs towards the altar.

Even though Catherine was unharmed the other witches had not been so lucky. All seven of them lay dead or dying at the base of the altar. He ignored them as he took the stairs three at a time. When he reached the top he raised his sword, aimed it at her backside and was just about to strike when she suddenly turned, mumbled something and to his shock he could no longer move. He stood there like a statue, his sword raised high and unable to complete his mission. She looked up at him with such a sickening smile that he whished he could throw up.

"Soon my darling." she whispered and caressed his cheek with her long fingers. "Soon we will have all the time in the world." Her eyes slid along his body in such a voluptuous way it made his skin crawl. He remembered all too well their encounter under the stars. How she had flattered him and praised him on his splendor, trying to get his loyalty. When he finally asked what she wanted she had actually tried to convince him that Buffy was no good for him, that all he needed was her. He remembered the desperation in her eyes, how she clung to his arm like a drowning to a lifeboat. She had even sunk so low that she tried to seduce him right then and there, letting her hand glide down along his chest and inside his pants. That's when he had freaked out and she had put the spell on him. Now it was obvious where she was planning on picking up from once the ceremony was complete. He felt strangely violated and whished he could at least close his eyes so he didn't have to look at her.

Just as Catherine was about to return to the crystal and her chanting, Buffy's voice came from behind him, strong and determined.

"Get your wrinkly paws off my boyfriend, bitch!" He could hear her walking up towards them but as Catherine turned with a menacing glint in her eyes he knew she was going to kill her. He fought like mad to break free, to move something, to do something but nothing helped. He was trapped and all he could do was watch helplessly as Catherine formed a fireball in her hand and threw it at Buffy. He couldn't see her fall but he heard it and he felt it. As her body hit a pillar and it collapsed on her the pain tore through him like million knifes. He wanted to scream but nothing came out.

"There now." Catherine purred in his ear. "No more unpleasant interruptions." Then she calmly went back to her chant.

Giles slowly opened his eyes. It felt like someone was pounding a sledgehammer on his head and he almost doubled over in pain trying to breathe. The last thing he remembered was helping Deanna holding off the attack of one of Catherine's witches. Now he was on the floor and by the feel of it rather badly hurt. He made an effort to sit up but he gasped in pain and had to abandon such a notion. His leg was clearly broken and he could see the bone sticking out of his flesh. And considering the pain in his shoulder he guessed he had dislocated it. He forced himself to breathe calmly and looked around. He could hear Catherine still chanting so the ceremony was apparently not finished yet but except for her voice echoing through the room there was an eerie silence. Had they already lost?

He clenched his jaw to keep from crying out in pain as he carefully sat up. Deanna was lying on the floor next to him, still unconscious but by the movement in her chest-area he concluded she was still alive. Some distance away he saw Xander sprawled on the floor, also unconscious but he was too far away to see if he was breathing. As his eyes kept scanning his surroundings his eyes fell on the scene by the altar. Angel was standing right behind Catherine with his sword pointing towards her back. Giles exhaled gratefully. It would surely be over soon. Angel would take care of it. But nothing happened. Angel just stood there as if he was carved in stone. It took a while for him to realize Angel was probably under some spell and his heart started to beat faster as panic began to spread through his body. He tried to get up but quickly had to concede he was in no shape to take on the High Priestess. But surely they couldn't all have been defeated?

He looked around frenetically. When his eyes landed on Willow's lifeless body a pain struck his chest worse than the pain in his leg. It couldn't be! He had been so sure she could take Catherine. She had stood so calm, so strong. He had never been more proud of her. All the things she had gone through, all the things she had sacrificed over the years, he had been convinced she was destined to be the most powerful High Priestess of all times. But there she was, motionless and helpless, and Catherine was close to succeeding. Tossed between hope and despair he continued to scan the large room as much as his broken body would allow. Where was Buffy? Please don't let her be dead too! Then he saw her and all hope vanished. She was lodged under a fallen pillar and all he could see of her was an arm and a leg sticking out under the rubble. The crystal was beginning to glow now and he could feel the surge of energy emanating from it. Slowly the energy started to flow from the crystal, through Catherine's hands and up her arms. There was only a matter of minutes before it would all be over. He made one final attempt to get up but his body wouldn't obey his whishes and he had to give up. He lay down again cursing his own weakness. Tears rolled down his cheek and he closed his eyes. He couldn't bear to watch the end.

Catherine's chanting was reaching its climax and the floor began to shake under him. Every movement was excruciating and he cringed in pain. It almost got to the point where he wished for it all to be over. Suddenly he heard something. He looked up, fearing his mind was playing tricks on him. But there she was, limping and bleeding but unbreakable. As she made her way up the stairs and towards Catherine it was clear every step she took was a painful struggle but she refused to give in. He smiled to himself. That was his Slayer.

Catherine´s chanting and the humming of the energy surge, was echoeing round the room but as Buffy painstakingly moved closer the High Priestess suddenly went silent. As Catherine squared her shoulders and turned regaly, Buffy used all her ironwill to take one last leap and launched her whole weight against the sword Angel still held in his hand. It pushed right into Catherine's heart and the energy surging through the woman stopped abruptly and Giles could hear a loud, inhuman shriek emanating from her throat. His eyes watered with pride. The dear, sweet girl had done it, she'd actually done it! She…the explosion hit like a ton of bricks and all went black.


	21. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Buffy carefully tensed her muscles and lifted her arms to see if they worked. She was sore all over and her left leg felt like it was broken. Spike and Kaya was dragging an unconscious Angel across the floor and it took a few seconds before she realized they were getting him away from the sun. She looked around still dazed from the explosion, and to her astonishment she saw a wide gaping hole where the embroidered canvas had once been and through it she could see the splendor of the mountains with the snow sparkling in the setting sun. There was no sign of the altar-table, the crystal or Catherine. A part of her was glad it was all gone but she also would have liked confirmation that the wicked witch really was dead.

She slowly pulled herself up from the floor. Her leg wouldn't move properly so she had to drag it along using her hands. But she needed to be with him, needed to make sure he was alright. She reached the shadow at far end of the room and collapsed next to him. He was awake, but barely.

"Quite a lightshow you put on." Spike said sarcastically. "I especially like what you did to the room." She just gave him a hard stare. She was not in the mood for jokes, sarcasm or any form of conversation right now. All she wanted was to rest. Angel opened his eyes when she touched him gently. They shared a smiled, the kind of smile you can only share with someone who knows the depth of your soul.

"I always knew you'd make it." he whispered lovingly and she put her head against his chest and felt herself relax for the first time in ages.

The scream woke her up. She sat up and looked around, trying to decide where it came from. Kaya was standing in the middle of the room, staring at something at the other end of the room. Buffy tried to stand but her head was spinning and she felt nauseous. She couldn't have been asleep for long; the sun was almost as bright as when she closed her eyes but it felt like an eternity. Suddenly she heard Xander's voice calling out in desperation.

"Willow! Will, can you hear me!" A chill spread through her body. Why hadn't she checked on the others? She could feel Angel move next to her and they helped each other off the floor. He came with her as far as he could before the sun forced him to stop. She let go of him and walked the rest of the way alone, dragging her useless leg along. When she got closer she noticed Xander hunched over Willow's lifeless body and her heart almost stopped beating. She wanted to run but her legs wouldn't carry her. It couldn't be! Not Willow! Deanna was sitting next to Xander trying to console him while continuously drying her own tears. Buffy stumbled towards them hoping against hope it was a mistake.

She kneeled next to Willow's body and gently touched her throat. She knew she was dead but still there was hope until her fingers felt no pulse. Xander had stopped screaming now and had buried his head in Deanna's arms, shaking like a leaf and sobbing quietly. Buffy whished she could cry but she had no tears left. With a great deal of effort she rose and went to check on Tess who was lying a few feet away. She quickly concluded that she was dead too as was Mayling. Her young body was sprawled across the stairs, her face twisted in pain and a hole was burnt through her chest. Buffy looked away in disgust and her eyes strayed in the direction of Angel in search for comfort. He was standing in the shadows, leaning heavily against a pillar. She could feel his grief as strongly as she felt her own. She had fought many battles over the years and lost too many friends but this was a price that was too high.

As she turned towards Willow again she noticed Giles. She wasn't sure why she hadn't seen him before, he must have been there. He was lying on the floor with his eyes closed and for a brief moment she feared he was dead too. Cassandra was letting her hands slowly glide along his shoulder but she looked so exhausted it was hard to imagine she had any healing left in her. When he slowly opened his eyes as she kneeled down next to him she felt such a relief that she wanted to curl up in his arms and cry. But she didn't dare touch him for fear of hurting him further and she couldn't muster any more tears.

"Buffy." he whispered, his voice barely audible. "You did good." He smiled but tears rolled down his cheek. She smiled back and as she glanced downwards she noticed his leg. "You're going to be alright." she whispered, smiling encouragingly and he gently patted her cheek with a weak hand. She took his hand in hers and kissed it affectionately. He closed his eyes again and seemed to fall asleep. Cassandra moaned a little and rested a heavy head in her hands. She had several cuts and bruises herself but she had chosen to help Giles instead of herself. Buffy whished she could help her somehow but she was useless here.

The need to be near Angel soon made her leave her friends and walk towards the shadows. As she got closer she noticed Angel and Kaya arguing. They were standing by the wall and Angel had his sword in his hand.

"Damn it Kaya! I have done everything for them!" he exclaimed angrily and Buffy's heart started to beat faster. "I will not stand by and watch her slip away. They own me, they owe us!" With that he raised his sword, said a few lines in a strange language she didn't understand and suddenly a white glow appeared on the surface of the wall. She recognized it as a portal and a scream escaped her lips but it was too late. Without hesitation he walked through the light and was gone.

Kaya met her halfway and put her arms around her for support as Buffy almost collapsed on the floor. She was speaking to her but it took a while before her brain could comprehend what she was saying. All she could think was that Angel was gone.

"It's OK Buffy. He'll be back soon." Kaya said reassuringly. "He just went to get help." "Bloody insane if you ask me." Spike scoffed from the shadows and Kaya gave him a cold stare.

"He knows what he's doing." she said confidently and helped Buffy sit down on the floor. She heard the words but they meant nothing as long as he was gone. She sat down on the floor, mainly because her legs would no longer support her. She felt numb and even though parts of her wanted to yell at Kaya for letting him go she didn't have the energy. Kaya sat down next to her and Spike hovered near by.

"Don't worry." Kaya whispered in an attempt to sooth her. "He'll be back soon." A few moments later a light appeared in the wall again and Angel stumbled through without his sword. He tripped and fell then pulled back in pain as he had come too close to the sun. Buffy couldn't breathe. She fought to get her muscles working but it was only with Kaya's help she made it up and with a couple of steps she fell into his arms again.

"Well?" Kaya asked cautiously, giving Angel a questioning look. He shrugged tiredly.

"I made my case. Now all we can do is wait."

Buffy had no idea how long she had slept but the sun had set behind the horizon and the room was now cold and dark. She could see a few fires burning in the distance and she could hear the quiet whispers of her friends talking. For a moment she felt safe and protected, as if everything was going to be alright, but then the memories hit her. She saw Willow's pale face in front of her again and she couldn't breathe. She had lost her best friend! Tears welled up in her eyes and she had no way of stopping them. She wept quietly, truing not to wake Angel. He needed to sleep, as did she. Her body still ached but the worst pain had already subsided. At least there was one good thing about being a Slayer. She healed fast.

When the tears faded she yawned widely and got ready to fall asleep again. Suddenly she felt something; a gust of wind but it wasn't cold, rather warm and it had a strange, delicate and quite nice smell to it. She could feel Angel stir and she sat up and looked around. Out of nowhere a mist appeared in the middle of the room. Something was coming and without a word they both got ready for the worst. The mist grew denser every second and soon the quiet buzz of her friends talking had died out as they all moved closer to the strange occurrence. Spike suddenly appeared out the shadow and asked quietly,

"Friends of yours?" Angel hesitated then shrugged.

"I don't know. It's always hard to tell but this seems a little too extravagant even for them." And it certainly did. The white mist was glowing now and the exquisite sounds of a choir were heard from deep within. The entire spectacle screamed the entrance of an angel and Buffy began to feel more and more suspicious. To her knowledge the Powers That Be never wasted any energy on theatricals.

"What if it's Catherine?" Deanna whispered with dread in her voice clinging desperately to Xander. Buffy's heart sank. She wouldn't be at all surprised it that bitch found a way back. But this seemed a little strange even for her. Giles came limping towards them using two bug-legs as crutches and Buffy sighed with relief. His leg had been set right and he looked a lot better than last time she saw him. When she caught his eyes she smiled and he smiled back. Then she turned back towards the strange mist. The choir was getting louder now and the mist sparkled like multicolored jewels. Then suddenly the mist parted and there she was, in a dress so white one would need sunglasses to look right at it and her hair so perfect it defied the laws of nature.

"Cordelia!" Angel gasped as the rest of them stared utterly speechless at the divine appearance before them.

Spike couldn't take his eyes off the breathtaking creature in front of him. As far as he could remember Cordelia had always been beautiful but this was out of this world. The dress clung seductively to her voluptuous body and her perfectly formed breasts practically screamed for attention, which he was more than happy to give them. But it wasn't just that she was a sex kitten she was also pure light and the innocence she exuded made for an extremely confusing contradiction. It was enough for any man to go bonkers.

Spike realized he was gawking like a dork and tore himself away form the apparition. He caught Kaya giving him the classic angry/hurt look that women always put on when a guy wanted to enjoy another woman's physical features. He quickly gave her the apologetic/I still think you're the best – look then wiped any signs of appreciation from his face. But little miss angel was without a doubt one of the finest female specimen he had ever encountered. And he clearly wasn't the only one who thought so. Xander was all-out starring and practically drooling, Giles had his jaw down around his ankles and even Angel had a look of absolute adoration.

The women seemed to find their former team member rather fascinating as well, except Kaya who seemed more focused on him and Buffy who was focusing on Angel. A sudden sharp pain hit him in his chest region as he suddenly realized Buffy had tears in her eyes. Why was she sad? Regardless of Cordelia's posh entrance she was clearly there to help so why wasn't Buffy happy? He vaguely recalled an almost romance between the then human Cordelia and Angel when Buffy was dead that time, but surely she couldn't be jealous? Then again women were strange creatures. They could get all sorts of strange ideas in their heads. He looked around to see if anyone was planning on doing anything besides staring but when it didn't seem like it he intervened.

"Nice to see you again, Cordelia." he greeted her cheerfully, hoping it would break the temporary madness they all seemed to be suffering from. The choir of voices stopped abruptly and he realized he hadn't even been aware they were still singing. As the mist faded away and the light that had her glowing like a star vanished Cordelia actually looked a little abashed.

"Did I overdo it?" she asked sweetly with a look of pure innocence.

"No not at all luv." Spike replied casually when no one else spoke. "A really…uh…interesting entrance. I especially liked the music. Nice touch." he continued, feeling more and more stupid.

"Oh I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried so hard." she said in an apologetic voice. "I just wanted it to be right, you know. It's my first assignment and I wasn't sure how to… I mean what you're supposed to do and stuff."

"Well, for what its worth I liked it." he said encouragingly and became acutely aware that everyone was looking at him as if he had done something wrong. Like they had anything to be proud of, staring at her like she was a damn mermaid! He scoffed a little then walked up to her. Someone should at least try to be civil here. "Welcome back to earth." he said simply and offered his hand cordially. She flashed him a smile that could have melted the icecaps then shook his hand gratefully. He could feel Kaya sulking behind him. Bloody hell! He was just trying to be nice! You really couldn't win with women.

When she was done shaking his hand Cordelia looked over at Angel with a soft but questioning look but the old ponce just stood there drooling, clearly unable to move or speak. Spike gave him a hard nudge to the side and he almost doubled over. Perhaps it had been a little too hard. As Angel tried to regain his posture Spike threw a quick glance over his shoulder. It was clear Buffy was feeling worse by the minute here and that he couldn't bear. He promptly took Cordelia by the arm and started leading her towards Willow.

"I'm guessing you're here to give us our super-witch back." he said and she sighed a little.

"I'm not doing so good, am I?" she asked him quietly. He tried to smile as comfortingly as he could.

"What are you talking about? I think you're doing great."

"No I'm not. People aren't supposed to be sad when we drop in." she insisted.

"Oh you mean Buffy?" he said casually, hoping no one overheard them. "Don't worry, they've just been through a lot. They'll be OK."

"Yeah I know. But I never meant to come between them." She sounded so sincere he felt a sudden urge to cry. "And poor Xander." she continued verging on tears.

"Maybe you should try wearing a different dress next time." he tried cautiously. She stared at him, her eyes sparkling like endless pools of utter beauty.

"You mean there's something wrong with my dress!" she exclaimed in horror and he had to force himself to look away. They had reached Willow's lifeless body and the others were right behind them.

"No no, not at all." he reassured her quietly. "It just might be a little more than most mortals can handle." At that he stepped away from her, figuring he was going to get the ice-treatment from Kaya for days.

Despite his best efforts to get Angel to pay attention to Buffy the old bugger was still fixed on Cordelia. As she kneeled down next to Willow her dress poured over the floor around her in complete perfection and her dark hair glistened like stars on a night sky. Her smooth skin was… he gasped as Kaya put her elbow in his stomach. After the mind numbing pain from his wounds had subsided he gave her a hard stare that she matched without flinching. He soon yielded to her superiority and looked down in penance. Hang on a bloody minute! What had she done to him? He was as domesticated as a lap dog! And the weirdest part was he didn't really mind. It felt nice to have someone that cared, someone that was his. He hadn't really had a woman to call his own since Dru and considering she had been stark raving mad this was a definite step up. He smiled a little to himself and carefully let his hand brush against her nicely shaped butt. He had done that a lot lately and had always gotten a rather bemusing response. This time though she slapped his hand away with a stern look that said she was in no mood to play. Fair enough.

Cordelia was still sitting silently in deep concentration, gently holding Willow's head in her lap. A soft pinkish light flowed from her hands and over Willow's body and to Spike's surprise Willow's dress actually changed color. He knew the colors of the witches' dresses had something to do with status but he had given no thought what so ever to how they got their different colors. But as Cordelia continued to infuse her with life-force her dress turned as white as Catherine's had been. Suddenly Willow inhaled hard and her eyes flew open with a start.

"Shhh." Cordelia whispered soothingly. "It's alright. You're going to be fine. Just breathe."

When Cordelia was done healing Willow, Buffy gracefully kneeled next to her friend. Xander was basically felling apart as he dropped to the floor on the other side of her crying loudly and pressing Willow's hand firmly to his chest.

"I thought I'd lost you." he sobbed helplessly and dried his nose on his sleeve. Buffy just held her hand and tried to smile. Willow looked at her questioningly.

"Did we win?" she asked, her voice barely carrying. Buffy nodded, trying hard to hold back the tears when she answered quietly,

"Yeah, we won."

"Was I dead?"

"Yap."

"Did you bring me back?"

"Nop, Cordelia did." At that Willow stared at her in amazement. Apparently she hadn't noticed Cordelia sitting just out of her eyesight. But as Buffy shot a rather dark look in Cordelia's direction Willow carefully lifted herself up on one elbow and looked over her shoulder. When she saw their former classmate in all her glory she giggled.

"Hi!" she said smiling like only one with extensive experience in the supernatural could smile at a time like this. "Fancy meeting you here. I guess I owe you thanks." Cordelia smiled serenely.

"Just doing my job."

"Cool job." Willow offered calmly. She was obviously taking the whole being back from the dead thing with a lot more dignity than he had, or Buffy had for that matter. She carefully sat up with Buffy's help and looked up at their faces with a comforting smile. But while Willow was regaining her strength Buffy seemed to be losing hers. Tears started to roll in a steady stream down her cheeks and Willow looked at her in surprise.

"Hey, it's OK." Willow said trying to reassure her friend. "I'm back now." But that only made Buffy cry even harder and she buried her head in Willow's arms. Cordelia looked like she was about to cry herself but instead she rose gracefully and went over to Angel who hadn't moved an inch, his face all dark and gloomy. God he could be depressing!

"What's the matter with you?" she scolded him. "You should go to her." But as fierce as her eyes on him were he didn't seem to hear a word she said. Instead he stuttered,

"They…they made you a…an angel." he finally finished and Spike thought for a second the big guy was about to faint.

"Yeah, so?" Cordelia asked bluntly and Spike had to snicker to himself. He liked this girl, angel or not.

"You look…"

"Angelic, yeah I got that. I'll try to be less breathtaking next time. But really, what are you doing?" She motioned towards Buffy but the big bloc of stupid just wouldn't get it. He kept insisting on answerers.

"When they restored my soul, was it…" he hesitated, stared at the floor for a moment then tried again, "Was it true, what Catherine said? Is it real?" Cordelia sighed.

"Yes, you have earned your soul. It's yours to keep, unless you go lose it again." she added with a little smile but he didn't seem to notice.

"Are you…" he hesitated again and every word seemed painful to spit out. Spike was getting increasingly frustrated with the whole conversation. "Are you OK? I mean…" he stopped again and his face was filled with pain. "I should have been able to save you." he stated with a voice cracking with agony and guilt. Spike could hardly bear it any longer but Cordelia just gently caressed his cheek and smiled warmly.

"Oh please, I'm an angel, dufus, what do you think?" she said with a sweat smile but when he didn't seem to understand she sighed heavily. "You weren't supposed to save me, honey. It was time for me to move on, that's all. But there's a girl over there, the love of your life if you remember, that's crying her heart out. Why aren't you with her?"

It took a few seconds before her words finally seemed to hit home and he flinched. His eyes sought out Buffy and it was like he saw her for the first time. She still had her head in Willow's arms and everyone was watching him intently. With tears welling up in his eyes he went over to her without another look at Cordelia. He sat down next to her and rapped his arms around her. She attempted to punish his delay, as women often do, by refusing to let him comfort her but that didn't last long and soon she was nestled in his embrace again. After that they all seemed to breathe a little easier and Spike glanced over at Kaya to see if she was in the mood for a bit of a cuddle herself but he couldn't read the look in her eyes so he decided not to push his luck.

With Angel sorted out Cordelia turned towards Xander. Spike had forgotten they were dating once but by the look on his face Spike figured the bloke was way past a nervous breakdown. But he had held up well so far, all things considered. When he had discovered that Willow was dead he had wailed and whimpered like a madman, but after an hour or so he had pulled himself together. He had even gone to get wood for a fire. Spike had to admire the guy, going into the bug-den like that. Deanna was with him of course. She followed him around like a faithful puppy lately. But Xander had gone a little mad as he unsuccessfully tried to chop the bug-parts into smaller pieces though. Spike had to go bail him out before he lost it completely.

When Xander noticed Cordelia watching him he got up slowly. He avoided her eyes and when he spoke it was barely English.

"Do… she… I mean, has some…have you…" he stopped and took a deep breath. Cordelia simply watched him patiently. "Do you know if she's alright?" he finally finished. Spike figured he meant Dawn and Buffy lifted her head from Angel's chest. Cordelia just gave him a long, unreadable look then gently caressed his cheek.

"You still don't know how important you are, do you?" she asked quietly. He just stared at her, clearly not understanding a word. "Yes Xander, Dawn is fine. Happy. And you should be too. Why won't you let yourself be happy?" He flinched and shrugged uncomfortably. Spike had actually wondered the same a few times. Xander was always there, helping and encouraging, never letting anyone give up. But he couldn't remember ever seeing him really happy. Well, not since Anya anyway. Perhaps not even then.

"You're a good man." Cordelia pressed, unwilling to let him off the hook.

"That's not true!" he suddenly spat angrily. "I'm nobody! I'm a punching bag! Good old Xander, let's see how his head sounds when it hits the pavement! Getting knocked unconscious is the only thing I'm good at." He was crying again but this time he wiped away the tears angrily with his sleeve. She put her hands around his face and made him look at her. Then she spoke with a voice that cut straight to the heart.

"Listen to me! You _are_ important Xander. You _do_ make a difference, more than you'll ever understand. I should know, after all you changed me. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. I'd still be a spoiled bitch with a massive chip on my shoulder." She thought for a moment. "Well actually I would probably be a vampire or worse, but anyway…"she paused and seemed to scan his face to see if her words had registered but he just watched her with a blank expression, so she continued quietly, "Your whole life you've been telling yourself that you're just here by accident. You've been telling yourself that it was Buffy and Willow that were the heroes and you just got caught up in it by accident. But that's not true. Do you honestly think you would have been able to stay alive this long if you didn't matter? That They would have let you?" She suddenly flashed him an impish smile and added, "And for the love of God Xander, stop blaming yourself for what happened between us! You were seventeen! You made a mistake. Get over it!"

As hard as Xander may have whished to there was no way he could avoid hearing her words or believing in them. But for a guy who had never believed in himself for a second in his entire life hearing all that from an angel and a former girlfriend no less, that was too much. He suddenly gasped for air and pressed his hands against his stomach in pain. Cassandra made a move to try to help him but Cordelia simply placed a hand on his head and closed her eyes for a moment. A vague light flowed from her hands again and soon he was as calm as if nothing had happed. Calm but exhausted. He dropped to the floor and Deanna was there in a flash, holding him close to her. Cordelia smiled and nodded to herself in satisfaction. Then she turned her attention to Willow.

Spike had completely forgotten the other two witches who had also died but as Willow slowly rose from the floor she noticed them and went even paler than usual. When Cordelia helped her stand up she looked at her questioningly.

"Can't you help them too?" she asked faintly already suspecting the answer. Cordelia suddenly looked very sad and shook her head.

"It's not my decision who lives or dies, I'm just the messenger." Her eyes watered up for a moment and it seemed she would lose herself in grief but then she pulled herself together and focused on Willow instead.

"I have a message for you." she said gravely. "A vision actually. And before you ask, no I don't know what it means." She gently lifted her hand and touched Willow's forehead. Willow closed her eyes and a surge of energy went through Cordelia's fingers. Suddenly Willow flinched as if she had been electrocuted then gasped for air. Both Buffy and Angel was quickly on their feet to keep her from falling. When Willow opened her eyes again something had changed. She shared a look with Cordelia that was filled with mutual bewilderment then Cordelia suddenly looked upwards as if she heard something.

"I have to go." she said quietly. "Go in peace." she added serenely then gave Spike a bemused smile. "Do you think I can get away with that or was it too much?" she asked and he smiled,

"It was very angel-like. I'm sure your future customers will appreciate it."

As her last gesture she turned towards Angel and Buffy.

"Take care of each other." she said compassionately and then took a few steps back and was gone. No mist, no choir. Spike had to admit he was a bit disappointed.


	22. Epilogue

**Epilogue **

Laughter filled the room and Xander cut himself another large piece of the most delicious chocolate cake he had ever eaten. They were back at the witches' coven in Austria and strangely enough he didn't mind it this time. It even felt a little like home. The warm glow from the fire, the attentive audience hanging on their every word as they tried to recite their adventures and the wonderfully rich and mouthwatering food that kept turning up on the table, all of it made him feel like he had ended up in heaven. But it had taken them a long time to get here, almost a week had past since their victory over Catherine. They had been forced to stay at the temple until Angel's team arrived. Neither of them wanted to leave until they could make sure the crystal was really and truly gone. Hundreds of people, demons and psychics had scurried the site, but no one found even so much as a hint of the crystal or Catherine. It had been extremely frustrating but finally Willow had composed enough information to convince her that the blast had destroyed the crystal. Then they had all come back here.

He couldn't remember last time he felt this happy. The threat had been averted, they were all together again, there was great food and he had a girl that liked him by his side. And this time she wasn't a demon, half-demon or a government agent. Just a girl that liked him. Sure she was a witch but he could deal with that. He smiled at her and she smile back, her black eyes glistening in the soft candlelight.

"Weren't you scared?" Deanna asked him suddenly and it took a moment before he realized she was referring to the story Buffy had just told of how they had defeated the Mayor on graduation day. He looked over at Buffy.

"No of course I wasn't scared. Why should I? Buffy was there." He winked at Buffy and she gave him a warm smile. Spike then launched into an amusing story of how he and Buffy had killed a couple of chaos-demons together a few years ago.

Xander glanced over at Willow. She was sitting at the head of the table, smiling a little at Spike's story, a smile that never touched her eyes. She had stepped into the role of High Priestess effortlessly and the second she arrived here it had been obvious to everyone this was now her castle. She had given orders without hesitation and no one had challenged her. With Tess gone Willow was the most powerful witch on earth and the phone had been ringing off the hook with people and other creatures wanting to pay their respect to the new High Priestess. Willow had taken all the commotion in her usual calm way but Xander could see something had changed in her since that vision Cordelia had given her. She had refused to talk about it but Xander had caught her sharing a quiet conversation with Fridha were they had both agreed that darkness was coming. Fridha had stated with complete confidence that they would prevail but Willow had just hugged her without a word. It bothered him a little but there wasn't much he could do. Besides he felt Cordelia might have been right. He hadn't let himself be happy and it was about time he did.

When Spike had finished his story there was a temporary silence when they all just sat and enjoyed their full bellies, warm and cozy surroundings. Suddenly Kaya spoke, her voice strangely suspicious.

"What's your problem with Spike? Hasn't he proven by now he's on our side?" Xander stared at her in shock as he realized she was speaking to Deanna. He immediately felt a desire to protect her and was about to launch into a tirade about Kaya having no right, but one look at Deanna's face told him he should be quiet. She was watching Kaya with complete calm and when she spoke her voice was firm and even compassionate.

"I know he's on our side. But he was an animal once and that animal killed my whole family." Her words hit like a bomb and they all held their breaths. When she shifted her gaze from Kaya to Spike she did it without flinching.

"I was six years old. My mother let you in cause you said you were with the police. You had a badge and everything. Then you killed them all. I don't expect you remember but you and Dru really excelled in cruelty that week before our Voodoo priest ran you out of town."

When she finished the warm atmosphere in the room had turned into Siberian winter and no one dared breathe. Kaya looked like she wished the floor would open up underneath her and the other witches had utter shock written on their faces. Apparently Deanna had kept her secret well. Even Willow stared at her in stunned disbelief.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked faintly but Deanna simply shrugged.

"I didn't want you to think I couldn't handle it. Besides, he's proven his loyalty often enough. It's just…" she hesitated for a moment and threw a quick glance in Spike's direction then looked away. "…when I see his face I see the beast that killed my mother, my father and three brothers and then spent three days waiting for me to come out of my nanna's house. But the fear…It's just a reflex. I mean he's saved my life since then so… " She went silent without finishing the sentence.

Xander whished he could be surprised at this revelation but over the years he had been forced to accept the demonic past of both Angel and Spike. And he had always known something was wrong between her and Spike, but as he listened to her speak now he thought he could sense a change in her. She seemed to grow stronger by the minute, empowered by the words themselves. When she spoke again she looked at Spike with a whole new expression in her eyes.

"You probably did stuff like that all the time but the experience changed me. I lived with my nanna for a few years, but after she died no one really wanted to have anything to do with me. I was a scary reminder of the horrors in the world, horrors people prefer to ignore. I left town at fourteen and a few years later Catherine found me. I never blamed you, just hated you. But I suppose its time I let go."

Spike had been silent and kept his eyes firmly on the plate in front of him. Now he met her eyes and to Xander's surprise there were tears in them. Spike, unlike Angel, had always taken a rather unsentimental approach to his former demonic persona. And Angel's deep yearning for penance had never seemed to be an issue with Spike. Then again he had never been forced to deal with it in the same way Angel had to, at least not until now. When he spoke his voice cracked with emotion and it was so quiet you could barely hear him,

"I remember. You escaped through the window. You ran so fast. I remember thinking you had a lot of spunk for someone so young." Spike's eyes glazed over as he recalled the experience, "You ran to a house across the street and when I caught up to you you had already made it past the threshold. An old woman screamed and fainted but you just stood there. Then you closed the door." He flinched as if the memory was physically painful. Kaya was crying openly now, clearly feeling the pain too. Xander wasn't sure what to do. He had always kind of gotten used to not liking Spike. They always argued and bickered. But truth be told the old vampire had sort of grown on him. Somehow he was always there, loyal and honest, never wavering no matter what the danger. It had been easy to forget his past though, perhaps too easy. With Angel the darkness was always there, written on his brooding face. In Spike's case though his carefree attitude had made it difficult to imagine him a monster, especially since they had known him while he was a monster and the chip had made him such a unremarkable one that it never really registered that he had once been dangerous. But now it was painfully clear his reputation was more than just words in a book and you could cut the tension in the room with a knife.

"Sorry isn't a very useful word is it?" Spike suddenly stated thoughtfully, looking at Deanna again. She met his eyes calmly and when she replied she did it calmly without hesitation,

"No it's not. I'll never forgive the monster in you, but you're different now and so am I." Spike glanced over at Angel who had been sitting very still and quiet.

"So this is that pesky remorse you've been yapping about." he said with half a smile but Angel just gave him one of his dark looks that felt like he could see right into your soul. Spike clenched his jaw and looked away and Xander had to smile to himself. The fact that Angel had such obvious seniority on Spike was rather satisfying. Spike thought for a moment then cleared his throat and got straight to the point, as usual.

"Right, so I won't apologies cause that ain't enough and I don't want you thinking that I think it is. But you're right, I have changed. The past is what it is, I can't do anything about that but I do good now, or I try to at least." He paused for a moment then leaned in across the table. That gesture would have made Deanna pull back only a few moments ago but now she held her own, meeting his eyes levelly. "Look, I'll make you a deal." he continued in complete sincerity, "If you give me another chance I'll do my best to keep you safe from whatever beasts there are out there. OK?" His eyes scanned her face questioningly and when she smiled a little he looked so relieved it was almost funny.

"No, that's alright." she answered smiling confidently, "I can take care of myself. Just one thing." she added, her face getting serious again. "What happened to my brother?" Spike swallowed hard and looked away.

"Dru turned him." he replied simply.

"Yes, I kind if figured that. I mean what happened to him. After?" Spike looked up, his eyes filled with sympathy.

"He got caught in the sun a few weeks later."

"Good." she said. "Then he didn't have time to kill too many."

"No." Spike said with a comforting smile. "He didn't kill anyone as I recall. Didn't have the heart for it."

Xander squeezed her hand affectionately as the atmosphere slowly defrosted. He felt proud of her and the feelings that had lingered in the back if his mind now demanded his attention. He allowed himself to admit she was beautiful, more so than any other women he had ever met. She was stronger than most women too, except Willow and Buffy of course. But what he liked the most about her was her sincerity. She never played any games or tried to be anything she wasn't. As she turned her head and met his eyes he felt like he could drown happily in her warm gaze. In that instant he knew he loved her.

Buffy sighed happily and nestled in a little deeper in the comfy couch, resting her head against Angel's shoulder. This was perfect; all her closest friends were here with her, sitting around the big fire, talking, listening and laughing. And most importantly they were safe. By defeating Dacq'ilion they had managed to wipe out a large percentage of the worst demons around and now that the Crystal was gone it was almost as if their side had finally gotten the upper hand. She had always assumed that they would be fighting against impossible odds for all eternity but for the first time in her life it didn't feel so impossible anymore.

The revelation at dinner had taken its toll on all of them but since Deanna handled it so well no one else felt a need to make a fuss. The line between good and evil had blurred a bit the past week. And it's not like she didn't know what Spike was capable of when he put his mind to it. The really big surprise however had been the ease with which everyone had accepted Willow. It was almost as if Catherine had been just a bad dream and they had finally woken up. Only Willow was throwing uneasy glances towards Catherine's old chair and she had bluntly refused to sit in it. They had to go and fetch a new chair before she would sit down. But all though her friend did her best to hide it there was a great deal of sadness in her eyes since Cordelia had given her the vision. She had asked Willow what the vision had been but she had skillfully evaded the question. Whatever it was it had rattled her friend big-time. More evil no doubt but evil for another day.

While they were digesting their food and enjoying quiet conversation Kaya had managed to find a guitar that she now handed to Spike with an encouraging nod. Buffy vaguely recalled he had taken up songwriting a few years ago but she had never heard him sing. To her surprise he was actually very good and soon the whole room was in high spirits. Apparently Catherine had disapproved of her coven to engage in any frivolous activities and it took a while before the witches dared to express any pleasure over this sudden musical entertainment but after Willow had joined in during a song they all relaxed considerably. Eventually the cheerfulness had spread and more people began to contribute to the fun.

Buffy had found she couldn't stop smiling and when glanced up at Angel from time to time he seemed to be smiling as much as she did. It was heavenly to be able to let go and just have fun. She couldn't remember last time she had fun. And when a couple of the witches from Ireland suddenly got in their heads to teach Angel Irish folkdance she laughed until she cried. It certainly revealed a whole new side to him she had never seen before and she loved him even more. But that wasn't nearly as much fun as watching Giles go wild in some African tribal dance. She laughed so hard she almost fell off the couch.

As the evening wore on though, they all began to feel the effects of the past weeks demands. Giles eventually nodded off in his chair and Willow had resumed staring vacantly into the fire. Spike was singing a slow, fairly sad song which he had dedicated to Kaya with a glint in his eye. While he sang the atmosphere in the room changed and everyone knew it was time to call it a night. Buffy felt Angel stir next to her and suddenly the cold lump of ice in her gut was back. There were too many memories spinning around in her mind and the not so pleasant ones were the loudest. The touch of his body, the feel of his lips, all the good things she could vaguely remember were tangled up with memories of Angelus killing off her friends and sinking his teeth in her neck. She knew it wasn't Angel but it still hurt. Like Deanna had said the fear was a reflex.

Suddenly Kaya took a firm hold on Spike's hand and got up off the couch. By the look on her face there was no doubt where she was taking him and Spike seemed as surprised as Buffy felt. But he didn't object much, in fact he was grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Xander and Deanna were saying goodnight to everyone aswell, although Deanna didn't seem to be sending out that kind of invitation just yet. She glanced over at Willow but she was completely absorbed in her own thoughts, staring into the fire. Giles was snoring in his chair, his head hanging rather uncomfortably against his chest. For a moment she thought of waking him but decided against it.

With everyone slowly retiring to their rooms Buffy suddenly felt very tired. The events of the past few days was catching up to her and she felt herself drift away, leaning heavily against Angels shoulder. She blinked and poised herself again as she looked up at him. He smiled down on her, a sweet, gentle smile.

"Time for bed, huh." he said quietly and helped her off the couch. She gratefully accepted his help and as he held her protectively as they walked upstairs she had a flashback of simpler times, before Angelus, before all the death and destruction. It had felt so right then, like the universe had created them to fit perfectly together. Now she knew the universe was far more complicated then that.

_Shrieks echoing in the darkness. A bright light, blue shining lights. No Buffy, don't! Armies facing each other under a cloud of ashes. Demons. Armies of demons. No air. No hope. Please help us! Have to fight. Humans fighting humans, fighting demons. Fear. Pain ripping her body. I failed. Nooooo! _

Willow woke up screaming, her body drenched in sweat and she was shaking all over. The images Cordelia had given her were tearing at her and the nightmares were getting worse. She whished she could make sense of them or at least find some clue how to stop it. But the intense sensation that she would fail this time was burning through her mind like wildfire. It couldn't be! Why would the powers to be give her these images if she was meant to fail? It made no sense. She pushed away the damp sheet and got out of bed. Her legs almost buckled and she had to lean on the bedpost for a moment. When she had regained enough balance she stumbled over to the dresser. She filled the bowl with water and splashed the cold liquid on her face, hoping it would wash away the images. But as she looked into her own eyes in the reflection in the mirror she knew they would never go away.


End file.
